The Darkness To My Light
by wizardfantasy
Summary: After the death of Morgause, Morgana is overcome by grief and loneliness and decides on a spur of the moment attack on Merlin in revenge. Little does she know that her attack will change her relationship with Merlin for the rest of her life. Reveal fic. Set around S4.03. M for a reason. Mergana. But alot of Bromance too!
1. Chapter 1

**Well, after a long debate with me and my notebooks I've decided to venture into Merlin fanfiction. Normally I'm a huge Arthur/Merlin shipper but this Merlin/Morgana Idea just wouldn't leave me alone. It might end up rather lengthy or incredibly short! This will be a reveal fic as well so Arthur/Merlin fans will be happy with a bit of bromance. Either away I hope you enjoy!**

**After the death of Morgause, Morgana is overcome by grief and loneliness and decides on a spur of the moment attack on Merlin and Gaius in revenge. Little does she know that her attack will change her relationship with Merlin for the rest of her life. Set around S4.03. M for a reason.  
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* * *

_She was coming. I could feel it. The council chamber shook with power. I could feel her anger and grief consuming her; it spread throughout the kingdom like wildfire, touching everything in its wake. I felt no hatred towards the poor girl; after all we weren't so different from each other. She had finally found someone who had understood her and now it had been taken away. All I felt for was, shame, and sadness. Shame, that I hadn't done anything to help her when I could have, and sadness for the hopelessness she now felt._

_The council chambers doors flew open and Arthur stormed in disturbing my train of thought._

'_Merlin, what on earth is going on?' He asked._

'_Get away Arthur she's coming, you shouldn't be here' I despaired at the situation. Arthur couldn't be here now. Not when she was coming. He would find out my secret. Panic gripped me._

'_Please Arthur, I'm begging you'_

'_Who's coming? Merlin you're not making any sense!' Arthur asked again. By now the whole of the royal court had begun shuffling into the council room. I was just considering whether to put them all to sleep, when she came._

_Morgana burst into the room, her eyes golden and her dark black hair billowing around her in a halo of darkness. Her eyes now back to the shining emeralds turned immediately to me._

'_You killed her!' She screamed. Her face turned in a wild ferocious snarl so unlike the girl of three years ago. 'She's dead because of you!'_

_Arthur took no notice of her words and drew his sword and walked towards her._

'_Morgana I don't want to hurt you, but if your hurt anyone you will leave me no choice' I almost scoffed, Morgana had more power than Arthur realised. He was underestimating magic, underestimating the situation, Although I couldn't blame him for believing she was deep down the sweet kind girl she had once been. I knew better._

_Morgana's glare turned to Arthur and her hands lifted as if to attack. I immediately stepped in front of Arthur and raised my own hands._

'_Morgana your quarrel is with me let everyone else go' The power in my voice surprised me, I had never had the chance to stand in front of everyone I knew and command power. But I did it so easily. _

'_I don't think so' She sneered at me 'I'm going to kill you Merlin, Like you killed her. I'm going to kill you in front of all who loves you and I will watch as they cry over your dead body, and then they will now my pain and my revenge will be complete'_

'_That won't bring Morgause back' I pleaded with her although I knew it was pointless. 'You're grief will still be as complete as it was before'_

'_But my sister will rest peacefully' She replied 'and I will get personal revenge for when you tried to poison me and for all the plans you thwarted'_

'_Merlin' Arthur began confused. 'What the hell is… ?'_

_The rest of his sentence was cut off as Morgana raised her hands now pointed at me and her eyes turned a familiar brilliant gold. _

'_Forbærne! Ácwele!' Morgana shouted, and a stream of fireballs shot towards me._

_I knew I had no choice, so at the same time in front of everybody I retaliated to block, not to injure. _

'_Miere torr sweoloþhat!'_

_What happened next I would remember for the rest of my life the spells met in the middle of the room and burst into a whirlwind of gold and silver sparks that drew together then expanded and flew at both myself and Morgana. They struck and I flew backwards in the air. I fell with a crash yet I felt no pain just a strange tingling sensation that ran through the whole of my body._

_Morgana was the first to stand up and she looked at me in fear. I couldn't help notice how beautiful she was. I forced myself to clear my thoughts and raised my hands to try again, however she just stared at me._

'_You're a sorcerer!' She screamed at me. I couldn't help but be pleased._

'_Oh, I'm no sorcerer Morgana, I'm a warlock and destined to be the most powerful magic wielder to walk Albion. The druids call me Emrys'_

_The fear intensified now into horror and she backed away, although something pulled at my chest when she did. _

'_You traitor' She said softly and with a flash of Golden eyes she was gone._

* * *

I woke with a start her name on my lips as I sat up straight in bed. The familiarity of my chambers in Gaius's rooms looked back at me, as I tried to take in my dream. I couldn't help wonder if I had seen the future…but I was no seer. Morgana was though. Morgana. She was on my every thought and somehow I knew she was plotting revenge.

'Morgana' I whispered.

* * *

**Well there's your teaser. You can get the spells and info on the spells from the interenet but I'm sure you get the gist of them . I know it sounds awfully like Harry Potter, but Harry doesn't fall in love with Voldemort unless you read some seriously twisted fanfics! :P. Let me know what you think. I'll update soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2, might be a bit boring but it will pick up soon I promise. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Merlin**.

* * *

I didn't get back to sleep that night, instead I moved into Gaius's chambers and watched the sun rise through the small window on the side of the room, Camelot looked eerily quiet in the morning sun, and it seemed very vulnerable to me. Vulnerable to an attack from Morgana. Gaius's soft snores punctuated the air and i sighed, the dream had seemed so real, it was like I had been there.

'Merlin?' Gaius's sleepy voice called over to me

'Morning' I murmured my thoughts preoccupied with her. Always her.

'How long have you been up?' He asked as he began to ready himself for the day.

'Most of the night' I replied vaguely.

'Did you not sleep well?' he asked concern filling his voice. I turned to look at him. Gaius was like a father to me. He had raised me and taught me the purpose for my magic, I couldn't help but think that Morgana should have been rewarded the same opportunity.

'That's an understatement' I sighed then proceeded to tell him about my dream or vision whichever it was.

'But Merlin my boy, you're not a seer' Gaius said. I felt frustration prick my mood.

'I know Gaius, but it didn't feel like any dream I've had before'

Gaius paused and I could almost see his thoughts ticking over.

'Well, if it was a vision we best work out what happened' he said. I watched as he ventured towards the table we used to dine on and set about making breakfast. I went to join him, watching him work.

'She was upset and lonely'

'Well if Morgause is dead we should be prepared for a full scale battle' Gaius said.

'No' I replied 'It was just me she wanted to harm, I've never seen her so angry before' she was truly a fearsome thing to behold in her black outfit and wild hair. Wildly beautiful I thought. She had always been beautiful though, I remembered her three years ago when she wore long colourful silk dresses that clung to every inch of her body like a second skin. Her hair fell in black rivers of chaos which contrasted her perfect alabaster skin which was so like my own. There was a time when I considered her the most beautiful woman I had ever known. Before she changed, before magic corrupted her. What was worse, was deep down I knew I could have prevented it.

'What about this spell you were telling me about?' Gaius broke my train of thought and I turned my attention back to him.

'I don't know' I paused 'Our magic clashed and it rebounded hitting both of us, but there was no pain or injury just a curious sensation'

'Hmm…' Gaius trailed off.

'Hmm?' I questioned 'that's it, that's all you've got to offer me is hmm?' I was frustrated, that spell had seemed so important, like something major had happened.

'I don't want to make any guesses Merlin' Gaius said.

'Well guess work might be our best option right now' I said, trying to persuade him to talk about his theories.

'Merlin we don't even know if what you saw is going to happen, this could all just be a strange dream'

'Yes but it never works out like that does it?' I said 'Remember the crystal cave, you told me those visions wouldn't happen and look what occurred.'

'Merlin, remember, if these are real there's something more important you need to worry about' Gaius reminded me.

'What?' I asked confused.

'Arthur see's you doing magic'

I Paused. I had completely overlooked that fact. I had been completely focussed on Morgana and not on the gravity of the consequences that could happen if he ever found out.

'Well' I paused 'King Prat will just have to stay unconscious for the next week or so until I figure this out'

Gaius chuckled, 'And how are you going to do that Merlin?'

'I'm the most powerful warlock to ever live I'm sure I can figure it out' I said cheekily.

'I see, I think all this power is making your head swell'

I laughed in response 'Yeah because I have so many people to show off too, you know maybe if he found out it would be a good thing, he wouldn't think I was such an idiot anymore'

'Yes but Merlin if he found out, do you really think he's going to drop down in awe of you?' Gaius asked.

'Well he might show me some respect for once'

'What? After you tell him that it was _you_ that let the dragon escape, it was_ you_ that poisoned Morgana, that _your_ Dragoon the great, that _you_ lied to him about his birth…' He trailed off

'Okay, Okay, Maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea then'

But I so badly wanted that respect. I didn't want any title or reward but just a simple thank you, an acknowledgment. I could sympathise with Morgana on some level. But my frustration with Arthur's blindness didn't turn me evil, it just made me sad. I wondered if I'd ever fulfil my destiny by Arthur's side. It seemed so far away.

Gaius seemed to pick up on my thoughts. 'Your time will come Merlin, I'm sure of it'

'I know, it's just getting there that's the problem'

He smiled at me and offered no reply. I found my thoughts drifting again to Morgana, Was Morgause dead now, or was she dying a slow and painful death in the arms of her sister? I shuddered and forced myself not to think on it. Morgana made her own choices I reminded myself. Ah but what a bitter choice it was.

'Merlin, you're going to be late'

I cursed; Arthur was never in a good mood in the mornings and my lateness would not help the situation even though I had a perfectly good excuse this time. I would have to blame it on my idiotic qualities he believed me to have. I grabbed the bacon sandwich Gaius had made for me, thanked him then rushed to wake the King Prat.

* * *

Far away Morgana was nursing her sister in the only shelter they had found given their situation. Morgause's power was weak and Morgana did not know enough of magic to be able to transport them very far. The best she had done was finding some cave like hut in the side of hill disguised by the earth that had grown over it not.

Morgana had thrown together a bed of sorts and had a set a fire going. Morgause lay on the bed her once beautiful golden hair a now dirty ash colour that clung to the sweat on her cheeks. She was dying, Morgana knew this but she did not allow herself to give up. Morgause was her sister, her own flesh and blood the only person she had left. Arthur her estranged half-brother did not count.

Morgause coughed such a weak sound like there was no energy behind it.

'Sister' Morgana said stroking her frail cheek 'Hold on for me, you'll be okay, I promise'

'We both know that's a lie my love' Morgause whispered back her voice barely audible.

'No' Morgana disagreed. 'I'm going to save you'

'I know one day you will become a powerful healer Morgana, I feel that in you, even now as my life diminishes' Morgause lifted a shaky hand to touch her sister's cheek, but it fell through lack of strength. Morgana picked it up and held it there for her instead. 'But you're not ready yet, your power is still developing'

'It's not fair' Morgana cried in anguish tears dripping down her beautiful face. 'I've only just found you, you can't leave me alone'

'You will avenge me my sister I know it' Morgause said her maimed face once beautiful now frowning in pain. 'One day you will be queen of Camelot, you will bring magic back to this land and the world will bow before you in awe and respect'

Morgana had no reply and could only listen to her sister's words slowly become quieter.

'I will be there when it happens; I will watch from above and guide you to greatness. And I will be so proud knowing that I had some part in guiding you to your destiny'

'I will do everything for you sister' Morgana said now sobbing pitifully. She moved behind her frail sister and lifted her back to rest against her chest. She brought her arms around her and rocked her as she succumbed to inevitability.

'Live for me sister, be everything you can possibly be' her voice was almost inaudible now, her eyes slowly closing.

'No, no, no' Morgana murmured her rocking increasing. 'I don't want to be alone in this world sister, it's so dreadfully quiet.'

'I love you my sister' And Morgana felt the faint rise of Morgause's chest she had felt beneath her arms stop and her body became impossibly still.

'Morgause?' Morgana whispered. There was no reply, and the horror of the situation pressed fully onto the young priestess's shoulders. Sobs racked her body as she clung to her sister's lifeless frame. She hadn't been able to save her. The one person she had loved above anyone else in the world. The one person who understood her accepted her, loved her, was now gone. Morgana had never felt lonelier.

Despair clutched at her heart as her thoughts circled. She would never be accepted. Arthur's rein would mean more blood spilt for her kind. There would be no peace whilst he was on the throne. But first things were first, her sister would be avenged if it was the last thing she did. She allowed her thoughts to turn even darker as she pictured the sharp cheek boned face the big ears and coal black hair, the piercing blue eyes that seemed to see into the depths of her soul.

Merlin.

* * *

**I know it wasn't very long. But things pick up after this I promise. I just wanted you to feel Morgana's thoughts and where she's coming from in her feelings. She's so misunderstood I think. Hope you liked it. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added me to their favourites! You all really help my motivation!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

* * *

My thoughts consumed me as I walked to the kitchens to get Arthurs Breakfast. The whole situation seemed so much worse now I brought Arthurs presence in the dream to reality. Was he ready to learn about magic? Was he ready to fulfil his destiny? Hell was I ready for him to know? I was so used to playing the part of the bumbling servant who occasionally sprouted a few words of wisdom now and again that I couldn't help but be worried. I wondered what would change if Arthur found out.

His whole perspective of me would change and in light of that, I doubted if I would ever be able to be his servant again. But I so wanted our relationship to stay the same, over the years we had created a strong friendship with an underlying sense of comradeship and loyalty in it mixed with some teasing and light bullying on Arthur's behalf. More than anything I didn't want to lose his friendship, but deep down I knew it would never be the same.

My thoughts turned back to Morgana, how did she fit into all this? I knew Arthur deep down believed he could bring the loving girl we all once knew and loved back from the past back to the present. But I had my doubts; Morgana was consumed by corruption and a want to kill. The way she saw it anyone and everyone was her enemy. I knew she thought she was doing right and I knew she was lonely and just wanted to be accepted but I couldn't forgive her for going to Morgause, for betraying us so fully.

_Ah, But you betrayed her to when you shoved poison down her throat, _a cruel voice said in my mind. I tried time and time again to tell myself that it was to save the kingdom. But somehow I couldn't quite forgive myself; it was like I knew that somehow there must have been another way. Morgause didn't have her fully converted to her when she had attacked. I knew at the time, that Morgana was still confused and scared. I should have saved her and shown her the evil ways of her so called sister. But instead I listened to the dragon.

Kilgharrah I sighed thinking about him. My kin, my brother in magic and heart. I missed him, he had guided me so well these years, and although we had our ups and downs, his hatred for Morgana being one, not to mention his escape and the chaos that came after, we were still extremely close. He was my kin, my dragon; he understood me and knew me like no other. He knew my thoughts before they were out of my head. I longed for a time when we could show our bond freely as dragon and dragon lord and show the whole of Albion the beauty of magic and all of its creatures. But that time was a long way off and I knew that the people of Camelot would have a hard time forgiving him his slaughter of hundreds of people. It didn't stop me wishing though.

'Merlin?'

Gwen. Lovely kind hearted Gwen brought me out of my musings.

'Morning Gwen you look lovely today, anyone you looking to impress?' I asked cheekily.

'Don't be silly' she replied.

I liked Gwen. She was my first friend here and she was a lovely giving person who loved Arthur completely, but I couldn't help but wonder that if Lancelot had been around, she wouldn't be waiting for Arthur so patiently.

I firmly believed that there was one person for everyone on this earth; I knew it was kind of cheesy but I believed in the idea of soul mates. Freya hadn't been mine, as much as I liked her and missed her, I knew my feelings for her had been sprouted by sympathy for her situation and her want for life .I knew given time we would have been the best of friends, but nothing more. I knew she wasn't the girl for me. But Gwen, she seemed so determined in Arthur yet had lusted openly for Lancelot, and part of me didn't want to forgive her for that.

'Are you heading for the kitchens?' She asked.

'Yes' I replied 'Arthur's breakfast'

Gwen laughed 'It's a bit late isn't it?'

'Yeah I didn't sleep well'

'Well, I'm sure he'll forgive you' She paused and laughed at my dubious expression 'eventually'

'Yes well you're making me even later' I joked.

'I'll let you go then, see you later Merlin' she waved and continued around the corner her arms filled with laundry.

I continued into the kitchens where I received a stern lecture from Mary the head cook about my tardiness and then gave me Arthur's breakfast and I continued on my way. The castle was so familiar to me now. It was my home. I loved my mother very much and missed her acutely. But Camelot had become my home; the people who I considered to be the rest of my family were here. Besides it was a much more interesting place to live than Ealdor, despite the warning of a death sentence hanging around my neck.

I pushed open Arthurs chamber door with my spare hand and was startled to find him already up glaring at me from behind his desk.

'Rise and shine?' I ventured.

'You're late' He said bluntly, his blonde arrogant head gleaming in the morning sunshine that spilled through his window.

'I am' I replied.

'I assume you have a perfectly good explanation?' He asked.

I considered what to tell him and eventually decided on something which was vaguely true.

'I didn't sleep very well last night'

'Aw, is Merlin having nightmares?' He asked nastily. I felt a flash of irritation, if only he knew the half of it.

'You have no idea' I mumbled. I laid down his breakfast in front of him and set about making his bed.

'Did Gaius not read you a bedtime story?' He continued to tease me, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth. I sighed and did not reply.

'What no reply Merlin, wow, that nightmare must have been scary'

I gave no reply; once again he had no comprehension of the gravity of the situation or the dread that lay in the depths of my stomach. _Ah, but you can't tell him what really happened can you, so how can you blame him for his teasing? _I cursed myself and my forgiving brain; I could somehow never bring myself to hate Arthur for anything. That was the difference between me and Morgana.

Arthur seemed to realise something was bugging me and he frowned.

'Are you okay?' his voice serious now. He seemed to have clicked that I wasn't feeling my best.

'Just a feeling' I replied vaguely.

'A feeling…' Arthur trailed off with one eyebrow raised.

'I don't know, I just think something is going to happen'

'Well we can't run Camelot off of your feelings Merlin' Arthur replied.

'Yes you do a much better job' I kept my sarcasm subtle and I heard the pause as he seemed to determine whether or not I was mocking him. He decided I wasn't.

'What do your feelings tell you Merlin?' he asked taking a sip from his goblet his blue eyes watching me.

'That Morgana is coming back' I don't know why I was being so reckless but the panic from my dream was setting in. How could I just wait around and not warn the King that a magical attack could be happening sometime soon. On the other hand I knew I couldn't actually tell him.

'Morgana?' Arthur asked then paused. 'She's been quiet, probably nursing her_ sister_ back to health, I doubt she's ready to attack us' I noticed the way he twisted the word 'sister' his opinion of Morgause wasn't a high one.

'What if she's dead?' I asked.

'Morgana?' he asked stupidly.

'Morgause you clotpole' I said rolling my eyes.

'Oi' he said pointing a finger at me and mock glaring.

'I'm serious Arthur, what if she is dead, grief can make you do reckless things, and Morgana is naturally reckless'

'What makes you such an expert on her Merlin?' he asked.

'Nothing' I replied quickly not wanting him to get suspicious. 'Like I said, it's just a feeling. '

'Yes well, your feelings aside I have training practice with my knights later so you need to polish my armour, sharpen my sword…' He carried on with his list of things but I was barely listening, my thoughts were on her, always on her.

* * *

It was sometime later I returned to Gaius's chambers he was waiting for me it seemed. He was pacing anxiously and there were books thrown across his chambers. He had obviously been doing research.

'Have you found anything?' I asked excitedly my thoughts turning to the weird spell that had occurred between me and Morgana in the dream.

'No' Gaius said, and came to a stop.

'Oh' I said and waited for him to continue.

'But I do know that what you saw was a vision of the future' he finished.

'_Oh_' I said again.

So it _was_ going to happen. Morgana was coming, my thoughts swirled in a mad panic as I tried to prepare.

'Wait, how do you know this?' I asked I took up Gaius's previous pacing.

'There's a book on fore dreams and visions, its old and I haven't looked at in a while but something just told me to' Gaius paused. 'When a seer is distressed they can't receive a vision, that's why they normally get them at night, when they are most peaceful and relaxed. But if a particular vision comes and the said seer isn't waiting to receive it, then a magical person they are bonded with receives it instead'

'So you're saying I received Morgana's vision because she was too distressed to receive it?' I asked confused.

'Exactly' Gaius replied.

'But I'm not bonded with her' I said.

'Maybe not in friendship or romance Merlin, but you are through destiny' he replied.

'The darkness to my light' I mumbled repeating Kilgharrah's past words.

'What?'

'Nothing' I replied. 'So what do I do Gaius?'

'I don't think there's anything you can do Merlin' Gaius said 'Morgana is her own person who is probably blinded my grief, you won't be able to stop her coming'

'And there's no way of knowing _when_ she is coming is there?' I asked. 'So I can't make sure Arthur is anywhere around without knocking him out for several weeks.'

'I'm afraid not my boy, visions are helpful but there not very specific' Gaius replied.

'What do I do about the spell?' I asked

'Merlin we don't know what that spell _is_ let alone what it will_ do'_

I considered this. That spell could be something harmful or something completely different; there was no way of knowing without just letting it happen.

'But its caused by us sending spells at each other' I said my thoughts running wildly 'maybe it's to do with the spell I send, what if I send a different one at her? What if I don't send one at all?'

'What and just let her kill you and then Arthur?' Gaius asked.

I sniffed. Maybe not.

'I don't think you should change anything Merlin, playing with the future is a dangerous thing and not without consequences, maybe you should ask the great dragon for help?' Gaius suggested.

'No, there's no point, I know what he would say' I said.

'And what's that?'

I tried to mimic his deep booming voice.

'_None of us can change our destiny Merlin_…or maybe…_the witch must die, strike her with everything you have,_ in fact he'd probably give me a hand'

Gaius did not seem amused.

'I think you should just let this play out'

'What and let Arthur learn my secret? I don't think he's ready Gaius'

'I disagree'

'Well maybe you'll take your words back when you're watching me burn' I snapped. I paused as I saw Gaius's shocked face.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm just scared Gaius'

'Of course you are Merlin, I'm scared for you my boy' Gaius said 'but I promise, and I firmly believe that you will not burn, but become the greatest Warlock Albion will ever know'

I Sighed.

'She doesn't know what she's started does she' I said my thoughts turning back to Morgana, always back to her. 'She must be so lonely'

'Now, Merlin, you must remember she's not the same, she wants your blood and your head on a platter'

'I know, but I still miss her' there was a pause and then.

'Me too my boy, me too'

'Well we best sit down and remember exactly what happened in this dream and work out a battle plan'

'I thought you weren't going to change anything?' Gaius said sternly

'I meant in dealing with Arthur afterwards'

The thought wasn't comforting.

* * *

**Well there you go. Next chapter is the big reveal and the reveal of what is going to happen to Merlin and Morgana. Hehe I can't wait to write it! **

**Oh, and about the Gwen bit, I don't like her I think she's a bit of a whore to be honest I mean she kissed Merlin in season 1 then when she couldn't get him she snogged Arthur, then Lancelot when she couldn't be bothered to wait for him, and I think Gwaine kisses her on the cheek at some point. I mean Jesus! **

**So yeah, there won't be any Arthur/Gwen in this fic. I might reference it but nothing major. Sorry! Anyway rant over…please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

**Just in case any of you are confused I tend to write Merlin in 1****st**** person because I feel I know his character and understand what he's feeling better than the others, who I write in 3****rd****. I might have a go at Writing Morgana in 1****st**** eventually but I'll ****work up to it.**

* * *

'Honestly Merlin, I think the best plan is just let this whole thing work itself out' Gaius said.

We had spent hours planning and re-planning what I was going to do. Nerves were starting to set in and I pushed them down quickly.

'This is ridiculous…we don't even know when she's going to attack this could be years away' I said frustrated.

'I doubt Morgause will live that long Merlin'

'Good riddance' I said harshly then regretted it.

I didn't like the witch, in fact I hated her. But because of her death we were about to have a very angry Morgana on our hands. Not just angry, but sad to. I couldn't blame her actions thought, if Gaius was killed or any of my friends, I wouldn't know how I would react, and I guess you never know until the situation arises.

There was a knock on Gaius's door.

'Enter'

'Merlin mate, long time no see' Gwaine swaggered into the room. I smiled in reply.

Other than Arthur, Gwaine was probably my closest friend, although I'd never tell him that directly of course. But Gwaine had a way of making all my problems seem trivial. He was always there to listen and to join in my rants about Arthur. There were times when I considered telling him the truth about my magic, and although I knew he would never betray my trust I didn't want to put anyone in the situation where they had to choose between two friends, It had been hard enough with Lancelot.

_But you didn't care with Lancelot my head reminded me. Other than Gaius he was the only one who really knew you and if you admitted it to yourself, you loved having someone notice you for who you really were._

I pushed that selfish part of myself to the back of my consciousness and gave Gwaine my full attention.

'You saw me yesterday in training' I said 'how much mead have you been drinking?'

'Not enough' Gwaine laughed then remembered. 'Oh yeah, Arthur was making you run with the target board'

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment, whenever Arthur was in a bad mood he always took it out on me. 'Thanks for reminding me'

Gwaine laughed 'if it makes you feel any better mate, I didn't shoot at you'

'It doesn't…That just means you think I'm too soft to be fired at'

'Or maybe I just didn't want to hurt you' Gwaine replied archly.

'Boys!' Gaius interrupted 'you're making my brain ache'

I realised once again that Gwaine had done a brilliant job of taking me out of my musings about Morgana and her estranged sister. I sighed, well now they were back.

'What happened in here?' Gwaine asked surveying Gaius's chambers. Books and ink were strewn everywhere with bits of food that had kept us going through our research.

'Just researching' I replied.

'What...Looking into how to get into outer space?' he asked. There were a lot of books.

'Just because you can't read Gwaine doesn't mean we can't' I said laughing.

'Don't be clever Merlin, it doesn't become you'

'Well someone has to be clever around here' I said, then in a quieter voice said 'We all know Arthur isn't'

'What's the princess done now?' he asked. I laughed at his use of Arthur's nickname; even though Arthur had become King he still called him princess

'Just thinking I'm at his beck and call all the time' I said vaguely I couldn't actually tell him it was his blindness of the whole situation.

'Well you _are_ his servant' Gwaine said. I picked up the nearest book and threw it at him. It missed by a mile and Gwaine hadn't even moved. 'You're aim is as good as ever Merlin'

'We can't all be knights' I said sulkily.

'Speaking of his royal Princess, he wants you to clean the council room floors; he's got a meeting discussing the problem of Cenred's kingdom in a couple of hours'

'The whole of the council rooms?' I thundered.

'I'm afraid so mate'

'That's ridiculous' I said

'It is a little extreme, but our princess does love to appear in style and cleanliness'

'How am I going to get it done in two hours?' I couldn't risk using magic in the middle of the castle.

'Don't look at me, I'm not helping you' Gwaine said.

'No I didn't think you would' I replied.

'Best get to it then Merlin' Gaius said.

'See you later Merlin' Gwaine said and left the chambers.

'Merlin?' Gaius asked. 'Don't you think it's a coincidence that your dream took place in the council rooms and you're going there now?'

I panicked. Maybe he was right, what if this was it, my fight with Morgana was going to change so many things and I didn't know if I was ready. What if Arthur killed me? Hell, what if Morgana killed me? Then I remembered.

'No, in the dream I could feel her coming, the very castle shook with her anger and grief' I said 'I don't feel that now'

'Not yet maybe' Gaius said. But I refused to believe it was this soon.

'No it's not happening now' I assured myself. Gaius gave no reply.

I grabbed my jacket and pulled it on then tied my neckerchief around my neck. I stumbled towards the door before I pulled myself together. Confidence Merlin, her magic is nothing compared to yours. _What? I thought you had just agreed it wasn't going to happen now. _I shook my head and opened the door.

'See you later' I said to Gaius and he gave a nervous smile in return.

* * *

Gwaine walked back outside basking in the morning sunshine to the training grounds to find Arthur to tell him Merlin was on the job. He couldn't help but wonder about him this morning. He had seemed lively enough, and he had participated in their usual banter, but he couldn't help but think something was wrong. There were shadows under his eyes, obviously through lack of sleep, and they were shifty, constantly moving like he was stuck in a deep problem. He remembered the books strewn all over the chambers.

'_Just researching' Merlin had said._

Researching what? Gwaine pondered. Whatever it was it was important enough that Gaius was involved, at this time in the morning he was usually doing rounds in the lower villages yet something had kept him in this morning. Merlin was a riddle, he had known the first time he had met him. His eyes hadn't been drawn to the Prince, who walked and talked like the royalty he was. But to his servant, Merlin; the kind, pale boy who would do anything for anyone. Yet when you looked closer Gwaine could see the pain, the loneliness, despite all his friends Merlin was lonely. He carried secrets, Gwaine could see that, and finding them out was like getting blood from a stone. Merlin was a very good liar Gwaine decided.

His thoughts turned to Arthur and his relationship with the boy. They were close, everyone knew that behind the mockery and the teasing antics, they were like brothers and part of him was jealous. He wished Merlin trusted him like that. But did he actually_ trust_ Arthur Gwaine considered? Arthur didn't even look close enough to see that there was something wrong with Merlin. Most of the time he wasn't even bothered; too caught up in something else to notice. So if Merlin didn't tell Gwaine his secrets and he didn't tell Arthur, then who did he tell his secrets too?

Gaius. The old man was clearly like a father to Merlin. They were like magnets, whenever they were together Gaius's eyes were never far away from his young charge, sometimes he would see a frown of worry cross his face, and other times pride. The worry he could appreciate, Merlin was a clumsy fool who didn't go a week without some kind of injury. Yet pride? Merlin was a good servant and a loyal friend but the amount of pride Gaius showed was as if Merlin was saviour of the world, and Gwaine didn't know what to make of it. As far as he could see Merlin was no knight or strong man, he couldn't wield a sword and in battle most of the time he could be seen hiding behind a tree, so what had he done that deserved that much pride?

Gwaine shook his head and decided not to dwell on it anymore he could see Arthur running his knights through some training exercises and smiled. Even as King, Arthur had not delegated his previous princely duties to someone else, he had kept them. Arthur was clever that way, Gwaine had to admit, and he knew the courage and the strength of the knights of Camelot came from the love of the kingdom and their loyalty to Arthur. Gwaine knew Arthur knew this and wasn't about to do anything that could alter it.

'Ah Gwaine is the idiot getting on with it then?' Arthur asked referring to Merlin.

'Yes Princess he's doing it as we speak' Arthur just nodded, he didn't even bat and eyelid at Gwaine's nickname for him anymore, he knew that no amount of punishment, save execution was going to stop Gwaine from having fun at his expense.

'Don't you think it's a bit extreme asking him to do the whole of the council rooms? Gwaine asked.

'No, it will give him something to think about' Arthur said.

Gwaine suddenly understood, Arthur had noticed Merlin's strange mood too. He knew giving Merlin a big task to do might make him feel better.

'So you're going to take his mind of things, by exhausting him?' he asked.

'It's a logical idea, he wasn't sleeping well so hopefully if he's tired enough he will sleep undisturbed' Arthur said.

'I suppose' Gwaine muttered.

'Has he told you what's wrong?' Arthur asked his eyes appraising Gwaine.

'No, But I know something _is_ wrong'

'Yes, I wish he would trust me enough to talk to me' Arthur said quietly, so quietly Gwaine wasn't sure if Arthur knew he had spoken out loud.

'He does trust you Arthur' Gwaine said his serious head now emerging. 'Despite what he might say I know Merlin would lay his life down for you'.

'Yes, but what's in it for him?' Arthur asked turning his blue eyes to Gwaine.

Gwaine had never seen Arthur so pensive before. He cared more for Merlin then Gwaine had realised, he didn't think even Arthur knew how much had cared for the bumbling idiot.

'I don't think he wants anything Arthur'

'No' Arthur agreed 'I just don't know what I did to earn his loyalty, he used to hate me you know'

'Hate you?' he asked incredulous.

'Yes' Arthur laughed now remembering 'When he first came here, years ago he hated my guts and I him, but I knew then as I do now that there's something odd and special about him' Arthur stopped then and a reddish tint grew on his cheeks like he knew he had probably said too much.

'Yes, I just wish I knew what it was' Gwaine said ignoring for once Arthurs embarrassment.

'Merlin loves his secrets' Arthur laughed.

Suddenly there was a loud rumble from the skies like thunder. The knights stopped and looked above them. The blue skies and the morning sunshine were slowly turning a dark black. Rain started to pour from the heavens, big drops of it that drenched and chilled Gwaine to the bones.

'Let's get inside' Arthur commanded. He knew there was no point continuing in this weather.

The knights hastened to do as commanded when a gust of wind blew past them. It knocked them off their feet but what stopped them was the sound that came with it. A haunting scream resounded on torrents of the wind. A sound that was vaguely familiar to Arthur. Then came the emotion, a wave of sadness hit all of them, grief so strong that it shook them to their core.

'What's happening?' Gwaine shouted to Arthur. 'This isn't a normal storm'

'Sorcery!' Arthur shouted over the noise.

The wind was strong now, and the sadness that they all felt was swiftly turning to anger. Anger so strong it started affecting the knights who were now gritting their teeth in pain. The eerie scream on the wind came again and this time Arthur recognised it. Morgana.

'It's Morgana!' Arthur shouted and the knights looked alarmed and drew their weapons as if expecting her to appear at any moment. But the wind didn't stop at them it continued on past them and into the castle.

'Wait' Gwaine said. 'If she doesn't want you then who does she want?'

The answer came to both of them at the same time.

'Merlin!'

* * *

I could feel it crawling over my skin like icy spiders. Grief so intense it was chilling me through my clothes and making me cry tears of sadness. She was here, she was coming. Destiny was about to happen. I had tried telling myself it wasn't going to happen this soon but I knew deep down that this was inevitable, as soon as I had set foot in the council chambers.

I stood from my place on the floor and waited. My thoughts in a whirl of chaos. Any second Morgana was going to appear in all her fiery glory and Arthur would watch, as me and his sister struck in a clash of magic and power. This was happening, everything was happening exactly like the vision had foretold.

Arthur burst into the council chambers lured by the magic that was focusing upon me and this room .My eyes closed in pain as I realised destiny had come to quick. I wasn't ready for this.

'You didn't tell me this would was going to happen, Kilgharrah' I said out loud. It didn't matter what I was talking about now, he would learn it all eventually.

'Merlin what on earth is going on?' I heard Arthur says the words, the same words that he had said before and I knew I had to stick to the dream. I turned towards him and the other knights, Gwaine and Gaius who were no filling into the room.

'Get away Arthur she's coming, you shouldn't be here' I said. My eyes found Gaius and I shook my head at him. He knew that it was happening and could do nothing but nod in reply. My eyes found Gwaine and he was staring at me with wide eyes. I was different now; he could see that, everyone could see it. In face of the oncoming attack I forced myself into the role of Emrys; Powerful warlock and protector of Arthur and Albion. The change in my persona I knew must be startling as I radiated pure power.

'Please Arthur I'm begging you' I heard myself say. His eyes so much like my own turned towards me. He had noticed the change as well and I knew he didn't understand.

The room was beginning to shake with the force of Morgana's rage. She was coming, she would be here soon.

'Who's coming? Merlin you're not making any sense!' Arthur cried in reply.

I let her actions give him the answer as Morgana burst into the room, her eyes immediately found mine and I couldn't help but step backwards as I was hit with the full scale of overwhelming power of her grief. Her eyes were gold with the magic of her teleportation, but were quickly turning back into the shining emeralds I had thought I knew so well.

My heart was thudding wildly and I was surprised the very room didn't echo from the sound of it. I had never been so scared in my entire life; I didn't envy Morgana and her visions. For the first time, I knew the true horror of what it was like to be a seer. To know your fate and be unable to change it as it came hurtling towards you was a cruel power to have.

Her hair billowed around her in a black halo of chaos and she started screaming at me.

'You killed her!' She screamed. Her face turned in a wild ferocious snarl so unlike the girl of three years ago. 'She's dead because of you!'

I of course knew what she was talking about and found that I could say nothing but stare at her, terrified with the knowledge of what would happen next. Arthur however decided to step forward. He drew his sword and started a slow walk towards her.

'Morgana I don't want to hurt you, but if your hurt anyone you will leave me no choice' I almost scoffed, Morgana had more power than Arthur realised. He was underestimating magic, underestimating the situation, although I couldn't blame him for believing she was deep down the sweet kind girl she had once been. I knew better.

Morgana's glare turned to Arthur and her hands lifted as if to attack. I immediately stepped in front of Arthur and raised my own hands knowing that I had no choice but to follow the vision to come to pass. I saw Arthurs eyes widen with surprise as I confidently faced his sister.

'Morgana your quarrel is with me let everyone else go' the power in my voice surprised me, I had never had the chance to stand in front of everyone I knew and command power. But I did it so easily. It felt so weird repeating myself yet knowing that in reality I hadn't actually said these words before.

'I don't think so' She sneered at me 'I'm going to kill you Merlin, like you killed her. I'm going to kill you in front of all who loves you and I will watch as they cry over your dead body, and then they will now my pain and my revenge will be complete' hearing the words again made me realise how vicious her words were and I had no doubt that if I failed she would follow through on her promise.

'That won't bring Morgause back' I pleaded with her although I knew it was pointless. 'You're grief will still be as complete as it was before'

'But my sister will rest peacefully' She replied 'and I will get personal revenge for when you tried to poison me and for all the plans you thwarted'

'Merlin' Arthur began confused. 'What the hell is…?'

The rest of his sentence was cut off as Morgana raised her hands now pointed at me and her eyes turned a familiar brilliant gold.

It had come to this then. The spell, the very thought of it had filled my mind throughout the day and I would finally find out what it meant, what would happen. I considered changing my own attack. Should I? Would anything actually happen differently? I had no time to think, it was time to act.

'Forbærne! Ácwele!' Morgana shouted, and a stream of fireballs shot towards me.

I knew I had no choice, so at the same time in front of everybody I retaliated to block, not to injure. The same spell I had done before in the vision.

'Miere torr sweoloþhat!'

I watched as everything repeated itself. The spells met in the middle of the room and burst into a whirlwind of gold and silver sparks that drew together then expanded and flew at both myself and Morgana. They struck and I flew backwards in the air. I fell with a crash yet I felt no pain just a strange tingling sensation that ran through the whole of my body.

Morgana was the first to stand up and she looked at me in fear. I couldn't help notice how beautiful she was. I forced myself to clear my thoughts and raised my hands to try again, however she just stared at me.

'You're a sorcerer!' She screamed at me. I couldn't help but be pleased that she finally knew who I was.

'Oh, I'm no sorcerer Morgana, I'm a warlock and destined to be the most powerful magic wielder to walk Albion. The druids call me Emrys'

The fear intensified now into horror and she backed away, although something pulled at my chest when she did.

'You traitor' She said softly and with a flash of Golden eyes she was gone.

I fell to my knees at her disappearance, something pulled at my heart now she was gone. I missed her presence I realised. I shook myself and forced myself to get rid of my stupid thoughts. I still didn't know what the spell had done, but I knew I would find out eventually.

'On your feet' a cold voice said from where I was kneeling. I felt the cold chill of a blade against my throat, Arthur.

I stood and turned to face him. There was no emotion, nothing give away what he was feeling. He stared at me for the longest time and I stared back. The Arthur I had knew and cared about had vanished and in front of me instead stood a man who had just had his world turned upside down. _Well that made two of us_ I thought dryly.

'Leon' He called out. His eyes never wavering from my face and I didn't remove mine. From the corner of my eye I saw Leon step forward hesitatingly. 'There's something I want from the vaults, something my father kept long ago, you know what it is'

'Sire' he paused looking between both of us. 'Are you sure?'

'DO AS I SAY!' Arthur yelled.

I felt a wave of fear come across me. What was Arthur going to get? Some kind of torture device that would give me a slow and painful death. I didn't think Arthur could be so much like his father.

'Sire' Gaius said and stepped forward. 'Maybe you should let him explain'

'Gaius, don't admit you knew about this traitor or I will throw you in the dungeons' Arthur said his eyes still on my face.

I forced mine to move and address my mentor 'Don't Gaius, we knew this would happen'

'My boy' He murmured in reply tears of sadness dripping down his cheeks.

Leon re-entered the halls a box in hand. It was some kind of torture equipment then. Brilliant. I watched as Arthur for the first time turned his eyes away from me and strode to Leon. From inside the box he withdrew a pair of shackles. He then turned back towards me.

'My father refused to use these he thought they were too close to magic' He stepped forward and clasped them over my wrists locking them in place. 'They stop sorcerers from using magic to escape'

He was right; I could feel them blocking me, stopping me reaching towards what was rightfully mine. And for the first time I felt a flash of pure hate for Arthur. Magic was what I was good at, it was what I did, how dare he take that away from me, my only comfort.

'How like your father you are Arthur, willing to use magic to get what you want, but hating it for everything else, what a lovely pair of hypocrites you do make' my voice was deep and filled with hate and power that I had never heard before.

Silence filled the room at my words and I saw Gaius wince from the corner of my eyes, and I knew it was coming. Arthur's fist flew at my face and pain erupted down my cheek and the room flashed before me as I fell to my knees again.

'Merlin!' a new voice yelled and Gwaine hurtled towards me grabbing my face to assess the damage.

'You bastard!' Gwaine cursed then jumped to his feet and flew at Arthur. Arthur grabbed his arms and threw him back towards me and guards stepped forward to put shackles around his wrists too.

'You knew about this Gwaine?' Arthur asked.

'Of course not, but he doesn't deserve this, Princess' the nickname sounded so spiteful now 'He would die for you'

'And so he shall if I so decide, but in the mean time you can join him in the dungeons' Arthur said then turned to the guards 'Take them away'

Strong arms lifted us both and we were dragged to the depths of the castle and thrown inside a cell together. At least I wouldn't be lonely I decided.

'Are you okay Merlin?' Gwaine asked. His shackles had been removed but my own hadn't. keeping the block on my magic strong. His fingers were stroking my cheek assessing the damage.

I considered the question. I felt a deep loneliness in my chest consume me, an ache I couldn't describe not because of Arthurs actions, however hateful they were, they were to be expected. No, it was something else, the pain was like a dull knife in my stomach which shook my entire body, I needed something, something was calling to me. I needed it to survive, I couldn't survive without it. I suddenly realised what it was.

'Morgana' I said.

* * *

**Wow! Long chapter, 9 pages on Word, it's took me most of the day. Hope you like it. Please review this chapter really did take a lot of effort. By the way you can do a pretty good drinking game on this chapter…take a drink every time I mention grief lol. I need a different word for grief. Let me know what you think! =]**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for reviewing and adding me to favourites and story alert especially for that last chapter…It took forever!**

**Here's Morgana's reaction to the spell and Merlin's explanation to Gwaine. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters. **

* * *

Morgana only managed to teleport so far before her emotions took over and she fell to the ground sobbing in the forest of Dean not far from Camelot's borders. The sun shone through the trees creating a soft shadow of the heartbroken girl dressed in black to gleam on the forest floor. Black was the colour of her robes and black was her emotions. Never before had she felt more betrayed.

Merlin was Emrys, Emrys was Merlin. It all made sense now, she had known that old man from somewhere and now she realised just how much she did know him. Merlin, the loyal dog of the King of Camelot was destined to be her doom, it just didn't seem real. All she could think about were the times when she had reached out to Merlin and Gaius for help and all the times they had refused. Merlin had had help, and support, love and acceptance, and instead of sharing it with her, he had given her nothing.

She gripped the tough ground with her nails creating long swipes in the thick dirt. Tears dripped down her face and onto the ground making patches of damp which turned to mud. Merlin, who had appeared so noble, had been plotting against her all this time. Emrys/Merlin was the reason her plans had failed, he was the reason magic wasn't back in Camelot. She cursed the traitor and yelled his name in bitter agony to the sky.

'YOU'RE A TRAITOUR TO YOUR KIND!'

Morgana had moved past angry and into rage and felt it consume her very heart and soul. He was the reason she was alone now, alone with no Morgause to comfort her and promise her retribution. She missed her sister's council, and wondered what she would say if she was here. She would tell her to assess the situation Morgana decided. She forced her mind back to the council room. She was so sure Merlin was going to die, she had watched as the fireballs had hurtled towards Merlin only to be stopped by his own defensive magic only for them to meet and explode in a shower of silver and gold, rebound and hit both of them in turn. What had he done? Had he cast some spell to weaken her? She didn't feel weakened, she checked her store of magic deep within herself and felt the glowing embers that resided within her soul, and it was still strong. So what had he done? It had clearly affected both of them; she recalled the way Merlin had been thrown across the room. But he hadn't seemed surprised by it all, almost as if he knew what was going to happen.

She recalled the sensation of the strange silver and gold magic hitting her. It was as if a feather had been swept across her naked chest, a tingling sensation that stopped almost as soon as it had started. It wasn't a bad feeling, far from it she realised, she wondered if Merlin had felt the same.

A strange longing overcame her then, an ache that spread through her body and put her teeth on edge. A vague feeling came over her as if she was being pulled in another direction, back towards Camelot she realised. She tried to place the strange craving that pulled through her soul. She looked within herself and saw him; tall and thin with a head full of dark black hair so similar to her own colour, eyes as blue as the deepest ocean, and cheekbones that were high and defined that gave his face an ethereal appearance. He didn't look normal, far from it, she could sense it now, he was the very image of magic personified in human form. He was strength and pure explosive, power, he was magic. He was Merlin. The realisation sent another wave of anger through her.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME DEMON!'

Had he put some kind of love spell on her? No, she realised it went deeper than that, it was if her very magic, her very soul was calling to him, reaching for him begging her body to go to him, to cling to his arms and never let go. It wasn't just her magic which wanted him, her body ached to touch him, to stroke him, taste him, and cling to the very fibres of his body till she could take no more. Never before had she felt such a desire to be near to someone. She hated him all over again, she did not like to be controlled, she did not like to have her emotions messed with or her actions dictated, that was too much like Uther, and she would be no one's prisoner, least of all to a traitorous so called warlock who bowed down to the Pendragon name and dynasty. She would bow to no one. But oh how she wanted him. Merlin's magic and soul was calling to her.

A near sound of horses came to her senses, breaking her anger and meditation. Arthur would not let her actions this morning go unpunished, he would hunt her, and right now she didn't want to be found. What she wanted was to find Merlin and demand he stop what he was doing to her. A part of herself, a very big part of herself wanted to find him for other reasons she realised, but she couldn't trust her emotions right now. She needed to be far away from Camelot, where she could plan and plot against the one who had ruined her life.

* * *

Her very soul called to me. I needed her; I could picture her so clearly, with black hair in waves of silky softness, skin so smooth and perfect, with a full red lips and eyes that flashed between green and gold. Her magic too, so different to my own needed to be mine, it was so free and uncontrolled; I felt my own magic grow at the thought of her own mingling with her own. I was starting to realise what that spell had done, it had made me hopelessly in love with my arch enemy. Yet this was not normal love. This was the very girl destiny had created to be my foe. I could never kill her now I realised, I couldn't live without her. So much had changed since this morning, in hours my whole world had changed, no this was not normal live this was elemental instinctive and without motive. I hadn't picked her; I hadn't bonded with her, laughed with her like love should happen. Definitely not normal I decided.

I could feel her presence if I concentrated, it was close in the forest of Dean; she hadn't got far from the council rooms I realised. She was too overcome with anger, confusion and desire. So she was feeling this too, I couldn't decide how she felt about it though. I gathered it wouldn't be good.

'Merlin mate, you okay?' Gwaine asked.

My thoughts turned to him. I was grateful he had defended me, at least he didn't think I was a monster, though how he would react to my new found feelings of Morgana I didn't know, I guess there was no time like the present to explain things to my friend. I wasn't going anywhere, Arthur's magic binding shackles had seen to that.

'No far from it'

'Look I'm sure his royal Pratness will come round eventually, he just needs some time to adjust'

'It's not him I'm worried about' I replied.

'Oh' Gwaine replied confused 'Because you don't seem so calm and relaxed'

I gave no reply. The ache from the absence of Morgana was starting to develop into a mild pain that stung every part of my body including my magic. Gwaine seemed to realise I was going to give no answer; he changed his tact and became more serious.

'Who are you really Merlin?'

'I am Emrys, the most powerful warlock to walk Albion, I am Dragon Lord to Kilgharrah the great dragon, my one true kin and brother, I am Merlin son of Balinor and Hunith, I am prophesised to protect Arthur and return magic to Albion' I said fairly swiftly. There was a long pause before.

'I see' Gwaine said in a small voice 'That's a lot to take in'

'Yes, it was for me too'

'Why magic though merlin, why here?' Gwaine asked coming close his feet dragging against the cold stone of the dungeon floor.

'I didn't chose my destiny, or my magic Gwaine, it was given to me, I was born like this, I am magic, like the dragons'

'Born with magic… I've never heard of that before' Gwaine replied.

'No one has, it shouldn't be possible'

'Why not?'

'Magic takes time to develop, years of dedication to understanding its force...but for me it's instinctual and ever present like the blood in my veins'

'So like a life force you could say' Gwaine said attempting to understand.

'You could say that'

Another long pause.

'You keep talking about dragons'

'Yes, a lot of my power comes from dragons being as I am a dragon lord, like my father before me'

'You've never spoken of your father before' Gwaine said. I think he was shocked he was getting so much from me. I bet I seemed like a private person to him, but it was a relief to finally tell someone.

'No, he died shortly after I met him; the only thing he gave me was his inheritance of his gift with the magical creatures that are dragons'

'I thought they were extinct, Arthur constantly brags about the time he killed one' Gwaine said I winced in reply. 'He didn't kill it did he…you sent it away?'

'Guilty' I replied 'I'm also guilty for releasing it'

Kilgharrah had killed a lot of people in his thirst for vengeance but I couldn't say I blamed him. I didn't know how I would react if every human and magical person was slaughtered, to be the last of your kind, and walk the earth forever alone without the companionship of your species seemed mind boggling to me, I couldn't imagine it and the pain Kilgharrah must have been in, is still in. Although I liked to think that his friendship and bond with me had replaced some of the loneliness he now felt. I dreamed of the day we could roam the skies together, it wasn't likely to be any time soon.

Gwaine chose not to comment on my reasons for realising him.

'If you can control him then, why not get him to come here and take those shackles of you and escape together'

'Because I won't earn Arthur's trust that way'

'No, I suppose not…I don't think he deserves it'

'He's just confused Gwaine; his best friend doesn't seem too familiar to him right now'

'How can you just shrug everything off like this?' Gwaine asked.

'Because I have bigger problems'

'Oh?'

'Morgana' I replied.

'Oh yeah, what did that bitch do to you?' Gwaine asked rudely and suddenly I felt a rush of anger and a need to defend her.

'DON'T CALL HER THAT!' I screamed at him making him stumble at the anger in my voice, I sighed. 'I'm sorry, something's happened to me'

My voice seemed small now to my ears, a deep contrast to my yelling before. I was vulnerable I realised, my feelings for morgana made me more vulnerable than ever before. I didn't know whether it was a good thing.

'What's going on Merlin?' Gwaine asked nervously choosing not to retake his place by my side.

'I love her' I said in a small voice.

'You…love…Her?' Gwaine said. I could hear his thoughts clicking it over and then he came to the conclusion.

'I thought you weren't on her side' he said his own voice rising now.

'I'm not' I replied 'I hate her, and I love her at the same time, her magic is calling to me, the very essence of her being is calling to me, I need her Gwaine, I can't live without her'

Gwaine stared at me as if I had grown two heads. I can't say I blamed him. I had all been about the change in Morgana and how she wasn't the same person but now I was devoted to her in the most personal of ways. I vowed then and there that I would bring her back to the light and wash the darkness out of her.

'What's happened Merlin?' Gwaine asked.

'I don't know, I had vision of last night events in the council rooms…I knew this would happen'

'You knew this was going to happen yet you let it happen anyway!' Gwaine thundered confused.

'Yes, seeing the future is a terrible gift Gwaine, hell it's not even _my _gift' I said.

'What do you mean?'

'Morgana is a seer Gwaine, she sees the future, but when a seer is too distressed or incapable of receiving a vision it is passed to the nearest magical person they are bonded to'

'What do you mean?' Gwaine repeated.

'I mean, that I received Morgana's vision of the events that happened because she was to upset grieving the loss of Morgause'

'What do you me…?' I cut him off.

'If you say "what do you mean" one more time so help me god'

'Sorry' He replied quickly. I let a chuckle escape my lips, even in this crisis Gwaine cheered me up.

'But if you knew this was going to happen why not change it?'

'Because changing the future is a dangerous game with evil consequences, trust me' I said, his silence said he wouldn't push the subject.

'So you knew you were going to fall in love with the witch?' He asked. I felt that same anger again.

'She's not a witch!' I thundered. Gwaine held his hands up in surrender.

'Sorry, and no I didn't, all I saw was the spell not what it would actually do

'So what has it done?' Gwaine asked.

'I'm still not sure, yet all I know is that something has changed since this morning, I can't get Morgana out of my head, my magic, my soul, my body calls for her Gwaine, its singing for her'

He must have heard the distress in my voice because he overcame his opinions and came back and placed his hand on my shoulder and I couldn't help myself, it was incredibly girly as Arthur would have said but I was craving human contact, I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed.

'I need her Gwaine'

'Don't worry mate, we'll sort this out, I'm sure Gaius will have some answers'

I hoped so, the sooner he did, the sooner I could make a plan. I couldn't do anything I realised though with these shackles on. I needed Arthur.

* * *

**Well there you go, I won't be able to update tomorrow because I have work then am celebrating the Queens jubilee with my friends! Sorry! And Tuesday I'll probably be too hung-over to be able to think! So Wednesday is looking good. Let me know what you think!**

**Is it boring? Is there not enough detail? Is it not making sense? Is my spelling and grammar shit? Please review! =]**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yep this is going to be another explanation chapter, they may be slightly boring but they have to be done guys, sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

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'Oi!' Gwaine yelled. 'GUARDS GET HELP, GET GAIUS!'

After my conversation with Gwaine things had started getting worse, the pain in my chest was getting worse and I was struggling to breathe. Sweat rolled down my face giving my kin a sickly tone and my whole body rocked with tremors, wherever Morgana was I wondered if she was feeling this too. I hoped not, my new found feelings for her made me want to protect her, to hide her from pain, although as I recalled the way the spell had hit both of us I thought it unlikely that she wasn't going through this too.

What must she think of me? She probably thought I had cast some love spell on her, and had taken away her free will and control, how she must hate me. The thought caused the pain in my body to swell, Morgana couldn't hate me she was all I had, she couldn't reject me, I wouldn't survive her hatred and rejection.

'Merlin mate, hold on I'll get Gaius' Gwaine was back by my side running a cool hand over my face he was using the meagre supply of water we had been given for lunch to run over my skin.

'He won't…be able to… do anything Gwaine' I stuttered back at him 'There's only one…thing that can…help'

'Morgana' Gwaine said, it wasn't a question he knew without a doubt from my explanations earlier that she was my only cure, my own personal antidote.

'Can't your magic help, put off the side effects for a while? He asked. I looked at him in annoyance and raised my magic binding shackles in reply.

'That bastard' he said.

'It's not his…fault Gwaine' I replied. The truth was I didn't know if my magic was able to help, I was pretty sure that nothing but Morgana would help but maybe my magic could help. I wouldn't know unless they came off. Gwaine chose not to reply to this and returned to yelling at the guards.

'Are you deaf, he needs help now!' Gwaine yelled. One of the guards finally turned to answer.

'We have been instructed by the King, to leave the prisoner where he is until the King has decided what to do with him.'

'Look, Arthur still cares about Merlin, even if right now all he can think about is killing him, just tell him he's sick really sick, and bring Gaius down here' The knight paused in reply and looked hesitantly at me like I would attack him.

'He's not going to harm Arthur those shackles of his saw to that' Again the knight paused in indecision. 'I know this screams against everything you've been taught, to go against the King is treason, but if Merlin dies, he will never forgive himself, trust me'

'Very well' the Knight said after a long pause.

'Thank you, Sir….' Gwaine trailed off expectantly.

'Hallis' the knight said in reply.

'Thank you Sir Hallis' and with that the knight turned around and went to deliver the message to Arthur. Gwaine returned to my side.

'I don't think…I'm in any…fit state…to talk to Arthur, Gwaine' I said, pain was blossoming inside my head now; it was making me sleepy and slowing my processing thoughts.

'Then I'll talk to him, until Gaius helps you or he takes those shackles off'

'There's still no…guarantee that my…magic can help' I stuttered my teeth now chattering.

'Yes but short of kidnapping Morgana and bringing her here there's not much more we can do is there?' He asked. The question was rhetorical and I shook my head in agreement.

While we waited I turned my thoughts back to Morgana. Thinking of her beautiful face seemed to help, she was so beautiful, when she was ward of Uther her beauty was famous throughout all the kingdoms, I'd heard her name even when I was in Ealdor. I heard about her before I had even met or heard of _Arthur_. The farmers used to tell tales of the seductress Morgana Le Fay, and I used to listen in awe as they described her beauty and giving nature. I was overwhelmed and slightly humbled at the fact that she could be bound to me, plain ordinary me.

It was rather unfair, neither of us had chosen each other, yes I had always been attracted to her, any sane man with a pulse would have been, but when she had betrayed us that attraction had vanished along with any lingering friendship I had for her. Now those feelings were back tenfold, I couldn't breathe without her, my every thought was spent mulling over how her skin would feel against my hand what her red lips would taste like beneath my own.

'Are you okay Merlin you look slightly better?' Gwaine interrupted my thoughts and the pain erupted again

'Thinking…about her helps' I said.

'She is a beautiful woman' Gwaine said. I nodded in reply. 'I can see the similarities between you'

'What…do you mean?'

'Arthur told me that before she went crazy, you were quite close, you both had a thing for one another, and it hit you hard that she betrayed us didn't it?'

I ignored the question and focused on what he had said before that. 'Arthur said there… was something going… on between us?'

'Yeah, you were like magnets drawn to each other, you look pretty similar too, there's something ethereal about the two of you, magical I should say, and your both powerful users of magic it's no wonder your drawn to her'

I paused to consider this, I had never noticed Morgana being attracted to me, I guess I kind of thought she wouldn't see anything in me, a peasant from Ealdor. I told Gwaine as much.

'She…didn't see anything…in me, nothing other…than mild friendship' I said.

'You don't see yourself very clearly do you?' Gwaine asked. I shrugged in reply.

We were both drawn out of our conversation by the sound off the dungeon doors flinging open to crash against the wall. Gwaine was up and looking to see who it was.

'It's Arthur and Gaius' He told me, where I stayed curled up on the floor. I wanted to get up and look at Arthur dead in the eye, but the pain in my body wouldn't let me.

'Merlin my boy what's wrong?' Gaius asked concerned. Arthur interrupted before I could reply.

'He's finally understanding what a pitiful creature he is' there was a long silence after this in which Gwaine, Gaius and myself stared at him hatefully. Gwaine rushed the bars and made to grab him.

'You know nothing of him' spit flying from his mouth in force of his anger.

'Yes, that's because he has lied to me for years' Arthur said. He didn't move his eyes from my shaking form.

'Yes because he knew you'd react like this, locking him up like the coward you are' Gwaine said. And it was Arthurs turn to reach of Gwaine, grabbing his neck through the bars.

'I am no coward'

'Could have fooled me' Gwaine replied not batting an eyelid over the fact that Arthur had his neck clasped in his hands.

'Arthur let him go, this is not helping' Gaius said. Arthur stared at Gwaine for a long moment before shoving him backwards. He fell near me, then turned and ran a hand over my sweating forehead.

'What's wrong with him?' Arthur asked.

'I'll explain he's in no fit state' Gwaine said. I nodded from where I was curled up. 'He's fallen in love with Morgana' Gwaine said simply, I sighed perhaps that was too simple.

There was a long pause from behind the other side of the bars.

'What!' Both Gaius and Arthur said at the same time.

'It's not a normal love' Gwaine said to try and defuse the situation, Arthur paid no attention to that.

'I knew he was a traitor' Arthur said then turned to me 'Aw is the poor sorcerer missing his partner in crime' we all ignored him and Gaius turned to Gwaine.

'What do you mean it's not normal?'

'Something happened in the council room, it was that spell; it's drawn them together both physically mentally and magically'

'Magically?' Arthur asked now joining the conversation confused. I took this as the moment to attempt to join in.

'My magic…its drawn to hers…its feeds of hers…without her…it hurts' I finished lamely.

'I've heard of this' Gaius said and all eyes turned to him. 'When two enemies, so interwoven in destiny fight in combat, both their magic can , it is said, seek to bring them together to stop a future of intense pain and violence'

'So your saying, Morgana and Merlin's future would have been a violent one so their magic prevented it?' Gwaine asked.

'Yes, let's not forget Merlin and Morgana are similar creatures, both have powerful magic, they both carry secrets, and they were once very close, destiny drove them apart to violence and a future of war, and there magic being so similar sought to prevent it'

'So…it's like my magic and hers…sought to bring about peace?' I asked confused.

'Yes, the phenomena is rare, and exceedingly dangerous'

'Why?' Arthur asked.

'Because it binds the two people together, they become each other's soul mates, one cannot live without the other and separation is unbearable, they become each other's greatest strength and weakness, Gwaine is right it is not a normal relationship'

'Is there a name for it?' Gwaine asked.

'Magic Mates it was often referred to, one step further than soul mates' Gaius said.

'It hurts...Gaius…I need her' I said pitifully.

Gaius turned to Arthur then.

'Take the shackles off him' Gaius said.

'I think not, we still haven't discussed the fact that he's a dangerous sorcerer who wants to go running off with another dangerous sorcerer, who's down right evil' Arthur said.

'I can… change her…I can bring her back…I know I can' I said confidently.

The whole situation was mind boggling. Magic mates, it did have a certain ring to it I supposed. But there was still the underlying fact that we didn't choose this. Gaius seemed to agree.

'I doubt Morgana will look too kindly to having her free will taken away' Gaius said.

'Maybe they did choose it' Gwaine said and we all stared at him stupidly. 'Both of your magic is a part of you and you both wanted peace, you both want magic to come back to this land plus Arthur said you were once attracted to each other, maybe you both did, deep down want this'

I blushed at the mention of our previous attraction but considered his words. My magic was a part of me, I had always said that. It was logical to think that it had acted in our best interest. I sighed I was so confused.

'Whether they choose this or not doesn't matter, it cannot be undone, and you will die Merlin if you do not see her' Gaius said.

'Die?' Arthur asked, now sounding a lot less confident.

'Yes and with him so will Morgana' Gaius said.

'And I don't think that's a good way with dealing with her' Gwaine said. 'Arthur you need to take those shackles off, Merlin is not at his full strength; with his magic he might be able to halt the process'

'If you think I'm going to let him run free, with that kind of power you are very much mistaken' Arthur said.

'Please Arthur' I said. 'If it works I'll explain… everything to you, I promise… I won't seek her… out until I've told… you everything'

'You promise?' Arthur asked.

'I Promise, I live to… serve you Arthur my magic is yours… to command, I would never… hurt you or Camelot intentionally'

'You won't lie?'

'I'll tell you anything… you want to know' I said 'It's not fair Arthur, I am magic… magic is me, how would you… like it If I could off your hands… and you could never use a sword again?'

'Are you threatening me?' Arthur asked.

'Of course not… I'm just trying… to get you to understand' I said.

He stared at my shaking form and then slowly nodded he brought the keys out from his belt and undid the door to mine and Gwaine cell and slowly approached me.

'Jesus Merlin, you're Ice cold' I smiled he sounded like the Arthur I loved and followed again.

'I'm not…feeling too great' I agreed. He smiled sadly in reply then reached for my wrists and undid the magical shackles.

A rush of feeling came swirling back to me, it was like a water pipe exploding, my magic rushed through my veins searching for a way to relieve my pain, eager to do its masters will. It didn't completely eradicate the pain but it reduced it to a manageable amount like before. I knew it would not be long before it swelled up again. I breathed a sigh of relief. Gaius was by my side too, checking my reactions and pulse.

'Better?' he asked.

'Yes, but it won't be long till it gets worse again, and then my magic won't help'

'Let's get you cleaned up and take this somewhere else shall we my boy' He replied.

'I don't want him out of my sight' Arthur said.

'Very well, but I'm going to get him changed into some fresh clothes and cool him down and then you can talk' Gaius said.

'I'm coming with you,' Arthur said.

'Me too' Gwaine joined in.

* * *

About twenty minutes later we were back in the council room, it was an open space I didn't think Arthur wanted to be in an enclosed room with me. Gwaine and Gaius were there and Gwen too, I think Arthur didn't want to have to repeat this conversation again when she came asking. He was staring at me again, eyeing me from across the table. I forced Morgana from my mind and turned my full attention on him.

'What do you want to know?' I asked.

'Why magic, why now?' he asked all traces of emotion gone.

'I was born like this' I said recalling with a sense of Deja Vu the very first conversation I had had with Gaius after I had saved his life. 'I could do magic before I could talk' I heard Gwen gasp in reply, and stare at me with startled eyes.

'What does that make you then? Arthur asked.

'Abnormal' I joked. 'No, I'm a warlock'

'Never heard of one' Arthur said his eyes narrowing suspiciously

'That's because I'm the only one left, your father burned all of my kind' I watched in satisfaction as his eyes lowered in shame.

'So you've done nothing bad with your magic then?' Arthur asked turning it back on me.

'Nothing I've ever done unless I've had to' I said.

We stared at each other from across the table eyes on each other. I had never felt so powerful before, for once in my life me and Arthur were on equal footing, it was like we were playing a battle of wits and I wouldn't break first.

'Like what?' Arthur asked.

'Ah but I'm not stupid enough to give you something to hate me for' I said.

'So there are some things I could hate you for?' Arthur asked triumphantly guessing there was things I was hiding.

'I knew about Morgana' I said and my bluntness stopped him dead, everyone turned to look at me even Gaius looked surprised at my admittance.

'Me and Gaius new long ago she was turning, changing, I tried to help her I tried to turn her good, I failed' I said.

'You knew she had magic and you didn't tell me?' Arthur screamed at me.

'You wouldn't have believed me Arthur, me a lowly servant over someone you loved like a sister, the kings ward no less, don't be thick' I said. 'In the end it all comes down to rank and mine was lower than hers and lower than you'

'Don't be ridiculous' but I could tell my point had cut him deep, he changed the subject. 'Anything else?'

'I poisoned her' I said and Gwen gasped.

'You tried to kill her?' she asked.

'Of course, I was reliably informed that she was the source of the magic when Morgause attacked with the knights of Medhir, it was her or all of us' I said coldly keeping from all of them the anguish I felt over that situation, I would tell no one my grief of that decision except Morgana, I could have no secrets from my Magic Mate.

'That was ages ago' Arthur said bewildered.

'Yes, Morgana has been your enemy far longer than you think Arthur' I said

'Who was your informer?' Arthur asked

'Someone wiser than you' I said.

'Well that's not difficult' Gwaine butted in, and I laughed, it was fun ganging up on Arthur and his lack of knowledge even if it was a lowly thing to do. Arthur ignored both of us.

'Who Merlin?' When I didn't reply he got mad and asked again 'you promised me you'd tell me everything'

'His name is Kilgharrah' I said.

'Who's that?' he asked.

'That's the wrong question to ask' I laughed.

'Merlin' Gaius warned.

'You should ask _what_ he is' I said again loving the torment he was getting, I had to wonder if this bond with Morgana was doing more to my attitude, I found myself being more spiteful than before. I sighed, it wasn't me, If I was truthful I was damn right scared, I valued my friendship with Arthur and I didn't want to lose it.

'He's the great dragon' I said.

'You set that thing free?' Arthur thundered standing.

'Of course' I said calmly staring him straight in the ye

'How can you be calm about this you killed innocent people by letting him free, he's a monster!' He screamed at me and I instantly lost my cool and suddenly I was standing too, at my full height my eyes glowing gold faintly as my magic rushed to cure my anger.

'DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM THAT!' I thundered at him, I was shocked when Arthur actually shrank back into his chair and looked at me with fear; it was like he had no idea who I was, it was something I'd never wanted. I didn't want to be feared just accepted.

I stormed away from the table and began to pace.

'How would you feel, if you were alone Arthur, no humans left in the world? To have to walk this earth with no companions, no people to share yourself with, no one to save your race from extinction with. If you had to watch the entire human race be murdered before your eyes, and find you didn't even get the comfort of going with them, but instead you were imprisoned and set to stew in your own misery for years your anger growing daily. Wouldn't you turn just a little bit, not even slightly?' I was crying now freely, Kilgharrah was my brother the only creature like me, born of magic; he was my link to the old religion and my closest friend, closer than Arthur, and Gwaine even Gaius.

'I'm sorry' Arthur said.

'He is my dragon, I am his dragon Lord, and we are connected through our bond and our respect for each other he is my closest friend and my family and my kin, the only creature in this world that is like me' I said.

'You're a dragon Lord?' Arthur asked.

'Yes Balinor was my father, he died and you told me to not waste any of my tears on him' I said my tears running freely now and without shame.

'Arthur!' Gwen said shocked.

'I didn't know!' Arthur said in defence.

'No because if you did, Uther would have had me executed'

'I wouldn't have told him Merlin' Arthur said and I stared at him trying to see if what he said was true.

'Maybe not, but how could I ask my friend to choose between me and his duty to his father?' I asked.

'Then I thank you for not putting me in that position' Arthur said.

'I've saved your life many times Arthur but for most of those times you don't have to thank me, its Kilgharrah you need to thank without his knowledge you wouldn't be standing, and yet you drove a spear through his shoulder in thanks'

'Merlin, I don't know this dragon, and all I can think of is that he murdered a lot of people, maybe he was blinded by despair and vengeance but does that really make it okay?' Arthur asked.

'I forgave him, in a world were magic is outlawed, his quest for vengeance and a need for understanding was easy to understand, I guess I'm one of the few who does understand him and him me'

'I can see he means a lot to you and I'm gathering I didn't kill him?' I shook my head in reply.

'Then we'll just have to agree to disagree on him' he said.

'Fair enough'

'Anything else I should know?' he asked, I debated then, should I tell him about the prophecy or not? But I had promised I would tell him everything.

'You are destined to become the greatest king the world will ever know, you will unite the lands of Albion and bring magic back to this kingdom, you are the Once And Future King'

'That's sounds very grand' Arthur said after a long pause 'How do you know this?'

'Kilgharrah told me, it's an ancient prophecy by the druids,'

'What's this got to do with you?' Arthur asked now confused.

'You will need help along the way, without the warlock Emrys you will fail, and Albion will fall and the world will be thrown to chaos' I said.

'Who's Emrys?' he asked stupidly.

'He is Princess' Gwaine said.

'That is what the druids call me' I said.

'What does it mean?' Gwen asked and I considered her question, I had no idea what Emrys meant nor what the significance of the title stood for, my destiny had changed with this new connection to Morgana, I wondered if it would still apply.

'I don't know' I said honestly 'But I am destined to become the most powerful wielder of magic Albion will ever know'

I paused, why they took this in. Gaius looked proud, Gwen confused and Gwaine beamed in reply but Arthur looked afraid again, and I hated it.

'Don't fear me Arthur I live to serve you, my magic is your magic' I said.

'You're destined to become some powerful warlock yet you've lowered yourself to work as my servant?' Arthur asked confused.

'A job is a job, servants, most of them are good people, why do you people assume that all magic wielders want power and titles, riches and jewels…we want peace, and freedom that your father took away from us' I said.

'Then there are none who would use their magic for bad then?' He asked raising his eyebrows at me expectantly.

'Of course there is, look at Morgause, look at Morgana, but there are people. Normal people who use their power to gain dominion over others, your father was one and there are plenty others, why should us magic wielders be any different?' Merlin asked.

'I understand where you're coming from Merlin, but this will take time, I can't just overturn the law of magic in a night and expect everything to be okay'

'I'm not asking you to, for now I just want your acceptance' I said.

'You have it, I'm sorry for putting those shackles on you' Arthur said.

'I forgive you' I said. I wasn't the only one crying now, Gwen was sniffing and wiping her eyes on a handkerchief and I smiled at her.

'And all is right with the world again' Gwaine said.

'Not quite' I said my thoughts once again turning back to Morgana.

'What are you going to do?' Arthur asked.

'What I have to do, I'm going to do some research and then I'm going to bring her here to sort this out, unless she already turns up'

'You think she will?' Gwaine asked.

'She's feeling what I'm feeling and her magic isn't as strong as mine to hold it back, one of us will have to give eventually' I said.

'Well we had best get cracking then' Arthur said and I looked at him confused.

'Were going to help, I may not be an expert in magic but this is effecting you badly and your relationship with Morgana could help change the situation and bring about peace, plus if I'm going to bring back magic someday I might as well start learning about what it is I'll eventually be bringing back'

I beamed at him in reply. There was my king, the man I would die for, the Once and Future King.

'I'll go bring up some books, here is as good a place as any' Gaius said.

'I'll help' I said.

'No, Merlin sit, we don't want you exerting yourself you'll soon start feeling bad again' Gwaine reminded me.

That was true the pain in my chest was steadily getting worse. I wondered how Morgana was faring, thoughts of her made my brain ache, I wanted her, yet I was dreading our inevitable meeting, there would be some big conversations ahead, but hopefully everything would sort itself out. Besides being bonded with the most beautiful girl in the world couldn't be such a bad thing, could it?

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**Long chapter again! Sorry might have been rather boring tried to make it as interesting as possible! Next: Morgana comes back and we have an epic reunion on our hands, maybe a hint of romance too =] Let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

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'Magic Mates' Arthur read. 'A rare form of potent magic that binds two magical adversaries together, to create peace. The magic creates a strong attachment which brings the two people together, binding them physically, mentally and magically'

I sighed we had been at this now for hours, reading everything we could about the bond that was now between me and Morgana, I was surprised at the willingness of Arthur to help, of all of them, somewhere through the night the rest of the round table knights, Percival, Leon, and Elyan had turned up and I had had to explain the whole situation all over again. But at least I was happy that finally everything was out in the open, and they weren't mocking me, on the other hand they seemed extremely sympathetic.

'Tell me something I don't know' I said.

'How about this?' Gwen said. 'When the bond grows and the two adversaries reach a common ground the two people can receive empathic gifts as to how the other is feeling'

'So you're saying that I'll be able to feel her emotions?' I asked.

'Seems so'

'I don't think Merlin wants to be feeling evil and hatred towards any of us' Gwaine said.

'She's not evil' I said back at him, although I knew that part of her was revelling in hatred and anger I also had to believe that deep down the Morgana we all knew and loved was in there.

'Forgive us if we don't agree Merlin' Leon said.

'I can bring her back I know I can' I said.

'And what if you can't?' Leon asked again.

'What do you mean? I asked.

'Well what happens if she doesn't see things our way, you're going to be bonded to an evil sorceress for the rest of your life, and you're not going to be able to do anything' Leon said.

'And we can't do anything about it either' Elyan joined in.

'What do you mean?'

'Well it says that, Magic Mates have a strong urge to protect, how are we going to stop her when we have the most powerful Warlock ever against us' Elyan said.

'Exactly' Leon said.

I stared at all of them even Arthur was looking at me as if I could be a potential enemy. I was bonded to Morgana I could feel it in my entire body, but I wouldn't join her side because of that bond as I'm sure she wouldn't join ours either. No we had to talk, alone with no one to influence us until we found common ground. I was so looking forward to the point when we did, well if we did I should say.

'Do you think that just because I'm bonded to her I'm going to become her?' I asked, 'Do you really think so low of me?' I took pleasure in the fact that they all looked fully chastened.

'Of course not Merlin' Gaius said.

I stared at the rest of them, Arthur had lowered his eyes but the rest of them except Gwaine who was glaring at them, all still looked doubtful it frustrated me to no limits.

'My destiny, my sole purpose in life is to serve Arthur and to help bring about peace, if you think that's going to change because of my new feelings for Morgana which I didn't ask for by the way, well then you don't know me very well'

'Well no we don't know you very well do we Merlin, you've kept a lot of things from us' Arthur said.

I could tell as soon as he had said it he regretted it but I couldn't forgive him for that one so easily. I had given my life to Arthur, my magic belonged to him, it was his to command, I would do anything to keep him safe and happy, hell I loved him like my brother and it broke me to hear those words. I thought we had talked this through.

'How dare you?' I whispered to him in a quiet voice, 'You have no idea what I've gone through for you Arthur, what I'm still going through, how dare you question me' I stood up sharply out my seat and made towards the door.

'Merlin, I'm sorry I didn't mean it' Arthur said.

'Oh but you did Arthur you don't trust me, and my new found feelings for Morgana are making it even worse, admit it' I said turning back to him.

'Well forgive me for being doubtful Merlin, from what these books are describing you can't live without her, you'll die without her, so how are you going to sort this out?' Arthur said.

'I DON'T KNOW!' I was yelling again but I couldn't help it, and with my loss of control and my stress levels rising the pain from my separation with Morgana began to increase again.

It filled my body and rose to my head swirling my thoughts. Before I hadn't had my magic to feel its reaction but now I could feel its confusion it's want to help, but not finding any spell that could help. Only Morgana could help, it was a throbbing ache that just kept building like a muscle cramp only ten times worse. I fell to my knees gasping for breath Gwaine was instantly by my side.

'Merlin mate, are you okay?' I shook my head in response. He turned to Arthur in anger 'look at what you've done; you've made him loose focus!'

Arthur was by my side now brushing my hair back with a cooling hand and Gaius was dishing out instructions.

'Gwen go get some cold water and some cloths' Gaius said and watched as she hastened to obey.

'Can anything be done?' Arthur asked, he was sitting behind me now his arms around me supporting me as I shook in his arms, if I wasn't so weak I would have mocked him about this girly pose, but refrained. Arthur cared about me, he was just scared, we all were.

'I'm sorry Merlin, I'm just nervous' Arthur said trying to soothe me with a rocking motion.

'Don't worry…about it' I said stuttering again. 'I…forgive…you'

'He's entirely to forgiving if you ask me' Gwaine said, and the rest of the knights laughed. Gwen returned with water and helped to bathe my forehead.

'Gaius?' Arthur asked.

'Morgan is the only cure' he responded.

'Do you think she'll come?' Arthur asked.

'She'll feel the… need, but she… might be in…. no state to teleport' I said.

'Well we'll have to bring her kicking and screaming to you' Arthur said and went to move.

At that exact moment I felt her, she was in pain so much pain like me, I felt a rush of desire and longing along with betrayal and frustration. She was coming; she had managed to teleport, even now in the midst of a spell my magic called to hers.

'She's here!' I said.

'Guards!' Arthur yelled and guards burst into the room preparing for an attack.

'No…you'll scare her' I said. But before he could respond she exploded into the room in a cloud of wind.

My eyes found hers as she fell to the floor in pain, her pain brought me to action and I was on my feet running towards her. Her appearance startled me she had never looked wilder and feral, her eyes were roaming backwards and forwards from the knights to me, but always back to me i noticed with pleasure.

I reached for her with open arms but watched in dismay from her place on the floor as she pushed back from me. Her beautiful green eyes wanted nothing more than to leap into my arms but her nature and emotions were screaming that I was the enemy.

'Morgana?' I whispered.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?' She screamed her voice hoarse with pain and desperation.

'Nothing' I said in a claiming voice desperate to have her in my arms 'no one is going to hurt you I feel this connection as well as you, let me help'

She stared at me for the longest time my heart aching before a cry of anger had her up and running. She collided with me and a rush of energy filled me, it was like lightening, strong and sharp flooding my senses allowing me to breathe. An overwhelming feeling of relief filled me. I was touching her, the pain was residing and we slid to the floor in each other's arms in relief. I noticed she was shaking and pounding her fists onto my chest and then wincing as she hurt me.

'What have you done to me?' she repeated now in a quieter voice.

I slid my arms around her blocking her punches and gently began to rock her, with one hand I stroked her hair and I nestled my face into her neck loving her scent. She kept repeating the same words over and over again at me, gradually getting quieter as I rocked her into a steady calmness.

Guards stepped forward as if to help with her and I snapped at them, angry that they were going to try and take her from me before I had even talked to her.

'GET AWAY FROM HER!' and my magic responded creating a thin harmless shield to flash up between us.

I turned my attention back to her, always back to her and started stroking her hair again.

'I'll explain everything to you I promise, but you're exhausted we both are, and the guards and Arthur won't rest till we've sorted this out'

She had no response and just clung to me crying softly repeating the same words as her flesh sort mine.

'Morgana?' I said forcing her chin up to look me in the eyes 'trust me let me help' she stared at me for the longest time and then with a sigh nodded.

'Swefe nu' I whispered lovingly and gently kissed her forehead as he eyes closed in sleep. I sighed and rested my head on top of hers letting her warmth and closeness give me energy, her magic too was rejoicing with mine to I could feel it like they were long lost friends who had missed each other.

I turned to look back at my friends, tears now coursing down my face as I begged them to understand that I couldn't help this. Arthur stepped forwards and I couldn't help it, I tensed and my shield brightened. He held up his hands placating.

'I'm not going to take her from you Merlin, or put her in the dungeons I just want to check if you're okay' It was the most soothing I had ever heard his voice and it calmed me and I let down my shield.

He and Gaius came towards me then, Gaius checked both Morgana and mines condition although I wouldn't let her out of my arms and Arthur just studied my face.

'I need to talk to her alone' I said.

'What about her old chambers?' Arthur asked 'there unused and no one goes there any more' Arthur said and I nodded, it was a good plan, I lightened her weight with magic and then lifted her into my arms, Arthur looked impressed.

'Magic,' I said.

'Ah'

'I think someone should come with you' Arthur said.

'No' I snapped. 'I'm not going to start planning your destruction Arthur' I said.

'I know, it's just I'm not sure it would be proper' I almost laughed he was worried about image, class and gossip at a time like this.

'There's nothing proper about this relationship Arthur' I said raising my eyebrows.

'Maybe I should come Merlin' Gwen said and I turned to look at her.

'She's needs changing and washing I'm sure it will help having me around, seeing as I'm used to it' Gwen said and my love for her shot up, Morgana had done so much wrong to her but her kindness wouldn't let her ignore someone in need.

I nodded in response 'then you leave us' I said and she nodded in reply. 'Let's go then.'

* * *

I carried her all the way to her old chambers thanking god for magic; they were on the other side of the castle! I rested her on the bed as Gwen went to till the bath. I studied her face, her skin was pale and sickly she had been suffering too, probably cursing my very name. I shuddered. Her hair which I had loved so much was matted and dirt clung to its once shiny lengths.

Gwen finished the bath and helped me undress her, she had tried to protest at my help but I ignored her and kept my eyes on her face. It's not like I was going to start lusting over her when she was unconscious and emotional and hating me, I mean what kind of man did she think I was. I told her as much, and watched as she blushed in reply.

Once she was undressed I lifted her with magic into the bath, I supported her head above the water whilst Gwen rinsed her body. I took a comb and lovingly began work through the tangles of her hair, restoring it to its former glory; I caught Gwen looking at me.

'What?' I asked.

'I'm jealous' she said

'Of what' I said incredulous.

'The bond, you love her so completely' it wasn't a question

'I will never see another girl in the same light, I thought you pretty once Gwen, now your just a face I'm friends with'

'Makes me wonder' she said and I turned to stare at her now.

'About?'

'If Arthur's the one' Gwen said and I raised my eyebrows in shock

'Lancelot?' I asked wondering if she still had feelings for the dead knight.

'I loved both of them Merlin, but how is that true love, true love should encompass your whole body and mind like yours does' she said her eyes turning back towards Morgana.

'But you do love Arthur Gwen, I've seen it'

'Yes but I still look at other guys and think there handsome just as I'm sure he will look at other's Gwen said.

'That's normal Gwen' I replied 'everyone has hormones they can't control, there's nothing wrong with appreciating someone else'

'No but I loved Lancelot Merlin, I don't know what I would have done had he been alive now' Gwen said. 'I can't help but think that neither of them were or are my soul mates….did you believe in soul mates Merlin, even before all of this?'

I paused to consider gently rubbing soap through Morgana's her.

'Yes' I replied 'And I think your right that Arthur's not your soul mate Gwen but your soul mate could be on the other side of the world, he could be dead, do you really want to wait around when he probably won't show, that's pretty lonely existence Gwen. Especially when Arthur is there, someone you do love, how many couples do you know that you could put the label soul mates on?'

'I know, but looking at you and Morgana… I can't help but wish'

'Don't wish for this Gwen, this between me and her isn't normal or something I can control, she makes me weak and strong and she is bonded to me so completely…it's not normal and I wouldn't wish it on anybody'

'No?' she asked.

'Imagine you were forced into an arranged marriage Gwen that you were completely against and then fell in love with them, it would be like you didn't get to choose, like all your options were taken away, now magnify that by about ten and that's what you get'

'I suppose I'm just being selfish' Gwen said and I smiled pleased she was coming round.

'Everyone's selfish every once in a while Gwen' I said.

We finished washing Morgana and then I lifted her out of the bath with magic and let Gwen dry her and dress her in one of her old nightgowns, seeing her in her previous clothes brought a smile to my face. Her hair was clean, long and shining and her skin had a healthy tone she looked like the Morgana I once knew.

'I'll leave you alone, call me if you need anything' Gwen said and left the room, my eyes never moving from her sleeping form.

I couldn't help myself I climbed onto the bed with her despite her being asleep and laid next to her taking her hand in mine. I knew the coming conversations would be rough but I allowed myself to relax for one minute as I took in the feel of her skin on mine. My eyes closed and I allowed myself to fall asleep my thoughts on her as always.

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**Look at the time 3:00 am, that's how long this has took me and I've got work tomorrow that's how dedicated I am. So you had best review! Please! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own merlin or any of its characters.**

**This is going to be the last update for a while guys my A level exams are kicking off so will probably be a week or two until I update again. So enjoy!**

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I had never slept so deeply, Morgana's presence by my side gave me comfort and serenity. Sometime in the middle of the night she had rolled into my side seeking warmth, I was slightly embarrassed it was a rather intimate position when we hadn't talked or sorted anything out, however I didn't push her away, I pulled her closer and buried my head in the hair I loved so much. Her face had lost its gaunt look and some colour had come back into her porcelain cheeks, I smiled she was perfect like this. Like this I didn't have to deal with the fury which I'm sure would come my way soon.

I tried not to think about how perfect her body felt curled into mine though it was hard not to. She was soft and smooth in all the right places which made my blood rush. I pushed those thoughts away, it was wrong to think of her like that now, when we had so much to talk about still.

Morning light began to spill into her chambers and onto the bed making her skin glow in the morning light. I looked around her chambers and smiled in fond memory, I remembered the time when I had first met her and she thought I was Gwen. I remembered when we had hid the druid boy Mordred and her connection with him. That still worried me, part of her had had some motherly instinct for him and destiny said a strong alliance would form between the pair that would eventually bring about Arthur's death. I wouldn't let that happen, no matter how bound to her I was.

I felt her shift in sleep and turned to look at her, she would be waking up soon and I mentally began to prepare myself for all the questions she was bound to have. However she shifted again and a soft moan of pain came from her, she twisted away from me and I sat up to study her. Her face which had been peaceful was twisted into a frown of pain, sweat began to form on her brow and I jumped up to fetch a cloth.

'_Gaius!' _I used mind speech to call my mentor for help.

Something was wrong, a strangled groan escaped her and her hands clenched the bed sheets. Gaius hadn't replied I knew he didn't have the power to anymore but I knew he would have heard and would be on his way. I walked back over to her and ran the cloth over her brow, she shouldn't be having any more pain, I was here next to her, I gripped her hand with mine hoping to soothe her but it didn't help it was like she didn't know I was there.

She started screaming and I cursed the guards and Arthur, they probably thought I was killing her, as if in on queue Arthur and Gaius and the rest of the round table burst into the room and my protective instinct blurred into life. My eyes flashed gold and a shield came up.

'Merlin what the hell is going on?' Arthur asked his face looking at Morgana's stricken face.

'Keep away from her' I said my golden eyes warning them.

'Merlin' Gaius said steeping forward towards my shield 'She's having a nightmare, a vision like she used to, I've seen them before, just call her out of it'

'I tried' I said pitifully staring at her pain filled face needing to help her. I turned back towards her and joined her on the bed.

I brushed her hair out of her face as she began to convulse, I gripped her shoulders and shook her lightly.

'Morgana' I called 'You're having a nightmare my love it's okay I'm here' she gave no sign of hearing me and her shaking got worse. I turned to Gaius in despair.

'What do I do?' I asked panic gripping my voice.

'She'll come out of it on her own eventually Merlin as soon as the vision clears.' Gaius said.

'Why am I not getting her vision though, like before, she shouldn't be going through this?' I said

'She was obviously feeling a lot better in your company Merlin' Gaius said.

My shield was still up and glowing faintly and I glared at the others as they stared at Morgana in confusion and fear. They shouldn't be here; this was a private part of her magic that they shouldn't be witnessing. Her visions were intensely personal and her own, no one but Gaius and myself should be here and there staring was getting on my nerves. My shield crackled in response.

'Get out!' I said to them

'Merlin, mate maybe you shouldn't be near her when she's like this' Gwaine said.

'You have no idea what seeing the future is like, it is heart breaking and intensely frustrating, they are very personal to her and I know what it's like, so everyone but Gaius get out now!'

'Merlin, you don't know what she saw, it might be useful' Arthur said, and my anger flared.

'So she's just a tool for you to use, you don't trust her yet if her magic can do something useful you'll be happy to exploit her' I thundered at him, my shield was crackling now.

'Merlin she's…'

'GET OUT!' and with that my shield expanded and grasped him and the others and threw them out the room I wasn't even bothered to see if they were okay I turned back to Morgana, and I saw her green eyes staring at me.

'Morgana,' I whispered and made to go toward her but she back away up to the head board of the bed afraid. I turned to Gaius instead.

He walked forwards and she allowed him near her, 'I'm just checking you're okay my dear that was a pretty bad vision'

He proceeded to check her over however she never took her eyes away from me, they were cold and distant and I got nothing from them, which was exceedingly frustrating.

'Let me know if I can get you anything' Gaius said and Morgana turned her eyes to him.

'Why are you being so nice to me?' she asked, I thrilled to hear her voice, it was the first time since last night and I was pleased to notice to wasn't mocking or sarcastic she seemed genuinely confused.

'I'm sure Merlin will explain everything to you my dear' she patted her head in a fatherly manner then gripped my shoulder nodded at me then made his way out the door.

'What did you do?' She asked not moving from her place at the top of the bed.

'What do you mean?' I asked my voice hoarse every instinct was screaming at me to hold her comfort her and protect her from the world.

'You hurt Arthur' she said her eyes searching mine.

'Oh' I said and lowered mine in shame 'Yes I suppose I did, you were having a vision, they shouldn't have been here and they were staring at you and he said he wanted to know what you saw, I got mad'

'_You_ got mad at Arthur?' Morgana said incredulously and I smiled at her teasing tone.

'It wouldn't be the first time I promise you' I said. I took a step forward but her eyes flashed in warning.

'I won't hurt you Morgana' I said.

'Is that what you told my sister before you killed her' I flinched in response.

'She was trying to destroy Camelot and everything I hold dear, I couldn't let that happen' I said.

'We were doing it for you!' she thundered and I stared at her in confusion 'For all of our kind, he wants to persecute us and yet you protect him, you're a traitor to your kind Merlin' She said.

'No!' I said angry now 'You're the traitor Morgana, you betrayed our kind when you made your pact with Morgause'

'Don't talk about her!' She screamed standing now 'You have no right!'

'I didn't know your sister Morgana but she tried to destroy everything I held dear, I'm sorry but it had to be done' I said.

'Like you had to get rid of me!' she screamed then in a much smaller voice 'you poisoned me Merlin, I was you're friend'

'I didn't want to' I said and tears began to trickling down my cheek, I needed her forgiveness for this because deep down I knew I had done wrong and I would only ever admit it to her.

'You were the source of the magic that was making us fall asleep, I was told you had to be killed' I said sinking to my knees hoping her superior position would make her see how sorry I was.

'I still loved you all then Merlin I was confused and I so wanted to be accepted, you should have told me, I would have told Morgause to stop' Morgana said her calm voice was killing me as I realised the extent at what I had done, it was my fault she had turned it was my fault we lost her.

'I know and I'm sorry but I thought it was the only chance, I didn't want to lose my destiny' I said.

'You're destiny?' Morgana asked confused.

'Did Morgause teach you anything about the druid prophecies?' I asked.

'No, my education was purely magic 101, nothing extensive just what I needed to survive' She said.

'Then why did you react with fear when I told you I was Emrys?' I asked and watched as she flinched at the name.

'When I summoned the Doracha, the Callieach told me that Emrys would be my doom' she said her eyes lowered now.

'I see' I said remembering the woman that had caused me to faint in the celebrations.

'Are you my doom merlin?' she asked.

'Not anymore I'm not' I said vaguely but she seemed to know what I was talking about.

'What have you done to me?' she asked anger in her voice now 'I'm feeling things for you I never have before and it's scaring me, you have no right to control me like this and I demand you set me free' she said.

'Morgana I can't do that' I said.

'You will' She said hatred coursing through her voice now.

'I can't because I'm feeling what you're feeling too Morgana, I haven't cast any spell' I looked into her eyes and then proceeded to tell her everything about Magic Mates that I had learnt.

'So were bonded to each other forever?' she asked.

'From what I gather' I said.

'But that's not fair, why would my magic do that to me?' she asked.

'Because like mine it wants peace, we both want magic back in this kingdom we both want to be free, but our different ways of achieving this have just caused the phenomenon to happen' I said.

'There's no way to break it?' she asked.

'No, but if there was, would you really want to?' I asked her staring into her eyes now, they stared back, she was confused and feeling helpless I could see that.

'I don't know, we didn't exactly choose this Merlin' she said and sat on the bed again her back to me, I moved to join her pleased when she didn't move away.

'Maybe we did' I said

'What do you mean?' She asked staring at me, I noticed her body had shifted towards mine and mine towards her. We were like magnets and would be forever drawn to each other; it would be both a blessing and a curse. Most people dreamed of finding love but ours would never be normal, it would be intense and strong for the rest of our lives and I didn't think anyone would know how to react to a relationship as powerful as ours.

'We were always drawn to each other Morgana, even before all this remember' I said recalling all the times we had helped each other or been caught staring. She smiled in response.

'Yes, I remember but that was just innocent attraction nothing like this Merlin' Morgana said.

'Maybe if circumstances had been right it would have grown' I told her.

'Yes, but never into this, this isn't normal Merlin' She said staring at me now.

'I agree it's not but it is the hand fate has dealt us, I suppose anything has to beat fighting and violence' I said then flinched as anger coursed through her again and she shifted away from me.

'This doesn't solve everything Merlin, I still hate everything about this place, and I hate Arthur and so help me I want to hate you too' Morgana said.

'I know, it's going to take a lot of time, and I know how you're feeling' I said.

'No you don't' Morgana said spitefully.

'You think I don't I know how it feels to have to hide a part of yourself, I know how it feels to long for freedom and power, I know the power of corruption and the want to show the world exactly who you are and what you can be, but killing people isn't the answer, it makes you just as bad as Uther' I said.

Her eyes flashed in response to that name 'I lost someone Merlin'

'So have I Morgana, I've been doing this a lot longer than you, I lost my best friend, I lost a girl I loved, I lost my father, and then I lost you, so don't talk to me about losing someone Morgana' she stared at me.

'You're father?' she asked.

'Yes, he was a dragon lord Uther hunted a tore away from my mother. He died and gave his power to me, I sent the dragon away, so don't say I don't know what it's like I hated Uther to but no at the extent that I want to kill everyone associated with him.'

'I heard about the dragon escaping but I was with Morgause at the time' Morgana said ignoring the part I had said about Uther, 'you killed it?'

'No he is a dear friend and my kin, he has guided me through all my time here in Camelot, the only thing I hold against him is his hatred for you…he told me to kill you' I said.

'And you did as you were told like a good dog' Morgana said sarcastically.

'I did what destiny intended for me to do' I said in response 'it was wrong and I regret it, but Kilgharrah was just telling me to do what destiny wanted me to do' I said.

'You can't let destiny run your life Merlin, it will destroy you' Morgana said.

'But it was running yours too Morgana, until we became Magic Mates you were destined to become my greatest foe and you were doing brilliantly at becoming it' I said.

She paused for the longest time and then turned away from me and moved toward the window to stare outside knowing that I had won.

'You loved a girl?' she asked jealously picking up on something else I had said.

'Loved…' I paused 'I suppose I did, but it wasn't a deep love, I merely felt sorry for her and wanted to help her, she was kind and good and magical and didn't deserve her fate'

'I see' she said

'It's nothing to what I feel now' I said.

'Yes, but this isn't normal is it' she said then sighed 'I don't like anyone telling me what to do Merlin, I want to be free and this connection between us is stopping that' I felt a sting of rejection against me, I couldn't lose her.

'I would never imprison you at my side Morgana' I said.

'Well I have no choice, I can't do what I want to do because, if I leave you I'll die along with you too' she said then turned back to stare at me.

'Then what is it you want to do Morgana?' I asked her, I couldn't stop my eyes from looking down her body taking in her curves and the way the nightdress clung to her skin. She was very beautiful and she was mine.

'I want to burn this place to the ground for me and every one of my kind' she said.

'Again that would make you Uther's daughter through and through' I said I almost laughed as I watched her stamp her foot in frustration.

'What else can I do?'

'You can trust in me and Arthur, he will bring magic back to this kingdom, it his destiny' I said.

'You said our destiny was to be enemies, but that seems to have changed' she pointed out.

'I trust Arthur, he is the once and future king who will unite the lands of Albion and bring peace and acceptance and I am Emrys who will guide and save him no matter the cost' I said.

I watched as she stared at me in awe 'I never would have thought it was you Merlin'

'Why? Do I not look the part' I asked smiling.

'No you do, you look very magical with your high cheekbones and eyes I could lose myself in, your very ethereal looking Merlin. You ooze power, it's just you have such a kind nature, you're a lover Merlin, I couldn't see you killing' She said. I was flattered that she looked upon me that way, I was pleased she liked me just the same as I did her.

'I will do anything for Arthur and now I will do anything for you but until Arthur's destiny is complete he will always come first even if that means killing anyone in his way.'

'I don't know what to think'

'Well, we have all the time in the world, stay and get to know me maybe then you won't be so against this connection between us' I said.

'Are you not against it?' She asked.

'In a way I suppose but I can't be mad at fate giving me the most beautiful girl in the world can I?' I said and winked at her, I smiled as she blushed.

'You think I'm beautiful?' she asked, and I almost laughed, had she not _looked_ in a mirror.

'Stubborn, and annoying at times but almost too beautiful to look at' I said and walked towards her and brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. Touching her made my body and magic scream in delight and I longed to do more, but I knew we weren't ready.

'You're not too bad yourself you know' she said blushing, I almost scoffed in response I suppose neither of us saw ourselves very clearly I smiled at the similarity between us.

I took her hand and led her back to the bed to sit down I saw her eyes flash and I winked at her.

'I don't think either of us is ready for that' I said and laughed as she blushed again.

'I'm not sure about this Merlin, I'm still mad and I still want revenge for Morgause but I suppose I can't do anything, your infinitely stronger than me and I can't exactly go anywhere…I suppose I'll just see what time will do' Morgana said.

'That sounds like a plan to me' I said 'Now do you want to tell me what you saw' I watched as she tensed up in response, clearly it had been bad. I gripped her hand and rubbed comforting circles over it.

'A battle, you and Arthur in the midst, a man was hooded and cloaked, clearly powerful he walked towards the both of you and you told Arthur to run but he didn't hear you, he threw powerful magic at you and you blocked it for a while but he won, you were hurt and fell to the floor, and then he turned to Arthur, then I woke up' She said.

'What about you?' I asked, where did she feature in this battle was she against us or fighting with us.

'I don't know, I didn't see myself,' she said

'Well is it far in the future?' I asked.

'Well it must be, you were using magic in front of Arthur but from what I saw this morning he doesn't seem to like it much' she laughed.

'No, but he's not killed me for it…it gives me hope that someday he'll come around' I said.

'And if he doesn't?' she said and I could see the warning in her eyes, she would give Arthur time but I knew she wouldn't wait long before she took matters into her own hands.

'I don't know' I said.

'I won't wait forever for my freedom Merlin' she said.

'No and neither will I' I said taking her hand again.

'So what do you want to do?' Morgana said and I raised my eyebrows in response and laughed as she blushed again.

'Well, I suppose you don't have a teacher anymore, what do you say to learning about magic, getting some history, and maybe learning some tricks' I said.

'You'd teach me?' she asked bewildered.

'Of course why wouldn't I?' I asked stroking her cheek.

'Aren't you worried I'll use it against you?' she asked and I laughed in response.

'As you said Morgana, your magic is powerful but I know your talent lies in healing and seeing the future, you can't beat me' I said confidently

'Is that challenge?' she asked smirking and I smiled as I got my first glimpse of the confident sweet girl I once knew and I knew I would do anything to keep that girl with me forever.

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**Well there you go. Next: Morgana gets some magic lessons and will maybe meet the dragon next**, **and see how she struggles to fit in when everyone hates her…that's next. So please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yeah so I decided to update anyway, who cares about A levels when I want to write fanfiction! Merlin fanfiction!**

**By the way clearing something up, in my story Morgana killed Uther at the end of season 3 when she had him in the dungeons and she took over Camelot, Uther is not alive and Arthur is king…just in case any of you were confused. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters**

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I had left Morgana for an hour or so whilst I had tracked down Gwen and asked her if she had anything Morgana could wear, she had said she'd see to it so, in the mean time I had returned to mine and Gaius's chambers and washed and changed clothes myself, I was shaving breakfast now. I wanted to give Morgana some space, she probably had a lot to think about and my constant presence was probably not helping much.

We had probably been separated for about an hour or maybe a little longer but already I could feel the ache for her spreading through my body, I wondered if it would always be this strong, if so we had to find some way of controlling it, we couldn't spend every minute of every day together, it would ruin us.

'How is she?' Gaius asked.

'Okay, she doesn't trust me, but she doesn't want to kill me either, to be honest I think I'm closer to gaining her trust than I am Arthur's' I said.

'Arthur will come round Merlin' Gaius said.

'Yes, but when Gaius?' I said 'the longer he takes the more impatient Morgana is going to get and that could ruin everything'

'Try talking to him' Gaius suggested.

'The last time I did that he put me in magic binding shackles Gaius'

'I don't think I have the answer Merlin, maybe someone else does'

'What do you mean?' I asked, if Gaius didn't have the answers then no one would.

'What about the great dragon, he was the one that instructed you in your destiny before, maybe you could find out what's changed' Gaius said.

I considered it. Kilgharrah had no love for Morgana, and wanted her dead; he had tried to get me to do it a number of times. Taking her to see him might not be the best of ideas, but he wouldn't hurt her, not whilst I told him not to. But I couldn't control his mouth and all the verbal abuse she was likely to get.

But Morgana needed help, I needed help, we were both blundering down a path neither of us had any experience in. Our futures had changed, Morgana had lost her sister and we had both gained love, I wondered how our destiny has changed. Only he could answer, and I longed to see him, he was one of the only beings who understood me and knew what it was like, but I hoped in time that would change as I grew closer to Morgana. She needed to see him, I decided, we both did, we both needed answers.

'That's a good idea' I said 'I'll go tell her'

I finished my breakfast and followed the pull of my heart to Morgana's chambers.

* * *

'The dragon' she said looking at me bewildered. 'You want me to visit the dragon, the same one who got you to try to kill me?'

'Yes' I said 'but he won't kill you, I won't let him, he might not be very nice but he won't hurt you'

'What can he tell us?' Morgana asked, I realised that she didn't have the same knowledge I did Morgause had not taught her much.

'Dragons are creatures of the purest magic, they _are_ magic, it flows through their veins giving them knowledge and the gift of foresight, much like you, but only they are able to command it at will, to look into the future and see every ones destiny'

'So he can tell us what our future will be?' Morgana asked.

'No' I said with a chuckle 'Kilgharrah is much more cryptic…he can't just give you the answers, he is a guide a way to follow if you choose'

'He guided you?' Morgana asked still looking confused.

'Yes, and although I disagreed with him on occasions his guidance has always been generally right'

'Accept for the whole poisoning thing' Morgana said her eyes narrowing.

She was still dressed in her night gown, but she had brushed her hair and it hung in long rivers of black silk. Gwen had obviously bought her clothes they lay on the back of a chair untouched, I wondered why she hadn't dressed yet.

'Actually his guidance in that was sound, knowing my destiny, he knew that we would become enemies and would try to destroy Camelot, he instructed me to get rid of that threat, it was good advice, but that didn't make it the right advice'

'What do you mean?' Morgana asked.

'Killing you would have been smart, but what would have been smarter would have been me finding another way and helping you, rather than killing you' I said.

She paused for the longest time her green eyes staring into my own; I longed to know what she was thinking.

'I see' she said.

'You don't have to go Morgana, it's your choice, I just think we both could do with some help…this is new to the both of us' I said.

'And you care for him' Morgana said, it wasn't a question.

'Yes, we are very close' I said wondering why she had said it.

'Well if were bonded then I'm going to need to know about you, this is as good a way to start I suppose' she said, I could hear how nervous she was.

'He won't hurt you morgana' I assured her.

'I know I just…' she veered off and shook her head.

'What?' I asked

'I want him to like me, you said he doesn't and I can see you love him very much, is it wrong to want the approval of the man I loves dragon?'

'No, of course not' my heart jumped at the word love.

'But a week ago, I wouldn't have cared, it would have just been another obstacle standing between me and the throne' she said.

'Morgana, you're confused, we both are a lot has changed…speaking to him will help I promise'

'Okay' she said.

'Aren't you going to get dressed?' I asked pointing towards the dress on her chair.

Her eyes followed my hand and lingered on the dress, her face turned into a frown and she shook her head and shivered.

'What's wrong?' I asked.

'Gwen brought me one of my old dresses, I don't think I should wear them anymore' she said.

'Why not?' I said looking over to the beautiful blue silk dress remembering how she used to look in it, 'you'll look beautiful'

'Exactly' Morgana said 'Those dresses were a part of my past, when I was Uther's ward, he bought all of them for me, and I don't think it would be right for me to wear them when I killed him'

'Ah, maybe you're right'

'I'm scared Merlin, I don't regret killing him, but I dread other people's remarks for your sake' Morgana said.

'My sake?' I asked confused.

'People will see you with me, they'll know you support me, they'll hate you and everyone loves you Merlin, you have such a kind heart everybody likes you, I remember' She said.

'Morgana, they know I used magic, there all just as terrified of me as they are you, even more so because Arthur locked me up…and now he's let me go, they probably think I've enchanted him' I said.

'Arthur locked you up?' Morgana asked shocked.

'Yes, with magical binding shackles that cut off my magic and stopped me from finding you' I said.

'I can't believe Arthur would do that, you two are like brothers'

'Yes, well as I said before maybe destiny has changed, Kilgharrah will know'

'Yes' she said then turned again to the dress.

'I'll get you something plainer as soon as we come back' I offered.

She smiled at me, a genuine heart-warming smile that made my chest ache; I had missed that smile 'Thank you Merlin'

She made her way to the chair and then behind the screen, I blushed as I realised she was about to change in my presence and swiftly turned my back. I heard her laugh and blushed again; I tried with all my might not to think about what she looked like under that nightgown, it was so difficult though.

'Merlin, could you help with the fastening?' she asked.

I froze… me?... touch her? that wasn't such a good idea, especially not so intimately , I wasn't sure if I could control myself, hell I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

'I don't think that's a good idea' I said my voice small and she laughed again.

'Don't be silly' she said.

I gathered all my courage and turned and walked behind the screen, her back was to me and it was bare where she couldn't reach the fastening, I gulped my pulse speeding up. I could see the perfect white skin of her spine which beckoned so invitingly.

I took a step forward and with trembling fingers reached for the fastening, my fingers brushed her skin and she gasped, she was just as affected by this as I was and it sent a rush of pleasure through me when I thought of her feeling this too. I couldn't help myself; as my fingers fastened the buttons I bent my head and followed the path with my lips tracing her skin with my lips. She tasted like strawberries and all things good and I couldn't help but flick my tongue out to get more, she tasted divine.

A moan escaped her as I finished and then I swiftly stepped away in shock, I had been so determined to remain a perfect gentlemen and I had just assaulted her practically covering her back in kisses.

'I'm sorry Morgana, I lost control' I said.

She turned to look at me and it was my turn to let out a moan as I took in her features, her cheeks held a blush and her chest was rising and falling as if she had been running a great distance, her eyes were dilated and glazed with pleasure her blue silk gown accentuated every curve and I wanted nothing else but to kiss her and pull her towards me and never let go.

She shook her head as if coming out of a trance and smiled 'don't apologise I quite enjoyed it' she said and I laughed with her.

'Yes, but maybe we shouldn't go too fast, until we know each other a bit better' I said.

'Hmm, but every time I touch you I just want to…' she veered off her eyes darkening with desire again.

'I know, we'll just have to stay a metre apart' I said

'That might be difficult Merlin' she took a step towards me until she was running a hand down my clothed chest her lips millimetres from my own 'we have to touch or we'll die Merlin, you know as well as I do that we can't be apart'

'Yes… well… we'll just have to try our best' and with that I stepped firmly away and tried to get a grip on myself. She laughed again.

'I think I know how to beat you Merlin, just flirt with you until you're a shivering wreck on your knees' she teased.

'Not unless I put you to sleep with magic' I said, laughing myself.

'You know you love it' she winked at me and I stepped forward and grabbed her hand pulling her out the door before she could so anything else.

'Come on, you're killing me, there'll be plenty of time for flirting later'

* * *

**Bit shorter than usual but I hoped I made up for it with a little action there ;) next chapter: Arthur and Merlin have yet another argument and Kilgharrah has some life changing information for Merlin which may change his relationship with Morgana all over again. **

**Please review! I gave up English lit and sociology revision to write this!**


	10. Chapter 10

**So I decided to update again because I didn't like where I left it last chapter and I really need to get this chapter done so I don't forget what I thought up!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

* * *

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Morgana, we hadn't even reached the court yard yet and everyone was stopping to stare, even the servants who were supposed to be discreet were staring, I could hear Morgana breathing next to me her hand sweaty in mine, she was panicking, fighting the urge to run, I couldn't blame her I was fighting the same urge.

We were just going past the council room when Arthur called out to me from within.

'Merlin!' He looked angry furious even 'could I speak to you please?'

I looked down at Morgana and I could see she looked confused we turned back to Arthur but he had already gone into the council room. I wondered what he wanted; he probably wanted to kill me for using magic to fling him from Morgana's chambers.

'What do you think he wants?' Morgana asked.

'Probably wants to kill me in a variety of ways as possible' I said.

'Well we had best not keep the king waiting' Morgana said and made to go into the room I hastily reached out to stop her.

'Maybe it would be best if you waited out here' I said.

'Alone?' Morgana asked looking around at all the people in fear, courtiers and servants were staring at her with unabashed hatred.

'On second thoughts yeah you had best come with me' I said.

We entered the council room that doubled as Arthur's throne room and I was surprised to see that no one else was in there, it was just Arthur, pacing at a frantic speed; he turned to look at us and glared at Morgana.

'I wanted to speak to you alone Merlin' Arthur said.

'I promised Morgana we would have no secrets between each other, plus I don't think it's safe for her out there' I said.

'That's precisely my point' Arthur said 'You can't be seen to be walking around all lovey dovey when the whole of Camelot hate her, and suspect _you_ of treason'

'We were going out, to see someone' I said.

'Oh without telling me? You and the evil sorceress just decided to go for a pleasant walk? For god's sake Merlin don't you think it would look a bit suspicious' Arthur said.

'I'm sorry; maybe it would have been better if…' Morgana started to say in a small voice.

'No Morgana' I said interrupting her 'I won't have you locked away like some common criminal'

'She is a criminal Merlin she killed my father, _her own_ father!' Arthur stormed.

I had never seen him so mad, even when he had locked me in the dungeons I could still see my friend but now all I was left with was a raging young king who was having his entire world thrown upside down.

'He was no father of mine' Morgana started hatefully stepping forwards.

Arthur screamed at her and drew his sword and started towards her, she raised her hands in defence and my protective instinct flared.

'HEY!' I yelled 'STOP, YOU CAN'T HURT EACH OTHER WITHOUT HURTING ME!'

'She has no right to talk about him!' Arthur yelled.

'Arthur we need to talk about this calmly and rationally' I said calmly.

'Too right we do, I want her to stay in her chambers until you've got control of her'

'She's not an animal you can train Arthur' I said my own temper flaring.

'She was the animal that murdered my father!'

'He was going to die, one day Arthur, he killed so many people it was only a matter of time before one of the magical community sought vengeance' I said.

'AND THAT MAKES IT OKAY?' Arthur screamed tears now starting to fill in his eyes. Morgana had backed into a corner and was not saying anything.

'Of course not Arthur, but you have to understand, imagine mourning all your life someone you thought was your father, only to find out he's not actually your biological father…the person who is has lied to you all your life…hasn't come forward and claimed you as his own…then imagine that that same person hates the very thing you are…magic'

I watched Arthur's breathing slowly got steadier and steadier as he looked back at me.

'It would be like the very world is against you… nobody loves you or can understand who you are, because if you tell anyone your very father would have you burned to death…then you realise that that same man has killed murder countless of your kind…you have no one left…no one to turn to…wouldn't that make you slightly mad?' I said.

'So you condone what she did?' Arthur asked staring at me hard with blue eye now.

'Of course not, murder is wrong in any situation, and I tried everything I could to save your father Arthur but I don't regret his death…and I don't wish him back' I said

I considered my words… they were true; I knew Arthur must be feeling lonely; he had been thrust upon the throne to early with no father no guide him.

'You wish him dead?' Arthur asked his voice quieter now.

'I wouldn't wish anyone dead, but you have to understand Arthur, I grew up never knowing my father…he was chased away from my mother by Uther, depriving her of love of marriage, then she gave birth to an abnormal son who gave her a heart attack every time he did uncontrollable magic not knowing that what he was doing was punishable by death'

I paused and let my words sink in.

'So no, I don't wish Uther back and part of me is glad that he paid for his crimes' I said.

I was shocked when Arthur fell to the floor in a heap, tears freely coursing down his face. Morgana made to move towards him worry on her face but I shook my head at her, I didn't think she was who Arthur wanted to talk to right now.

I walked towards him and sat down with him, and put my arm around his shoulders, Arthur usually hated contact and anything sentimental but this was different, he leaned his head onto my shoulder and sobbed.

'What's really going on Arthur, why are you so upset?' I asked, I knew something else was hurting him.

'I feel like I'm losing you' Arthur said his voice unbearably quiet.

'What on earth do you mean?' I asked I could see Morgana staring at us from the corner unsure what to do.

'You have Morgana now, and she needs you, it's only been a day but I feel like I've lost my best friend' Arthur said.

'You're right Arthur…it has only been a day and you read what this bond does to me'

'I know, I just can't help but feel jealous' I said.

'Arthur don't make me chose between the two of you…that would be like me asking you to choose between me and Gwen'

'Ah, but Merlin I'd chose you…you're my closest friend, the only one who's been there for me, my loyal servant, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you' Arthur said sniffing.

I was gobsmacked, Arthur was clearly upset and frightened he was spilling his heart out to me, like he never had done before. He looked so very young right now and vulnerable, he was obviously telling the truth when he thought I would leave him.

'Arthur, I told you before, my magic is yours, my destiny is yours, I will do everything I can to protect you, I love Morgana but right now you are the most important person in my life' I told him sincerely.

'So I'm not going to lose my best friend?' Arthur asked sounding pitiful

'Never' I told him patting him on the shoulder.

He seemed to come back to himself and nodded standing up pulling me with him, he wiped his eyes and looked suitably embarrassed.

'You won't tell anyone?' Arthur asked.

'Of course not'

He turned to look at Morgana now, and stared for a long time into her eyes trying to assess her. I beckoned to her and she walked towards us.

'I would never try to come between the pair of you Arthur, I know how much you mean to each other' she said.

'I know' Arthur said 'but it's going to take a long time to forgive you for killing my father Morgana'

'I know that too, but I'm not sorry, I'll never be sorry' Morgana said tears of her own trickling down her cheeks.

'Well' Arthur said then changed the subject 'so where are you going?'

'To see Kilgharrah, were hoping he can provide some answers' I said.

'The dragon?' he asked.

'Yes, I miss him too'

'Well, be careful and I'll see you later' he made to turn out of the room but I grabbed his arm.

'When I come back, we'll have a long talk about everything' I told him.

He nodded and smiled in reply 'I'd like that'

* * *

We made it out of the city and into the forest without too much hassle, we hadn't spoken since our encounter with Arthur and I was dying to know what she was thinking but I was unwilling to break the silence.

'Thank you Merlin' Morgana said breaking the silence.

'For what?' I asked confused

'For not hating me for killing Uther' she said she wasn't looking at me and she hadn't stopped walking.

'Murder is wrong Morgana, all murder, but you're right, I can't hate you for killing him when a part of me wants to thank you' I said.

She didn't reply to that and instead chose to follow my footsteps as I walked towards the clearing.

'I'm sorry for coming between you and Arthur' she said.

'Don't be' I told her 'he's just feeling a little threatened and confused' I said.

'You love him' it wasn't a question

'He's like the brother I never had' I told her simply.

'I felt that with Morgause' She said, she didn't say it spitefully and she didn't accuse me of killing her but I chose not to respond to that statement.

I couldn't imagine what it must have been like to lose a sister; I knew that if anything ever happened to Arthur I would never be the same ever again. I realised that she wasn't the same now that Morgause was gone; she was slowly losing her evil nature and was beginning to accept me, if this morning's interaction was anything to go by. Death I noticed affected all of us in different ways, I didn't say it out loud but Morgause's death was obviously having a positive effect on Morgana.

We travelled in silence for a little longer until I reached the destination I was heading and I walked Morgana into the centre of the huge clearing and watched her as she looked around in interest.

'Where is he?' she asked and I laughed.

'He doesn't just appear he has to be called' I told her

'Ah, I see'

I drew in a deep breath and then looked inside myself to the place where my connection with Kilgharrah stood strong.

'O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!' I yelled to the sky.

I turned to find Morgana looking at me bewildered.

'I don't know whether to laugh or be in awe of you, I felt the magic you just let loose yet nothing has happened and I've never heard your voice go that deep before' Morgana said staring at me.

'Well he's got to fly here… he's not just going to appear out of thin air, and it takes a lot to command dragons… what were you expecting?' I said laughing.

She stepped towards me and punched my arm lightly; I couldn't help it I kept laughing until she was joining in.

'Do you think he'll hate me?' she asked breaking off from our laughing spell.

'To be honest I'm not so sure, he has no love for you' I said.

She sighed and looked down at her feet.

'Hey, he won't hurt you' I said lifting her cheek with my hand until she was staring in to my eyes. She smiled the most inviting smile and I felt my pulse speed up, her lips curled so seductively and I longed to know what they tasted like, I lowered my head towards her but a sharp cry broke into my head and I stumble backwards.

'_MERLIN!' _

Kilgharrah's huge wingspan crashed down onto the clearing, he was clearly angry his golden scales glittered brightly and his eyes were slanted in a ferocious glare towards Morgana. She gasped in fear and backed away.

'You will not harm her Kilgharrah' I said command in my voice.

He turned his eyes towards me and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

'Of all the things young warlock, falling in love with the witch' I hated the way he said witch; it was with such venom and hate.

'I couldn't help it Kilgharrah were magic mates' I said.

'Yes' he drew the syllable out 'I know'

I sighed in relief… Kilgharrah knew everything.

'Then you know what she means to me, and you will treat her with respect'

'I have missed you young warlock' the dragon laughed and I couldn't help but beam in response.

'And I you' I walked forwards until he bent his head towards mine… I lowered my forehead to his huge snout and stroked gently down the rough scales.

I felt Morgana's gaze on us and I saw her staring at us in shock, I suppose it must look crazy a human hugging such a huge beast, but I didn't care Kilgharrah was my kin a bond that nobody would understand. I stepped backwards and beckoned to Morgana holding her hand with mine.

'Were confused Kilgharrah we were destined to become bitter enemies, were lost and we don't know what the future entails, destiny has changed'

'Indeed it has young warlock, and I can assure you _that_ it is a rare thing'

'Then what is our new destiny?' I asked.

'Your destiny is exactly what the bond is, you are and will be everything to each other, and you cannot live without the other' Kilgharrah said.

'You don't understand' Morgana said stepping forwards. 'me and Morgause wanted nothing but Camelot's downfall, for months we plotted revenge for all of our kind, and now because of my bond with Merlin, I find myself unable to go down that path, I've never felt so alone'

'Your destiny, witch, much as it was before is joined with Merlin's, you are his support and partner… together you will protect Albion in the final battle'

'Battle, what battle?' I said stepping forward to join Morgana.

'The one your witch has seen' he said.

'My vision, the dream I had the other night?' Morgana asked.

'Indeed' Kilgharrah said 'together you must protect Camelot, and only together will you succeed'

'But who is the fight against?' I asked both him and Morgana.

'I don't know, he wore a hood I didn't see his face it could be a she' Morgana said.

'You know who it is young warlock' Kilgharrah said.

'I do?' I asked 'Oh I see this is the bit were you go all cryptic on me' he just chuckled that deep laugh of his.

'Are we happy in the future?' Morgana asked and I turned to stare at her, that was such a weird question, was she worried I wouldn't make her happy?

'I can't tell you everything witch, you must live the future to know it' he replied. Morgana didn't reply just looked down at her feet.

'I'm happy for you Merlin, even if this bond is such a restricting one I'm glad you have her by your side not on the other one' he said and I smiled in response this was the closest he would get to approving of Morgana.

She seemed to realise this 'thank you' she said.

I made to bid farewell to Kilgharrah and return to Camelot but he stopped me.

'Not so fast young warlock I would talk to you first' he said.

'Go ahead' I replied.

'Without your magic mate present' he said vaguely.

I turned to look at Morgana and saw her frown, we had agreed to have no secrets from each other and I knew that in this relationship nothing was more important than being honest with each other.

'Why can't Morgana be here?' I asked.

'Because this is intensely personal and not something you will want to share straight away' Kilgharrah said.

'That's okay Merlin' Morgana said but I could tell she was suspicious.

'Kilgharrah I want you to swear to me that this has nothing to do with Morgana' I said.

'I swear it on my honor as a dragon' he said and I nodded in reply.

'He's telling the truth Morgana, he can't lie to a dragon lord' I said.

She nodded and I saw the suspicion leave her eyes only to be replaced with curiosity.

'I'll just meet you back in Camelot' she said. I kissed her gently on the cheek in farewell and a thrill went through me as her eyes darkened, I was so happy that she could be affected just by a simple kiss. I winked at her and she glared.

'I'll get you for that'

'I look forward to it' I said, she winked and turned to make her way back to Camelot I waited until she was past the trees and out of sight before turning to my kin.

* * *

'It is time Merlin, time to know who you really are' Kilgharrah said his tail twitching.

'What do mean?' I asked 'I know who I am, I'm Merlin Emrys high warlock and protector of Arthur the once and future king' I said brightly throwing my arms out in an impressive stance.

'No Merlin…it is so much more than that'

I sobered. I could tell that Kilgharrah was in a serious mood, he was about to drop something, something big, he was building up to something in a dramatic finale, it was so his style. My heart was thumping in my chest and I looked him in the eye.

'Just tell me Kilgharrah' I said.

'Did you ever find out what Emrys actually means Merlin?' Kilgharrah asked.

This was about my name? I had just assumed that it was my name in the druid tongue apparently it was something much more substantial.

'No' I replied, he sighed in reply his breath whipping my hair back from my forehead.

'I've put this off for so long, I didn't want to burden you with the truth young warlock' Kilgharrah said and I was starting to get annoyed.

'What truth Kilgharrah?' I asked.

'Merlin, Emrys translated from the druid tongue means Immortal'

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**And I think I'll leave it there…Mwuahahaha! The quicker you review the quicker I'll update. Hope your enjoying my story as much as I am writing it!**

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So I've finally finished my exams so my attention is back to this story…Yay! By the way there's a brilliant game on Facebook called Camelot where you can build your own kingdom and stuff, you should check it out and join my alliance!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters!**

* * *

_Immortal: _I tossed the word around in my head, I was so confused, surely Kilgharrah couldn't mean that literally, I may be magical but I'm not _that_ magical…or was I? My emotions must have been playing out on my face for a while because Kilgharrah interrupted me.

'I _do_ mean it literally Merlin'

'How?' I asked utterly confused 'You mean I'm going to live forever?'

'It is difficult to explain young Warlock' Kilgharrah said.

'Well you had best find a way of making it easier Kilgharrah before I lose my mind!' I said my voice rose slightly.

'I didn't want to tell you when we first met, you were so young and troubled about Arthur and your destiny…I didn't have the heart to tell you then'

'So you lied to me?' I asked still confused

'No I just held information from you until you were ready'

'And you've decided I'm ready now?' I asked.

'I'm afraid so' he said his gruff voice lower with sadness.

I sighed, my stomach was a net of nerves that were fidgeting around making me feel slightly sick. I knew that whatever Kilgharrah was going to tell me next was going to change my life. I angrily stomped my foot into the ground, when would destiny let me make my own choices? Could I even make my own choices if my future was already foretold? My life had already had so many life altering changes thrown in, I didn't know if I could take any more.

'Then tell me' I said determinedly.

'Yours, was not a normal birth Merlin, if you had asked your mother, she would have told you how you were born swirling gold orbs…you nearly gave her and her midwife a heart attack but your mother pleaded with her to keep it a secret when she realised that you were somebody very special Merlin'

'Why didn't she tell me?' I asked

'She didn't believe it was important, your mother as you well know has no gift of magic herself therefore she assumed it was a common thing with magical babies however you are the only magical _baby_ there has and will ever be'

'I don't understand' I said.

'Magic comes to us in all stages of life young warlock…for most humans they must study it when they realise they have a talent for it, which usually comes at later stages in life…but you Merlin, were magical as soon as you came into this world, you're very being radiates magic because that is essentially what you are'

'You're telling me I _am_ magic?' I asked confused.

'In a way… destiny and prophecy foretold your coming and the magic of the land made _you _to fulfil those goals'

I paused as I tried to take all of this in 'so you're saying I'm not my mother's and father's child… I was created by magic?' I asked.

'Of course not Merlin, if you need proof that you are you're mother and fathers child you only need to look at your gift as a dragon lord…you would not have it if your father had not died to pass it on to you?'

'Then I still don't understand' I said.

'You were the right baby Merlin at the right time, magic blessed you and gave you the powers you now have today and many you still don't understand' Kilgharrah said.

'So where does me being _Immortal_ come into all of this?' I asked

'By blessing you, you became a creature of pure magic like the dragons which probably explains our deep connection we have Merlin… despite us being dragon and dragon Lord our connection runs deeper than that…you can feel it can't you?' Kilgharrah asked.

I considered it. In all the books I had read about dragons and dragon lords, they always talked about the bond of respect between dragon and dragon lord, but never had it spoken about the deep connection that I felt with Kilgharrah. Something connected us that went deeper than the dragon lord bond.

'Were kin aren't we?' I asked.

'Yes, in every sense of the word' Kilgharrah said 'When magic blessed you it gave you certain qualities of the dragons…for only we are born with magic…no other creature is'

'So what dragon like qualities have I got then?' I joked 'can I breathe fire?'

'No because you are not a dragon Merlin…just because you are like us doesn't mean you _are_ us'

'I'm so confused' I said.

'By being born with magic you are automatically presented with certain gifts that any creature born with magic would be given whether you are human dragon or ant'

'But you are the only creatures born of magic so are the only ones to receive them' I said gradually beginning to understand.

'Yes and one of these traits is the gift of immortality'

'But I'm not invincible Kilgharrah I've been injured before… hell I've nearly died plenty of times' I pointed out.

'Well of course you have…don't be mistaken Merlin you can be killed just like a dragon…by poison by sword by magic…but if none of these things kill you Merlin, then you will…endure'

'What do you mean' I asked.

'Like the dragons Merlin your magic will sustain you for ever' He said.

I tried to take it all in. Magic had made me different but I had never realised just how different until this moment. Life was obvious to most people: You are born, you grow up, you hopefully fall in love and marry and generally live well so you can die a peaceful death with no regrets, I now realised that that was now taken away from me.

I felt myself fall to my knees in shock. I would linger in this world long past all of my friends and my love, Morgana. She would grow old and die and I would watch as she left the world without me. What was the point if I couldn't have the reward of death? I had never seen death as a good thing but now that the expectation of it had been taken away I was overwhelmed with the heart breaking situation that I would wander the world alone.

'It is a lot to take in I understand Merlin' Kilgharrah said.

And suddenly I knew how he felt, to be the last of his kind forever alone. One day in the far, far future when the human race finally became extinct and succumbed to inevitability me and Kilgharrah would be the only ones left in its deserted land with nothing but memory and pain.

'I don't want to be alone' I said tears leaking from my face.

'That is my point Merlin, this bond with Morgana has affected her as well' Kilgharrah said.

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Your magic is strong, stronger than hers and destiny never expected for a magic mate bond to take place now that is has it has altered Morgana's fate as well' Kilgharrah said.

'She's immortal too?' I asked.

'I'm afraid so, your magic being the stronger of the pair has brought her up to an equal standing, as the magic mate bond means not living without the other'

'So it's robbed her of a normal life completely' I said.

Kilgharrah had no answer and I felt sobs take over. I had robbed Morgana of so much with this magic mate bond and now I realised that I had robbed her of her right to _die_. Her right to have a normal existence…she would never forgive me. I couldn't live with her rejection, she would hate me despite the bond she would force herself to hate me… I just knew it.

'There is something else as well Merlin'

'Oh, fantastic!' I yelled anger was catching up with me now that the whole situation was sinking into my brain 'Just add to my misery Kilgharrah have one last go'

'You can never have children Merlin' Kilgharrah said he sounded so pitiful now like he knew he was breaking my heart.

He lay down on his belly and curled around me as I fell to the floor in a heap of disbelief; I knew that if he was human he would be holding me right now.

'Why not?' I asked sniffing.

'It is do with the blessing magic gave you at birth, to be given so much power Merlin…well the world needed to be balanced out' Kilgharrah said.

'By robbing me of the chance to have a family?' I asked.

'Yes, don't you see, you would be able to sire a whole stream of pure magical babies imagine the consequences of it, if some of them went bad the world would be thrown into catastrophe'

'But if I raised them correctly…'I said but Kilgharrah cut me off.

'No Merlin, don't you see magic chose you because it knew that you were pure of heart the only being in this land that would not be corrupted by power…your potential offspring would be tempted and it would throw the balance out of the world.'

I didn't reply. I had never imagined myself with a family the possibility had seemed so far ahead in the future, but again it was a choice that destiny had decided to rob me of. It had robbed Morgana too, the bond of magic mate meant that she would not be able to love or even like another man enough to want to have his child. She would be barren and shackled to my side so completely.

'She'll hate me Kilgharrah' I said.

'One cannot hate what makes it whole' he said in reply.

'Where does Arthur come into all of this?' I asked.

'Arthur is you're destiny for this lifetime Merlin' Kilgharrah said.

'And after he is dead?' I asked.

'Yours and Morgana's journey will not stop with him…he is just the beginning of people's lives you will change and help'

'That sounds like a noble cause Kilgharrah but it's not fair…it's not fair at all' I said and tears took over again.

'How will I explain this to everyone…to Morgana?' I asked.

'Merlin may I suggest you don't start with her…start with Arthur right now you need your friend and he needs you'

I considered this. I wasn't ready to face Morgana yet, I needed comfort that only my best friend could give, I needed Arthur and remembering his breakdown from earlier he clearly needed me. It was getting dark and I looked around in shock. We had talked the afternoon away and suddenly the pain from my separation from Morgana hit me.

It wasn't so bad but it was there. She must be worried but I was in no state to talk to her. I climbed to my feet and turned to Kilgharrah.

'You've given me quite a surprise this time Kilgharrah' I said

'It was not something I wanted to tell you young warlock, your blessing is both a curse and a gift…but know that I will always be here should you need me' he said.

I bowed in response and pressed my forehead against his snout in farewell and then set off back towards the castle my mind in whirl over Kilgharrah's confessions.

* * *

I stumbled into Arthur's chambers thanking god that he was alone I'm sure that the sight of me would have terrified anyone else but Arthur new differently however. He was instantly by my side hoisting my arm around his side and led me over to the bed.

'Merlin what on earth is the matter you look like death?' Arthur said pressing a cold hand to my forehead to gauge my temperature and then passed me a goblet of water from which I took a sip.

'Is it Morgana, your bond? Did something happen? Did someone attack you?' he asked frantically and I shook my head.

'No' I croaked and looked away from his concerned eyes, my magic had been such a shock for him, was he ready for this?

'Is there something wrong with the dragon?' he asked and I shook my head in response.

He sighed 'Do you want me to get Morgana?' he asked.

'No!' I practically screamed and he backed away looking confused.

'What's going on Merlin?' Arthur asked sitting next to me on the bed.

'Kilgharrah told me some stuff' I said lamely still refusing to meet his eyes.

'What kind of stuff?' Arthur asked.

'Life altering stuff'

There was the longest of pauses whilst Arthur looked at me.

'You know Merlin, I know I haven't been very supportive about the whole magic thing, but I consider you family and my closest friend I would never think differently of you'

'You might after this' I said pitifully.

'Just tell me' Arthur said and raised my chin so I was looking at him in the eyes.

'I am a child of magic…I am magic's child I'm immortal like the dragons' I said. And I lowered my head into my hands and sobbed.

'Do you mean that _literally_?' he asked shocked and I almost laughed that he had said the same thing I had said, we were so alike.

'I'm afraid so...you will live a long and happy life Arthur and I will not be able to follow you when you leave this world'

He stared at me with round eyes and I couldn't even begin to contemplate what was going through his mind, probably how much of a freak I was.

'You can't die?' he asked.

'Oh I can die alright…stab me with your sword and I'm gone but leave me…and I'll endure' I said hating the word.

'What about Morgana and your bond?' Arthur asked.

'Oh I've dragged her into this too' I said spitefully hating myself all over again.

'Maybe it's a good thing Merlin, I mean you won't be so alone' Arthur said.

'Don't you understand…My life will never have completion and neither will hers we'll wander this earth to the end of its days and have to watch whilst the people we love leave us…how can we make friends knowing that one day they'll just be a distant memory?' I asked pleading at him to understand.

'I'll be honest mate it doesn't sound like a life I'd want' Arthur said honestly.

'There's more…I can never give Morgana a child' I said 'My magic stops me'

'Why?' Arthur asked incredulously.

'To stop them becoming evil tyrants that this power would give them…give anyone to anyone but me' I said.

'I don't know what to say' Arthur said.

I sniffed and pulled myself together, 'Well it's out in the open I suppose I'll just have to live with it and live with Morgana's hate for me' I said.

Her name brought the ache back to the forefront of my mind I wanted her comfort I wanted her to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. That she forgave me for taking away her free will and that she would love me for the rest of our days. It was very unlikely and my magic mate bond screamed in outrage.

'Merlin Morgana loves you, I love you, Gwen and Gaius love you, you could grow horns you could have pink hair and nothing would stop us loving you less, despite everything your still Merlin your still my insufferable servant with a talent for trouble and disrespect' Arthur said placing his hand round my shoulders and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me.

'That means a lot thank you' I said.

'She'll forgive you Merlin, she won't even be angry she'll just be worried about you' Arthur said speaking over my unvoiced concerns over Morgana.

'I've restricted her life and expanded it in ways that are irreversible' I said 'Would _you _forgive me?' I asked him

'I'm not the one who has the unpleasant task of loving you Merlin' Arthur joked and I snorted and nudged him.

'No' He said seriously now 'If I was Morgana I would make it my life's mission to make you happy so that you wouldn't feel the pang of loneliness that I'm sure will be a big part of both of your lives' Arthur said.

'I appreciate your honesty Arthur' I said.

'Merlin, you're still him, you're still my friend nothing has changed' he said.

'I don't want to forget you' I said and tears leaked from my eyes again.

I didn't want to forget any of them, Arthur's sarcasm or Gwaine's pranks, Gaius's logic and love of science and Gwen's open nature. I didn't want to forget Camelot my home which I had grown to love so much. I didn't want to forget my mother and her loving ways and beautiful smile. I couldn't forget these people, but faced with such a long future I wondered how it would be possible to recall everything.

'How could you forget _me_ your arrogant king who you live to torment?' Arthur said then was serious 'Live for today Merlin, not for tomorrow'

I considered that, I would have to talk to Morgana tomorrow, tomorrow I would have to face the fact that Camelot was in danger from an unknown foe. Tomorrow I would have to wake up and realise that I would never have a family or a child to call my own. But for today, I could be me; today I could put all of that to the back of my mind and focus on the smiling face of my King, my best friend who I would always protect.

* * *

**Well there you go! Wow what a lot of dialogue, but I loved writing the bromance!**

**By the way a few of you are asking if Emrys actually means Immortal if you look on the internet that's what it says and in the Arthurian legends some of them speak of Merlin existing for a long time…I'm just expanding on that idea I have no idea if it's true. But if I had to put money on it I would say that Emrys means immortal and that's were there going. Sorry if this story turns out to be a spoiler! Lol but it's just my insane ideas…could be completely wrong.**

**Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Well I'm back! And my excuse is…that I got BBC in my A levels and am now a student at Middlesex University in London! And well I had to party…a lot! But I had a review that practically begged me to update so I thought I wouldn't put it off any longer and get back to fanfiction!**

**So here is long awaited chapter 12!**

Merlin had long since cried himself to sleep and Arthur had placed him on his own bed and left him to slumber in the now dark room which was lightly lit by the quiet crackling fire that cast Arthur's chambers in shadow.

The young King was sat on his chair by the fire contemplating his earlier conversation with Merlin and the shocking news he had told him. Merlin was Immortal. Arthur had always known there was something special about Merlin but never in his wildest dreams would he of suspected anything of this magnitude.

Not only was he a powerful warlock he was Arthur's personal bodyguard and Lord of the last remaining dragon. Arthur couldn't imagine the pressure that was on the young man's shoulders. Although he was a king himself he knew that half of Camelot's safety and day to day running was because of Merlin. He had never felt more humbled and overpowered my Merlin's loyalty.

He had been jealous, Arthur admitted it now, Merlin had always been glued to his side ready with a smile and a cheeky comment and now his attention was divided, given his new bond with his sister Morgana. It surprised him to think that if they ever married they would be brothers and the thought drew a smile to his face.

_Maybe their relationship isn't so bad _Arthur mused.

He sniffed in humour and then turned his attention back to the sleeping man. He had often called merlin a bumbling idiot but deep down Arthur new there was something about him. He didn't actually look normal; his high cheekbones and deep blue eyes contrasted with his pale skin and raven hair set him apart from everyone else in Camelot. No one looked like him, except he realised that Morgana looked pretty similar. There close relationship with magic resonated in their looks that set them both apart as regal and defined and above all else… _powerful._

It was in this moment that Arthur realised how lucky he was to have two powerful allies in Camelot. Especially Merlin; who was willing to lay his life down for the kingdom. A soft knock on his door brought him out of his reverie.

He crossed to the door and opened it and Morgana stood in the shadows lit by, he realised by her own magic which radiated from her palm.

'I'm sorry Arthur, but I can sense he is here, and I know he is hurting, can I see him, I promise I won't wake him?' Morgana said.

'Of course' I whispered and stepped aside.

Morgana entered and her emerald eyes immediately sought Merlin's who were closed, his head resting against one of Arthur's own pillows. She walked towards him and stroked a long graceful finger down the side of his face. Even in sleep Merlin turned towards her hand sensing her presence.

'What happened?' she asked turning her eyes towards Arthur.

'He's had a very trying night, I'm afraid the dragon had some shocking news' Arthur replied staring wearily at her unsure of how much he should divulge to her.

'You're not going to tell me are you?' she asked, not angrily but in resigned acceptance.

'No, I won't betray his trust again; like I did when I locked him up' Arthur said 'but I'm sure he'll tell you Morgana when he wakes up'

She sighed and sat on the bed beside him claiming his hand in her own. Arthur saw how she sighed in some sort of relief and watched in amazement as Merlin even in slumber drew closely to her side.

'What's it like?' Arthur asked.

'What do you mean?' Morgana asked turning her gaze to Arthur now.

'Being magic mates?'

'It's amazingly terrible' Morgana laughed softly 'if that makes any sense'

Arthur turned his head and gestured for her to continue.

'I love him so completely… being without him physically hurts and being without his magic and comfort is mentally exhausting. The companionship is unlike anything I've felt before, even with Morgause. But it's terrifying to know that we hold each other in the palms of each other's hands. We could break one another so easily. But we love each other so easily as well.' Morgana sighed and turned her attention back to Merlin again.

'He is everything to me now'

'And how are _you_ Morgana?' Arthur asked taking a seat at his table facing her 'your life has changed, your path in life has changed, where do you go from now?'

'I go wherever Merlin goes' Morgana answered simply.

'Yes but you must want something from life Morgana, you've always been ambitious and I'm afraid you can't have my crown so what do you want?'

'Maybe I just want to be loved and accepted by Merlin's side Arthur' Morgana snapped her green eyes flashing.

'I'm sorry, it's just you changed so much when you betrayed us you changed from the girl I knew and loved and I don't know what to think of you anymore'

'I want to be your friend again Arthur' Morgana said standing up now and came towards him. She knelt down on her knees by his feet.

'I know I have done wrong, and I must serve justice for my crimes… Merlin has made me see that' Morgana paused 'I want to rebuild my relationship with you and Gwen, but I need you to know that I will never be sorry for ridding the world of Uther'

Arthur closed his eyes in pain as images of his father and memories arose before his eyes. He had loved his father; he knew he did wrong and that his hatred against magic was unjust and hypocritical… Merlin was proof of that but he had still loved him and looked up to him. In the end he couldn't fault Morgana for hating him.

'I wish it were different, I wish you felt remorse but I understand why you did it, but I will never forgive you for it until you can apologise for it' Arthur said bringing his hand to wipe away the tear that fell down Morgana's face.

'I'm sorry' Morgana said and Arthur knew she was apologising for the whole situation not for killing Uther.

'Don't be, we will agree to disagree and see if we can salvage our relationship for Camelot and for Merlin'

'Yes, I would like that' Morgana whispered.

There was a long pause before Morgana whispered 'I missed you my brother'

It was Arthur's turn to cry now as he shut his eyes as a wave of love came forward for his unclaimed sister before him, he wanted so much to hate her for her crimes but all he wanted was her back.

'I missed you too Morgana' and joined her on the floor and wrapped his arms around her.

They got up after a while and moved closer to the fire place where they sat side by side as they had done in winter growing up gossiping about Camelot. The Memories brought a smile to their faces. Arthur's disappeared however as he realised the news Merlin would have to deliver to her at some point.

'What is it?' she asked.

'Merlin' he replied.

'It's bad isn't it?'

'It may seem that way at first but you will both realise that you have each other'

'Then I will take the news with a smile on my face' she smiled and turned her head towards his form on the bed 'I love him so much'

'Good' Arthur replied 'but seriously Morgana what do you want?' Arthur asked repeating his earlier question.

'I want to learn, Morgause only taught me so much, there is much about magic I want to learn about prophecy and healing mostly, Merlin can teach me these things and with the help of Gaius maybe I could one day take over as Camelot's healer'

'That sounds like brilliant plan' Arthur said 'are you good at healing?' he asked intrigued.

'I've not had much practice but it is the way my magic leans' she replied.

'What do you mean?'

'All magic users have a talent… or what they are best at…a bit like your knights…some are suited to archery some to hand to hand combat others like yourself to the sword…magic users are no different'

'So…' Arthur said thinking it through.

'My magic leans towards healing and seeing the future' Morgana replied 'I can still do other kinds of magic but it is not what I am best at'

'What's Merlin best at?' Arthur asked curiously.

Morgana laughed in reply 'Merlin is Emrys… he is brilliant at anything but I would guess he is best at defensive and offensive magic, although I am sure he is brilliant at everything else, he is so powerful'

'It's weird viewing him as the most powerful man in Camelot'

'Come on, you always knew he was special Arthur' Morgana said laughing nudging him in the side.

'Yes, I just never realised how special' Arthur said 'What about your sister then what was she good at?'

Morgana immediately lowered her eyes and frowned.

'I'm sorry I shouldn't have' Arthur said.

'No its fine…Morgause was best at dark magic, I'm not going to lie, and I realise now how corrupt and dangerous she was. But that doesn't stop me loving her' Morgana replied.

'Of course not she was your sister' Arthur replied.

Morgana didn't reply and instead turned towards Merlin again feeling the ache of separation she rose and moved to his side.

'Do you want to stay?' Arthur asked.

'No, I think I will leave him until he is ready' Morgana said, she lowered her head and brushed her lips across his cheek in a gentle kiss then his forehead and moved towards the door.

'Thank you Arthur, for talking with me' Morgana said.

'You're welcome any time sister' Arthur said smiling.

She smiled in reply then said 'Will you tell him I'm looking for him in the morning'

'Why don't you both join me for breakfast?' Arthur offered

She nodded in reply and with a final glance at Merlin she reluctantly left the room. Arthur watched her go. He was half way there to having his sister back, she was slowly becoming the girl he knew and loved again, he only hoped that Merlin's news wouldn't set her back. He turned towards his best friend again and smiled he would make it okay. Merlin would make everything okay.

**The End.**

**HA! Totally kidding! Nah I have a lot of chapters until this is finished… like a lot… probably around the forty or fifty mark! I'm sorry it's been so long but I hope you like it. Please Review! =]**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews Guy's! Who's excited for S5 then?! I've got a date with my TV on the 29****th**** of September for S5 of Merlin ...so can't wait…and if Arthur doesn't find out about Merlin's secret this season I swear to God I will scream!**

**Here's chapter 13!**

* * *

I woke from a deep sleep feeling that familiar pull that told me I had been without Morgana all night. I groaned and sat up and realised at once that these weren't my rooms. They weren't even Morgana's chambers…I was in Arthur's. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair tiredly as last night and Kilgharrah's revelations came flooding back.

I looked around the chambers and noticed Arthur sprawled across his chair his legs over the side his head curled into the corner of the cushioned back. I smiled he looked adorable like that, it was only when he woke up that he turns into a complete prat…especially in the mornings and especially, I realised when his royal pratness hadn't got to sleep in his own royal bed that night.

I got up and immediately felt the exhaustion of being without Morgana hit me head on and I fell to the floor in a heap smacking my knees against the cold concrete of Arthur's chambers.

'Ow!' I groaned hating the sound of my own self-pity.

My noise had awoken Arthur who turned his head to look at me sprawled on the floor. He laughed and got up to help pull me to my feet.

'You know to say you're meant to be this immortal powerful warlock you really don't look it right now' Arthur said.

'Morgana' I replied and comprehension dawned on Arthur's face.

'Are you in pain, shall I go get her?' he asked.

There was no need she had felt my ache and I could feel it in her own body she was already flying down the corridors no doubt scaring Arthur's knights senseless in her haste to get to me.

'There's no need she's already coming' I said.

'What did you speak to her through your mind or something?' Arthur asked raising a blonde eyebrow in confusion.

'No' I replied scratching my head trying to make this sound less awkward than it was 'She can feel it too'

'Oh' Arthur said 'Well it's a good job she's coming I asked her to have breakfast with us this morning'

'You did, when?' I asked confused. I didn't recall Morgana talking to Arthur yesterday.

'Well you were pretty out of it last night and she came looking for you, she was pretty worried' Arthur said.

'You didn't tell her did you?' I asked.

'No, don't be thick I wouldn't betray your trust' Arthur said.

I was relieved the truth was going to have to come out some time but I was fully content with dragging it out for the rest of my life if I could. How do you tell the woman you love that she's not going to die and not have any children without fearing the response? If I had one piece of hope it was that I knew she wouldn't be able to hide away from me for long, she would have to show herself eventually.

As if on cue Morgana burst through the door just as a ray of sunshine shone through Arthur's windows. She had hastily dressed, her purple silk gown was not quite straight and her hair wasn't in the perfect style she always had it in. But to me she had never looked more beautiful. She was a vision of loveliness and I marvelled at the twist of destiny that had brought her into my path.

'Merlin' she whispered my name as if it was a solemn oath and a wave of love and desperation swept through me as I ran into her arms.

I buried my face in her black locks and wrapped my arms around her slim waist. A thrill went through me as one of her arms came around my neck to bury into my hair and the other slipped around my waist clinging to my shirt.

Her touch was like heaven and nothing had ever felt so perfect, the ache in my heart slowly faded as her warmth soothed me. I could feel her magic hum through my body and made me giddy with excitement as I felt my own magic respond, I wanted nothing more than to connect with her in the most boldest of ways.

'Ahem!' Arthur interrupted. 'I know you to are hopelessly passionately in love and all that but I don't think I'm ready to see my best friend and my sister attack each other in front of me'

I laughed and withdrew from her whilst still keeping her hand in mine and holding her gaze into which I whispered _later. _She winked in response and I felt a thrill of desire go through me, I had never wanted something so badly.

It was then that I realised that I hadn't even kissed her yet, but every move we made seemed just as passionate as a kiss, her every touch screamed of fire and passion and I couldn't wait until we were finally alone when I could show her what I truly felt for her.

I cooled my thoughts by remembering that before any of that could happen Morgana had a right to know what she in for. I prayed for the love of Camelot that she wouldn't hate me for it.

There was another knock on the door and Gwen entered carrying a tray laden with breakfast enough for four people.

'Gwen?' Arthur asked confused but obviously pleased to see her.

'The knights told me Morgana was heading this way and I put two and two together so I brought us all breakfast' Gwen smiled hesitantly her eyes moving from mine and Morgana's joined hands to Arthur's smiling face.

'I'd like that' Arthur said. Gwen smiled in response and moved towards the table and I tugged at Morgana's hand and dragged her along.

We all sat down and I suddenly realised how awkward all this was, there was obviously a lot of tension in the room. I realised that Morgana had attacked Arthur, Gwen and me a dozen times in the last months and now we were all going to sit down for breakfast and try to get along….that didn't seem very likely.

'Don't worry Merlin' Morgana said from her seat next to me 'I talked to Arthur last night when you were sleeping. I think we're going to be okay' she said smiling at him.

I beamed in response thankful that I didn't have to choose between my best friend and my Magic Mate, I loved Morgana and I couldn't be without her but my loyalty would always be with Arthur and I was happy that she seemed to have grasped that. It wasn't difficult I realised, now that she was bonded to me she was probably attuned to my every thought and feeling.

'And I hope I can talk to _you_ Gwen sometime soon, when you are ready of course' Morgana said smiling shyly at her once maidservant.

'Of course' Gwen smiled in response.

Arthur helped himself to breakfast and the rest of us took that as a sign to start as well and conversation flowed easily I noticed relieved. That stopped however as Morgana turned to me and smiled.

'Are you going to tell me what happened last night?' she asked her eyes searching mine for answers.

I held her gaze for as long as I could before lowering them and burying my head in my hands. She had to know eventually but I didn't think hearing it in front of Gwen and Arthur was the best option.

'Merlin?' she asked worried when I didn't reply.

'Morgana maybe it's best if you didn't push' Arthur said trying to help, which of course had the opposite effect as her eyes snapped to his and a cold look of anger that was all too familiar of her exile look from her times with Morgause sprang to her eyes.

'This has nothing to do with you Arthur' Morgana snapped.

'Don't talk to him like that!' Gwen said standing up for him 'He's just trying to help'

'Stop the lot of you' I said interrupting them, I grabbed Morgana's hand calming her and drew her gaze to mine.

'Come on it's probably best I did this in private' I said. I stood and held my hand out to hers which she took without hesitation and we made our way towards the door but she turned and smiled a heartfelt smile to Arthur and Gwen.

'Thanks for breakfast and for being kind to me, I'm sorry for snapping at you Arthur' she said, and I stared at her in shock, this was the first sign of proof I actually had that my girl was changing and I beamed at her in response as did Gwen.

* * *

We made our way through the corridors of the palace and back to Morgana's chambers, I held the door open for her to enter. I closed the door behind her and I leaned against it as I watched her move across the room to the mirror where she straightened her dress and ran a comb through her hair, brushing it back into perfect place and there stood the girl I knew from years before, the girl I had secretly admired from afar. I was terrified in the knowledge that I was about to break her heart.

Her emerald eyes caught mine in the mirror and I stared at her in longing, but held myself back as I knew that the time had come to tell her the truth. However this didn't stop me from admiring her lovely form as she stood with her back towards me. She was slender and curved in at the hips and as I followed my eyes down, her legs seemed to go on forever. I couldn't believe that this girl, this stunningly attractive woman was mine.

'You are _so _beautiful' I told her and watched as she smiled at me through the mirror.

'So are you' she said in reply her eyes darkening in lust as she ran her eyes over me.

I snorted softly in reply, no one really commented on my looks, the knights were all called handsome but the word was never given to me. And when I looked in the mirror all I was a lanky awkward fellow who seriously needed a confidence boost.

She sensed my mood because she turned around and walked towards me her hips swinging softly and I eyed them appreciatively. She took my hands and drew my gaze to hers.

'You don't see yourself very clearly do you?' she asked her eyes staring into mine as if she was trying to gaze into my soul.

'How _do_ you see me?' I asked curious. I wasn't fishing for compliments, I was genuinely curious as to how she viewed me.

'I've never met anyone who looked like you Merlin, even before our bond I appreciated your looks from afar' Morgana whispered stroking her hand down my cheek.

I remembered those looks we had barely been adults then and life had seemed so trivial and innocent then, it was strange to think how much had changed in just a few years.

'Your skin is like none I've seen; it's a beautiful white like snow it's flawless except for when you tinge pink from embarrassment. Your cheekbones make you look mysterious and almost make you look as if you're not from this world. And your eyes captivate me like none I've ever seen; they're the deepest blue and I could lose myself in them when I stare at you. Your lips are a full red and your hair is as black as night which contrasts so beautifully with your dark hair…you ooze power Merlin, and I've never seen another man so beautiful' she finished.

I stared in awe at her speech; never had I been described like that before. Did I relay ooze power? I knew I was a powerful Warlock but never once did I think it came across like that.

'Before I even knew you Morgana the men in Ealdor would tell tales of the famous enchantress Morgana Le fay, they spoke of a creature of seductive elegance and a woman who was apparently the very image of beauty. I used to dream about you before I even knew you. I used to fantasize that one day you would catch my eye and we would instantly fall in love… I never once imagined that my dreams would be so close to reality' I replied.

I watched as a tear slowly escaped her eye and she smiled a slow seductive smile that curled at one side. Her red lips were in full pout and even crying she was stunning and all I wanted was to make the tears stop.

My heart thudded in my chest as I slowly lowered my head towards hers I gently brought my hand up to caress her check and to hold her head in place. I locked my eyes with hers and silently asked for permission which was granted in her lovely green eyes.

My lips touched hers and it was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. Her lips matched mine in a beautiful kiss that made my body hum with energy. I wrapped my hand around her waist and drew her closer moulding my body with hers. She moaned and it was the most erotic thing I had ever heard in my life.

Desire flooded through my body, heavy and strong, I held her harder to my body which was beginning to harden in desire which I couldn't hope to conceal. I couldn't help myself and I bit down gently on her lip and she gasped and I instantly took the chance to explore her mouth with my tongue. It was my turn to moan in delight as she replied in earnest, teasing my tongue into a game of chase that set my body on fire. My magic was screaming to be released it wanted nothing more than to join with hers, it was urging me on, urging me to claim this girl to make her mine, to mark her, take her in any way I could.

As if sensing the urgency Morgana boldly lifted one shapely leg to wrap around my waist giving me the perfect angle to rub against her. The friction was exquisite and we both broke our kiss to groan in delight. She took the chance to breathe and instead of kissing me again she focused her attention on my neck biting and sucking, driving me crazy as I moaned with desire.

I couldn't help myself and grabbed her head to forcefully bring her lips back to mine in a much more aggressive kiss that sought to dominate, to claim her as my own. I pushed her leg down and grasped her hips in an almost punishing grip and pushed her backwards walking her until she tripped and fell back against her bed.

I followed her, climbing atop her as I took the chance to reciprocate her attentions on her own neck. I buried myself in her scent; roses and honey and all things sweet, she was delicious. I groaned again as I felt her tug on one of my ears with her teeth and one of her hands scraped down my back as her other tangled in my hair.

Feeling myself lose control I grasped her hands in one of my larger ones and pinned them above her head startling myself with my own strength. She gasped at my boldness and I watched as her eyes darkened and her lips parted as she panted with exertion.

I smirked at her evilly and lowered my mouth to her covered breasts, the silk did nothing to disguise her hardened nipple and I gently bit through the fabric, she arched her back in response crashing our groins together in delicious friction that made her scream my name.

'Merlin!'

It was this that stopped me as I realised I still hadn't told her everything and I was taking advantage of her in a moment of weakness. I wrenched myself away from her body and threw myself up from the bed horrified that I had taken such liberties with her. I watched as she sat up in confusion and stared at me with a look of hurt.

'What did I do?' She whispered and I closed my eyes in horror as I realised she thought I was rejecting her.

I sighed and shook my head and begged her to understand as I walked back towards the bed and sat down next to her taking her hand in mine.

'It wouldn't be right when I haven't told you everything that happened last night' I said as I attempted to cool my still rock hard body.

'Oh' Morgana replied looking equally as flushed I noticed with some satisfaction.

'Believe me I wanted to, I just don't want to take advantage of you' I whispered to her bringing her hand up to my lips in a kiss of apology.

She winked in reply 'I quite enjoyed it'

'So did I' I laughed. 'But it wouldn't be fair'

'Tell me Merlin'

'Did Morgause ever tell you about me about Emrys?' I asked

She paused to consider and replied 'only that he was a warlock with great power but she believed that he sorry _you _were a figure of legend'

'I see' I replied. 'Kilgharrah told me what my name actually means'

'And what does it mean?' Morgana asked curiosity grabbing at her as her hand tightened on mine.

'It means immortal' I said.

There I had said it. I had told her straight out, I watched as she looked away and a frown came across her beautiful face. I could only hope that she would try to be understanding.

'Do you mean that literally?' She asked and I almost laughed Myself, Arthur and now Morgana had responded in exactly the same way.

'I'm afraid so, I can be killed by mortal means, by magic, sword, poison…but if I escape all these things I will live on, my magic makes it so'

'How?' she asked.

'Magic blessed my birth, I like the dragons am a creature of magic and I was given the quality of living an immortal life. Magic will exist in this world long after everything dies out and since I am _Magic_ it is only logical that I be given the same fate' I replied.

'But…'Morgana paused and then shook her head in confusion.

'What?' I asked.

'I'm your magic mate, we can't live without the other, when I die, surely you will die with me'

'Ah, that's the other part of the problem…since I am the strongest of us my magic has drawn you onto an equal level, not in strength, but in terms of life I'm afraid I've pulled you into all this as well'

'You mean I'm immortal too?' She asked but I didn't need to reply as she read the truth from my eyes.

She turned to look away from me and got up off the bed and walked away from me back to the mirror where she again stared at her reflection refusing to meet my eyes.

'Say something Morgana' I begged hating the silence.

'Never once did I imagine that my life would be like this'

'Who would imagine this…its sick' I replied looking down and I heard her gasp and walk back towards me and grasp my hands.

'You can't help who you are Merlin, and I know you are pure being of selflessness and honour. You are a creature of pure light and I never knew such goodness existed until I met you Merlin'

'But I've caged you to my side forever'

'And I _love_ you, and I can't imagine a better person to be cage too Merlin, think of all the good we will do' Morgana said hope shining in her eyes.

'But Arthur, Gwen, Gaius the knights…they will soon just become distant memories' I said.

'No, they will be fond memories which we will treasure and remember. We aren't alone, remember your dragon will be there to guide the way' Morgana tried to reassure me.

I smiled as I thought of my brother of my heart. Life would never be so lonely if I had Kilgharrah with me, he was my kin and the only creature like me, not even Morgana was a creature of magic like me although she was strong in magic her power didn't exist in comparison to that of mine and Kilgharrah's. My smile disappeared as I realised I still hadn't told her the rest of the story.

She seemed to realise this 'What is it?' She asked.

'Along with making you immortal I've robbed you of the chance of having a family' I said. 'You can never have children by me Morgana, and your bond of Magic Mate will not allow you to have them with anyone else'

I watched as this sunk in and my heart broke as hurt crossed her face and she turned away from me.

'I hate it Morgana, I hate that I've robbed you of the choice, _we've _been robbed of the choice, but I'm afraid my magic was gifted to me, and to me alone, children would inherit the my magic and they would be tainted by it and the balance of the world would be thrown out'

'It would be chaos' Morgana said turning back to me her eyes cold but not in anger just in resignation 'I know how good you are Merlin and I know that I would fear for my life if anyone else had your kind of power'

I nodded in reply and watched as she walked back towards me and sat on the bed again and took my hand in her.

'Is that it then' she asked smiling slightly attempting to make light of the situation 'nothing else?'

I laughed 'no' I said in relief.

'It will be hard Merlin of that I have no doubt and there will be times when we will probably be lonely, but we must accept that everything happens for a reason…we should be happy that we will always at least have each other' she said and smiled at me.

'With you by my side my love I can face anything' I said and gently kissed her lips in a light kiss that made her beam in happiness. And I smiled back as my worries disappeared.

* * *

**Yeah… don't think that it's going stay happy and lovey dovey for long. Next chapter-Morgana gets seriously pissed when Merlin tells her that Mordred is a threat. Let's just say that someone is going to get hurt!**

**Please review... this chapter took me all night!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here goes chapter 14 then….Don't hate me!**

**This was meant to be up a lot sooner but I got a bit stuck with this chapter because it's such a big one in terms of Merlin and Morgana's relationship and well…it was difficult.**

**Now this is in third person because well…as you'll see Merlin gets a bit incapacitated at one point.**

* * *

Merlin and Morgana had passed the rest of the afternoon lazing around Morgana's bed chambers sharing sweet kisses and generally enjoying each other's company. Merlin finally felt like his life was coming together his magic was out in the open, Arthur was safe and he had a girl to love that meant everything to him.

The only thing that was worrying him then was the small matter of Mordred and his imposing threat Morgana had seen in the dream and what Kilgharrah had warned him against. He was destined to kill Arthur and Merlin had sworn a vow that he would find a way to change Arthur's destiny…and maybe he had by bringing Morgana to his side. Their foretold alliance couldn't happen if she was faithful to him. The thought didn't allow Merlin to relax however. In all of their meetings with the druid boy Mordred and Morgana had a close bond and it was obvious they meant a lot to each other. Merlin didn't know how Morgana would react when he told her that he would have to face down Mordred one day.

The problem with Morgana's vision is that there is no way of knowing when Mordred's attack would come. Merlin was dying to know more but was terrified of the reaction he would get when Morgana caught onto his line of thinking.

'Morgana, your vision, did you get a clear look at who was attacking?' Merlin asked playing with a strand of Morgana's hair. She turned to look at him with a confused expression; obviously wondering what had brought this on.

'No, he or she had a hood up, but there was something familiar about them' she said turning away again and cuddling into Merlin's side.

Merlin tried to ignore to buzz of energy that swept through him at the contact and forced himself to clear his mind and focus on the job ahead not on Morgana's body which pressed so invitingly against his side fitting together perfectly…_stop!_

'So there was nothing to indicate when it was or who it was?' Merlin asked.

'No, you and Arthur all looked a bit older but not drastically older' Morgana said.

'And you're sure you didn't recognise the person?' Merlin asked again.

'Merlin I've said no, what has got you so worried? The future changes all the time you shouldn't rely on my visions as fact' Morgana said.

'Yes but I talked to Kilgharrah about it last night and…well…he had some words to say on the subject' Merlin said nervously.

'Oh?' Morgana said sitting up now 'Did he tell you who it was?'

'Not in so many words he did so in his usual cryptic fashion, but yes I think I have a good idea who it was' Merlin replied.

'That's brilliant Merlin!' Morgana said clearly pleased that Merlin had the upper hand, but she frowned as Merlin shook his head and made to stand.

'What is it Merlin?' Morgana asked.

'It's not going to be something you want to hear, but it has to be done you need to know the truth' Merlin said offering his hand to Morgana and pulling her up from the bed.

'Well, you've already told me I'm immortal and can't have children…what can be worse than that?' Morgana asked and watched bemused as Merlin winced in reply.

'Come, this should be something Arthur and the rest hear as well' Merlin said and dragged a confused Morgana out the door to the council chambers.

* * *

Everyone was sat down in the council chambers except for Merlin who was stood up pacing, Gwaine was smiling Percival looked bored Elyan and Leon confused and Arthur, Gwen and Morgana were all getting neck ache from following his incessant pacing.

'Merlin either spit it out or sit down!' Arthur at last exploded, which caused Merlin to stop and stare at him with a look of pure fear which made Arthur stare back confused.

'Whatever is the matter?' Arthur asked again.

'Morgana had a vision, that night when I kicked you all out her room' Merlin answered. It was Morgana's turn to look shocked.

'Merlin, my dreams are private!' she said.

'I know that, my love and I wouldn't reveal them if I didn't have cause' Merlin said.

'What do you mean she had a vision?' Gwaine asked confused. Merlin turned to look at the rest of the round table and realised it was only Arthur that knew about Morgana's talent for seeing the future.

'Morgana has a talent, for seeing the future, visions come to her in dreams, sometimes they mean nothing sometimes they can be more important…'Merlin veered off confused as to how he should explain it, luckily morgana took over.

'I see terrible things, death destruction, sometimes I see future's which are decades away with nothing to do with any of us, they are easy to ignore but sometimes I see something which will affect you all' Morgana said.

'Cool, can you see if Arthur will ever pluck up the courage to ask Gwen to marry him?' Gwaine asked cheekily.

'Gwaine!' Arthur and Gwen yelled shocked.

Morgana chuckled and replied 'No, my visions aren't subjective I can't decide what I want to see, but this time I saw a hooded figure, he was attacking Camelot and well it's made _Merlin _worried' she finished off sarcastically.

'Yes and for good reason' Merlin said holding her gaze for a long minute whilst the rest of the table stared at them in confusion.

'So were going to be attacked?' Percival questioned confused.

'It certainly looks that way' Merlin said.

'No it doesn't' Morgana replied 'the future can always change'

'Not this future Morgana not when you learn who it is that will attack' Merlin said.

'So you know who it is?' Arthur questioned.

'The dragon mentioned it' Merlin said and then resumed his pacing.

'What's got you so worked up Merlin; I thought you were meant to be the most powerful warlock ever?' Gwen asked.

'I'm not invincible Gwen there are some things I can't stop no matter how much I may want to' Merlin said.

'For the love of God Merlin will you just tell us' Arthur said.

'There is a prophecy written at the same time mine and yours was written Arthur' Merlin said speaking to him now. 'But there is another concerning you and another man who will be your doom…this future you cannot escape and no matter how much I try to protect you I cannot change it' Merlin said.

'So you're telling me this hooded man is my end?' Arthur said now giving Merlin is full attention, Gwen had grabbed his hand.

'I'm afraid so' Merlin said.

'Well who is it?' Morgana said.

'You know him better than anyone here Morgana, its Mordred' Merlin said.

The silence that followed was the worst Merlin had ever experienced, even when he had been locked up in the dungeons by Arthur. He did not break his gaze with Morgana and forced himself to stare into her eyes. They gave nothing away.

'That boy who we got out of Camelot?' Arthur asked.

'I'm afraid so' Merlin said still staring at Morgana.

'What's this got to do with Morgana?' Leon asked now eyeing Morgana suspiciously.

'The prophets also speak of an alliance between Morgana and Mordred that will bring down Albion, a bond that no one can break' Merlin said still staring at her as everyone now did the same.

It was Morgana's turn to stand now and walk to the council window and stare out into the court yard.

'So I'm destined to be evil?' Morgana said 'I thought I'd proven myself to you Merlin'

'You have Morgana, our bond as magic mates is something that destiny did not predict… I am hoping that means Mordred will be on his own, and with you on our side I am also hoping that I can keep Arthur alive and safe'

'How?' Morgana said now turning back to face Merlin her eyes cold and familiar anger rose up in them 'By killing him?'

Merlin stepped forward his arms crossed 'My loyalty has and will always be to Arthur Morgana, if Mordred attacks Camelot I will kill him with or without your help'

'So you assume his guilt, he's just a boy' Morgana whispered venom dripping from her mouth.

'No he's matured into a powerful threat Morgana' Merlin said.

'And who told you that Merlin?... the dragon?... You believe anything that dragon tells you without questioning him!' Morgana said her voice raising a notch.

'I trust Kilgharrah with my life he is my kin and brother of my heart there is no one I trust more' Merlin said.

'Just like you trusted him when he told you to poison me' Morgana said her eyes glaring at him now.

The rest of the table gasped as Morgana said this staring from Merlin to Morgana in shock.

'I've told you before Morgana it was you or the rest of Camelot, I cared about you even then, but you had chosen your side, you had chosen Morgause'

'DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HER!' Morgana screamed, making everyone jump, she shook herself then brought her voice back down 'You have no right, you never gave me a chance Merlin'

'I gave you hundreds Morgana I told you to go to the druids I healed you a number of times, I cried in my bed faced with the choice of killing you but I always let you live, you made the choice to turn Morgana' Merlin kept his voice calm and placating trying with all his heart to make her see reason.

'But you kept your own secret to yourself didn't you Merlin, you didn't think that I deserved someone to confine in'

'I knew your destiny Morgana, how could I have told you when you were foretold to bring destruction to Camelot?'

'Well the future has changed and Mordred can change too!' Morgana said.

'And I will give him every chance Morgana, but I will not allow him to live if he steps forward to attack Camelot'

'I will stop you!' Morgana said coming closer to Merlin now and almost ran to his side as she realised tears were dripping down his face.

'You would choose him over me?' Merlin asked his voice now devoid of any emotion.

'If you chose to kill him Merlin I will stop you Magic mate or not' Morgana said.

'He is evil Morgana don't be drawn in by his lies, he has a job to do and he will use you to do it'

'YOU'RE THE LIER!' Morgana screamed her temper now out of control making Arthur stand from his shocked state and come to stand with Merlin.

'HE'S NOT EVIL, I WON'T BELIEVE IT!' Morgana screamed at them.

She was losing control Merlin could see it she was shaking with anger and it was all directed at Merlin making his heart break with his love for her. He would do anything to help her but right now she was beyond help.

'Morgana try to calm down' Arthur said trying a help.

'YOU TWO ARE THE EVIL ONES YOU CARE ABOUT NO ONE BUT EACH OTHER YOU'RE BOTH JUST LIKE UTHER!' she thundered at them both.

'Morgana please, I didn't want to tell you I know how much you care about him' Merlin said dropping to his knees near her, his heart breaking with the force of her hate which was directed at him.

'I won't let you destroy one of my kind Emrys' Morgana said now standing to her full height.

Merlin got back to his feet, the Morgana he knew and loved was gone and all that stood in front of him was a girl shrouded in hate, determined to protect someone she loved. He admired her for that but when it came to Mordred she was blinded from the truth.

'Morgana please, you're breaking my heart' Merlin said hating the sound of his own pathetic voice.

'Let's break it properly then' Morgana said an evil smile touching her face.

'_Ástríce__' _Morgana shouted forcing her hand upwards.

Merlin was shocked he hastily raised a shield to protect both himself and Arthur. He couldn't believe It. She and used magic against him. His heart was breaking it felt like the world was falling apart.

'Morgana please I don't want to fight you' Merlin said. The rest of the occupants of the room and flew to the sides trying to keep out of the way of the now enraged Morgana.

'Morgana…' Arthur tried but she flung another stunning spell at him which Merlin immediately intercepted standing in front of his king and best friend.

'Don't harm him Morgana, this is between you and me' Merlin said.

'You always did choose him over anyone Merlin let's see how far you are willing to go' Morgana said.

Her hair seemed darker than its usually raven black it was cast in shadow. Her face radiated pure dark magic and hatred.

'_Forbærne! Ácwele' _

A stream of fireballs shot towards Merlin and he instinctively poured more magic into his shield, he knew he could beat Morgana easily, but his heart wouldn't let him attack back. Morgana knew this and was using it to her full advantage.

'I thought you were meant to be strong Emrys… I see no evidence of that'

'I refuse to attack you Morgana, I love you, nothing will change that, not even you killing me all that will achieve is you killing yourself, you know this'

'Or maybe it will free me from these ridiculous feelings!' Morgana spat at him.

Tears now streamed down Merlin's face at the words, how could she say that? she had given him her heart earlier this morning. Remembering the passion they had shared gave Merlin a new intense feeling of grief as he realized he might not get to feel that again.

'You don't mean that Morgana please' Merlin begged 'please don't' Arthur had backed off now the horror of situation setting in.

Morgana sent another stunning spell at Merlin and this time she curved the strike so that at the last minute when Merlin raised his shield it shot around and hit him from the back. Merlin felt the force of the strike like a knife to his heart and could do nothing as he fell to his knees; blackness shrouded his eyes and he passed out lifeless on the floor.

Everyone in the room including Morgana stared in shock. Emrys was defeated.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?' Arthur screamed at Morgana drawing his sword.

Morgana had no reply and just stared at Merlin's lifeless figure. The anger and hate was drifting from her eyes and a sense of despair overtook her as she realized she had attacked her magic mate. The pain she had been holding back during their fight returned full force and Morgana fell to her knees and screamed. She screamed and screamed louder than when Morgause had been struck in this very room.

The doors to the chambers opened and Gaius rushed in, he assessed the situation quickly and ran to Merlin's side turning him over and cradling him in his arms. Seeing his unconscious face made Morgana scream more and caused the rest of the occupants to put hands over the ears.

Gwen was the first to recover and rushed to where Merlin was lying. 'Is he okay?'

'I'm not sure… what happened?' Gaius asked loudly over Morgana's screaming.

'They had a fight about Mordred; she got mad and attacked him'

'Oh' Gaius said.

'Will he be okay?' Arthur asked his voice breaking, the question seemed to calm Morgana as she waited for an answer.

'I'm not sure, the heart break of it coming from her might be enough to kill him' Gaius said turning his eyes to Morgana, he showed no anger towards her just disappointment.

'Merlin?' Morgana whispered and tried to crawl over to him but was restrained by Leon and Gwaine who she didn't try to fight.

'Merlin my love?' she whispered again 'Oh what have I done?'

'Leon, take her to the dungeons out of my sight, until I figure out what to do with her, put on those magic binding shackles' Arthur instructed eyeing her with disgust.

'No please I can't leave him'

'You just did when you knocked him unconscious Morgana, you don't deserve him' Arthur said glaring at her.

His hatred for her caused her to break down again and she sobbed heart wrenching sobs as she let the pain engulf her. Leon lifted her into his arms and took her out of the room her sobs echoed down the hall. It was only when the place was quiet that Arthur went to his friend's side.

'I thought he was stronger than her?' Arthur asked Gaius.

'He is, but Merlin is a kind soul and loves Morgana very much I doubt he would have wanted to retaliate'

'Will he be okay?' he asked again.

'I'm not sure, locking Morgana away and keeping them apart might not be a good idea for their health' Gaius said.

'But how can I trust her?' Arthur said 'She almost killed my best friend' he reached out and brushed the hair back from Merlin's sweaty forehead.

'You must understand the bond between her and Mordred, its very nearly as strong as the one she now shares with Merlin, I'm sure she is very confused right now and regrets her actions' Gaius said.

'You must remember' Gaius continued as Arthur frowned 'She has only recently changed sides, her world has been turned upside down and she feels helpless'

'That doesn't give her an excuse to attack Merlin!' Arthur said.

'Of course not' Gaius said 'we will have to just wait it out, come we must get him to my chambers'

'Let me' said the deep voice of Percival who scooped the young Warlock into his arms as if he weighed nothing.

Gaius led the way and everyone one followed in strange melancholy fashion. Depression was the now the highlight of the morning as everyone wondered how the hell they were going to get out of this mess.

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**Don't hate me…you have to remember that she's an evil character. Think of her as a recovering alcoholic she's stopped her evil ways but put temptation in her path and she may stray. And what bigger temptation is there than Mordred?**

**It will get better promise! Deal with the angst now and the fun comes later!**

**Please review! =]**


	15. Chapter 15

**Don't get your hopes up this is a just a reflective for Morgana as she realises what she's done. **

**By the way some of you are asking, 'How Morganas character is related to Mordred's?'….if you're asking that then you clearly haven't watched the episodes closely especially the ones in season 2. My suggestion go watch 'the beginning of the end' 'the nightmare begins' and 'the witch's quickening' then see if you need to ask that question again *eye roll***

**I will attempt this in first person! Be gentle.**

* * *

I offered up no objection or fight when Leon carried me to the dungeons, in fact if I had been forced to walk I don't think I'd of made it. I have attacked and injured the very person who has shown me the light, the only light I have seen for the past few years. At first the thought of being tied to someone so completely was abhorrent to me, after Uther kept me caged and bound in secrecy denying who I am made me fear my feelings for Merlin. But it's only now that I've hurt the one I love most that I realise how much he meant to me.

Although he never revealed his secret to me, Merlin was always there when I was discovering my power gently trying to guide me in the right direction, but I ignored his and Gaius's advice and threw myself at my sister, the first person I thought, whoever appreciated me for my talents.

It is only now as I am gently put in the dungeon with the shackles cutting off my magic that I realise that I was always appreciated with or without my magic. Gwen appreciated my once sisterly friendship and Arthur appreciated my constant support and advice, Merlin appreciated the friendship we had despite him being of a lower class, and I suppose he always appreciated my looks too, I smile at the thought.

I curl myself into a ball, all my thoughts of him, this morning had been perfect the passion he had showed when he was kissing me and the feelings he brought out of me was unbelievable, I have never felt like that in all my years. Even the few stolen kisses I had had received from some handsome knights or nobleman hadn't come close to the feelings Merlin aroused in me. His magic, oh so powerful was calling to mine feeding off my soul and I wanted nothing more than to lose myself to his touch. It hurts to think I may never get the chance to relive the experience.

I hadn't meant to react so strongly, I can't deny that where Mordred is concerned I seem to lose all rational thought. I can't help but picture him a sweet innocent blue eyed child that needs my protection. I can't help but recognise something in him which calls to something in me. I don't know what it is, maybe some motherly protection that I never received from my mother. It certainly doesn't compare to how I feel about Merlin, but when he said he would do anything to protect Arthur I couldn't help but see red.

Arthur is changing his views to magic, I see that, I believe in him, but when someone threatens my kind I can't help but bring up all the past memories of Uther mercilessly killing thousands, children, and adults with or without proof of their supposed crimes. The homes he destroyed the family's he ripped apart. All of those memories eat at my soul, and I can't help but feel I should be doing something about it. I am not a patient girl; I will be the first one to admit that. But getting revenge I realise only brings about heartache.

The heartache I feel now is clawing at my skin. It's an ache deep in my gut that won't go away. I sense through my bond with Merlin that he is lying somewhere upstairs unresponsive and cold to the touch. I did that to him, the thought creates a sharp pain that goes straight to my heart and I cry out loud ignoring the guard who looks at me in alarm.

I want so much to fix it, to fix the situation but I can't, I am locked up with my magic bound and I know I have no right to see him. He put so much trust in me and I threw it aside over some misguided attempt to protect a boy I realise I hardly know. On the one hand I can't help but think that Merlin and Kilgharrah don't know him either and that mine and Merlin's destiny are proof that it can be changed. But instead of reasoning with the love of my life I had thrown him across the council chambers in a fit of uncontrolled magic.

Remembering how he begged me to stop, telling me he loved me, repeats over and over in my head. It is giving me a headache that I know will not go away until I confront Merlin. I wonder how badly injured he is, the strike was meant to stun not kill but I know by the feeling the courses through my magic that I have made things worse by being his magic mate. To have your soul mate, you're everything, attack you must have made my magic more potent, still a force Merlin could have easily stopped. But like me he was overcome by the situation and was in no state to fight the love of his life.

My bond with him is calling to him, I wonder if he'll wake without me being there. I can only wait and hope but I know it won't be long before, even unconscious Merlin starts to feel the pain of our separation as well. This is probably the worst thing about our bond that when we need space from one another, it's not possible for a long length of time. Recalling Arthur's fury though, I doubt whether I'll ever be allowed to leave here again. I know that if it wasn't for my connection with Merlin I would probably have already been burned.

I have never seen such loyalty between two people before. Their bond is strong and part of me is jealous, anyone would be. But I know deep down that I wouldn't want to come between them and neither would Gwen. They love each other deeply and together I know they will shape a better future that I could never have achieved as Queen. Arthur will be a great king with Merlin by his side.

The shackles are cutting off my magic, there making the pain worse, it is coursing through my body without the resistance that my magic would normally give. I wonder if I can persuade Arthur to take them off when he undoubtedly comes to visit me. I am not going to break out; I will respect my brother's decision even though I want nothing more than to run to Merlin's side. But I will accept my punishment; it is only what I deserve for attacking him, I can only hope that somewhere in the castle Merlin is too out cold to be feeling this too.

Everything that we have achieved in the short time I have been here will now have to start again, Arthur no doubt will never trust me fully again and after our argument I'm sure Merlin will doubt who I love more, Mordred or him, though the answer is obvious. Gwen will be more terrified of me more than ever and I will have to face the knight's suspicious glares and Gaius heartfelt disappointment.

I have never wished so much in my life that I could rewind time, I know Merlin has the talent and I wish for once that I had his gift and power. But power I realise does not belong in my hands. Despite my own quite impressive supply of magic it is nothing compared to Merlin's and I know that if I had that power I would not remain good and sane for long. Power corrupts, I see that now, magic is not good or evil it just is. It is made evil by people like me, by people like my sister who use it for their own ends. It brings to light just how selfless and loving Merlin is and not for once I feel totally awed by him and blown away that he is mine. Despite my attack he is still mine. I feel our bond and although it is now tainted it is still as powerful and wants nothing more than to be reunited with Merlin.

I can only hope that his and mine new found immortality will help us through this. Despite the initial shock of being told I could live for a very, very long time and the fact I will never carry Merlin's child, I am thankful that I have forever to make up for my mistake. For the rest of our long lives I will attempt apologise for what I have done to my love. I can only hope that it will be enough.

* * *

**Well there you go, not very exciting or long but it had to be done…this is a multi-chapter story guys and cannot be rushed it will only be very anti climatic if it is.**

**Hope you enjoyed it anyway! Please review it will get me through work tomorrow! =]**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for all your kind reviews! They really keep me motivated. Here's chapter 16!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters no matter how much I may want to. **

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Percival had swiftly carried Merlin down to Gaius's chambers which Arthur had to admit were actually clean and tidy for once, he realised with a start that Merlin had been staying with Morgana, so Gaius's chambers were reasonably less clutter free. Percival gently laid Merlin down on the bed Gaius used to treat patients then immediately stood back. Arthur couldn't quite believe what had happened this morning. Morgana had flipped out at the very mention of Mordred and had actually attacked her so called magic mate, the one person she couldn't live without, it all seemed rather back to front to him.

Arthur didn't really get why Morgana had got so angry it wasn't as if _she_ was destined to die by the boy's hand. The news had startled Arthur; the fact that his life had already been mapped out was starting to get to him. His life had been predicted down to his eventual death and Arthur began to wonder if he actually had any choice in the matter. Merlin had seemed confident though that he could prevent his death by Mordred and that confidence had spurred Morgana to violence.

He was sure she regretted it now, her heartbroken face had said it all when she had finally realised what she had done, but for now, Arthur couldn't and wouldn't forgive her, his best friend was lying still, his face gaunt and unmoving because of her. Along with that Merlin was Camelot's best line of defence in the face of a magical attack as it was becoming swiftly obvious that Morgana could not be trusted to guard her emotions.

He could see where Morgana was coming from of course; Mordred had seemed like such a sweet little boy, quiet perhaps with a mysterious aura to him but a nice boy all the same who was caught up in Uther's quest for the death of all magic users. The fact that he could turn into such an evil force of power seemed rather remarkable to Arthur. But then again as he gazed down at the unconscious Merlin, power It seemed came in all shapes and forms and in people who you least expected to wield any.

Gaius was bustling around his ward checking his temperature and pulse and bathing his head in a cool cloth, despite this Merlin showed no signs of life.

'Will he live?' a voice came from the back of room to where Gwaine was standing looking worried.

'I don't know he seems to be in a very deep sleep and I don't know how to call him out of it' Gaius responded never taking his eyes of the sleeping Merlin.

Gaius and Merlin were obviously very close; the son Gaius had never had and the Father Merlin had never known. He had been there to guide Merlin, to give him an ear to all his magical concerns and to lift his spirits when things had seemed impossible. Morgana, Arthur realised had not had any of those things and the thought gave him a slight pain in his chest which he instantly dismissed, he couldn't afford to feel sorry for Morgana now, not when Merlin was in such a grave situation.

Gwaine came forward now and rested his hand on Merlin's shoulder, Gwaine was another person Merlin was close with Arthur realised. In fact when he looked around the room Leon, Elyan, Gwen and Percival were all staring compassionately at the young man. Merlin, Arthur realised had a way of touching everyone's heart. He was kind and selfless and the sort of man who inspired loyalty and respect despite their often teasing relationships. The thought brought another burst of anger directed at Morgana for doing this to him. He was right when he had said that she didn't deserve him. It was hard to think of anyone who would. Merlin was the very essence of all things innocent pure and good. Even his magic when it was cast, created a feeling in Arthur of comfort and safety.

'I'm going to kill her' Gwaine continued looking protectively down at his friend.

'Don't be stupid' Gwen said stepping forward now 'You do that and you kill Merlin remember?' Gwaine frowned in response.

'I don't think Merlin would have wanted anything done to her magic mate or not' Gaius said,

'He understands her bond with Mordred, I just don't think he realised how deep it went' Gaius continued

'What _is _their connection?' Arthur asked speaking for the first time.

'They are connected through destiny, and magic, they were foretold to form a great alliance that would mean destruction to you and to Albion' Gaius replied.

'And now that's changed?' Arthur asked confused.

'It would seem so, the bond Merlin now shares with Morgana will have overthrown destiny and now it seems Mordred will have to fight on his own, which will mean good news for you Arthur'

'But you just said their bond was strong and Morgana had certainly made her opinion clear on the matter when she knocked Merlin unconscious' Arthur said.

'It is strong but it doesn't come close to what she now feels for Merlin'

'Then why did she attack him?' Arthur asked frustrated now.

'Oh Arthur I'm sure she didn't mean to' Gwen said before Gaius could reply.

'She certainly looked like she meant to' said Gwaine.

'No, she didn't she was inconsolable when I took her to the dungeons, she wasn't revelling in her victory' Leon said.

'You must understand Morgana has had her world turned upside down, everything she thought she stood for with Morgause she is being forced to question, all she has ever wanted is to be accepted and she was willing to do anything to achieve this with Morgause…now Merlin has forced her to question everything she fought for…what she must be feeling would drive any of us slightly mad' Gaius said.

'Then you forgive her for what she has done?' Elyan asked now.

'Yes, as must all of you as I am sure Merlin already does' Gaius replied looking down at his slumbering ward.

Staring at merlin, a rush of brotherly affection and love swept over Arthur, and he wanted nothing more than to shield him from everyone and everything.

'I don't think that will be easy' Arthur said. No one had anything to say back to him on that.

A groan of what sounded like pain escaped from Merlin and everyone turned their attention back to him, his once still form was now tossing and turning and sweat was beginning to form on his brow. His lips parted and incoherent mutterings began to form on his tongue some were words that Arthur realised were a different language.

Gaius rushed to his side and checked him over,

'Merlin?' he questioned and gently shook him by the shoulders.

'I'm s…so…sorry Mother, I didn't…mean too…it just happens' Merlin stuttered his eyes flickering under closed lids.

'Merlin?' Gaius questioned 'your mother isn't here she's in Ealdor' Gaius tried to tell him.

'What's going on?' Arthur questioned but Gaius just shrugged in reply.

'WILL!' Merlin suddenly screamed as his eyes flashed open and turned gold and then shut again.

'What the _hell_ is going on?' Gwaine now repeated Arthur's earlier question.

'I don't know Merlin's friend Will has been dead for years now' Gaius said confused.

Arthur remembered William from the time he had helped save Merlin's home village from bandits. He suddenly realised that the windstorm Merlin's friend had supposedly cast up was most likely in fact Merlin. They had seemed close, Arthur remembered Merlin crying over his death, and he wondered why he was thinking of him now.

'Will…pl...Please…I'm not…evil!' Merlin stuttered again. Gwen gasped and brought her hands up to her face as tears of confusion began to drip down her cheeks.

'I think I understand now' Gaius said. 'I think he is reliving his most traumatic memories'

'Why?' Arthur asked.

'I don't know, he is in a deep sleep that he can't awaken from and Morgana put him there, the shock of it all must of hit him hard' Gaius said.

'Fr…Freya' Merlin muttered now and Arthur watched as Gaius sighed deeply at the name and rested his hand on his wards shoulder.

'Who's Freya?' Arthur asked.

Gaius looked up at surveyed all of the curious faces in his chambers and shook his head, distressed at something.

'It's not my place to say, and these are deeply personal memories Merlin is remembering, things that I don't think he would ever want to remember'

'Please…please don't die' Merlin whispered. Gaius sighed again and stood up.

'I think it would be best if you all left, I don't think it's fair for Merlin's personal secrets to be revealed this way, please' Gaius said. He made shooing motions with his hands and it was with reluctant faces that everyone left but Arthur.

'You too Arthur' Gaius instructed.

'No please, Gaius I'll ignore everything he says just don't make me leave I need to know he's alright' Arthur begged.

Gaius sighed again and put up his hands in defeat, 'Fine'

Arthur smiled back and pulled up a seat next to Merlin's bed and took his hand in his and stroked the back of it with his thumb.

'You have to get better Merlin, I need you, your friends need you, Morgana needs you' Arthur whispered 'Camelot needs you'

'Ar..Arthur' Merlin whispered and Arthur looked up in hope but his eyes were still closed and realised that his dreams must have turned to him now, the thought wasn't comforting.

'Pr…prat' Merlin whispered again.

Arthur beamed in response, even in his dreams and memories Merlin still bought Arthur down to reality with a well-chosen Merlin insult that Arthur would allow no one else the privilege of calling him. In fact all the knights including Gwaine at times looked startled at the liberties Merlin would take with the King only for Arthur to laugh them off with well returned banter. Their friendship was strong Arthur realised and he hoped it would be enough to bring him out of his coma.

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**Thank you for reading! Next chapter were going for a walk down memory lane as Merlin reveals some of his history at Ealdor, and some of the harder times as working as Prince Arthur's servant. Should be interesting to write as I have to come up with my own Merlin history! **

**You will see why I have done it at the end of the next chapter or perhaps chapter 18!**

**Please review! =]**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay so I'm finally at university woop! Aaaaannd its fresher's week so don't expect any updates for a couple of weeks guy's unless you very lucky!**

**Almost at a hundred reviews! Wonder who will be the hundredth!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

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My heart is bleeding, it was the only way I can describe what I'm feeling. It feels like a strong weight is sitting upon my chest that I cannot shift. That weight is Morgana and her attack against me, I know she loves Mordred and has a strong motherly connection with him but surely our bond matters a whole lot more? The pain is unbearable, my own magic mate put me here, the woman I love used magic against me. I don't want to wake up, I don't want to feel her anger and hate, and I can't bear it.

Despair clutches at my heart, in the distance I hear the hum of voices Arthur and Gaius begging me to wake up. I can't, I want to, my loyalty for Arthur makes me want to wake up but I force myself into a deep sleep, I can't face them right now, I can't face Morgana and her hatred.

I let the agony take me and with it my worst memories begin to flash in front of my eyes, I can't push them away no matter how much I try not to think about them, It is my bodies way of punishing me for not waking up and doing my duty. I am transported back to one of my earlier memories…

_The room is cold, oh so cold, I can't feel my fingers and no matter how much Mother rubs them they stay cold. My feet too are like two blocks of ice. I sit in Mothers arms with blankets wrapped around us. It is winter and it is too cold and damp to light a fire. We are freezing, and my three year old self feels the discomfort and begins to cry a slow aching wail._

'_Merlin, I'm sorry, I can't do anything, what a useless mother I am' Hunith intones in a sorrowful voice, she is watching her son slowly freeze to death and there is no way to stop it._

_I am skin and bones and I feel the chill of the bitter wind against my skin, its icy touch is biting and its sends my frail body into a fit of shivers. I can't bear this I cannot stand it. My three year old self takes action, and uses magic that no child should bear. My eyes glow gold and the fire smokes and sparks and flames hiss into life._

'_Merlin!' Mother shouts thrusting me from her arms 'how many times do I have to tell you, no magic, you can't!'_

_But three year old me does not understand his mother's anger and looks in confusion from her to the now smouldering fire. Although she does not put it, out she walks to the door and shouts outside, and neighbours fall in with branches taking the flames from the fire and thanking and blessing Hunith in awe thinking she started the fire, then going back into the night._

_Mother sighs and turns back to look at three year old me who doesn't understand why his mother is so angry. I saved her, I saved all of them why was what I did so wrong? Mother opens her arms and I waddle over and wrap myself around her legs and together we huddle in front of the fire._

'_You must keep yourself safe Merlin, keep your secret safe, no magic' she repeated at me in stern words and keeping eye contact. It was to be the beginning of a world of secrets for me, from an early age I was told by my mother that my magic was a gift but that I couldn't use it. I could never let anyone know. Slowly as I got older I heard the tales of King Uther and his quest to rid the world of magic and I lived in fear, withdrawing from all people. It would be a long time before I made a friend. _

The memory hurts, living in fear; it is what I have known all my life. Even now I am too afraid to wake up, too afraid to face my demons. I was taught to keep secrets and to trust no one from an early age and mother made sure I didn't use my magic unless necessary but at times my magic was just too instinctual, too uncontrollable for me not to use it. Like the time I saved Will's life…

_It had been a hot summer, the air was thick with humidity it was almost tangible. I was out for a walk to get some fire wood though fire was unwelcome in this heat. There was an old saying in Ealdor 'the sun seeks not to please the farmers and the peasants only to do Misery's bidding'. In other words it was either too hot or far too cold in Ealdor. But we still needed wood to be able to cook so I had gone out with my friend, my only friend Will._

_Ours had been an awkward relationship, because of my magic I had wanted to keep my distance but William had persisted and broken down my barriers and I had slowly started to like him. My only friend. He drew me out of my shell and taught me how to love and appreciate life, the only downfall was that I couldn't tell him about my magic and the secrecy sat between our friendships like a wedge._

'_I think were due a good thunderstorm Merl' Will said a little ahead of me._

_I smiled at his nickname for me. At 16 Will was slightly taller than me with brown hair and boyish good looks, he was strong too, he felt the need to live up to his father's name and become a brilliant swordsman one day. I had no doubt he would do it, when Will committed to something he saw it through just like his dedication to get to know me. It was one of his best qualities and one that endeared him to me especially._

'_It was been very hot' I replied catching him up. I glanced at the sky and saw the darkening skies, 'maybe sooner than later'_

'_Well there's no fire wood here lets cross the river then head back' Will suggested and I nodded and followed his lead._

_We crossed the river just as the rain began to fall, a slow mist at first which then began to get heavier and heavier until huge droplets were splashing into my hair and drenching my clothes. It was loud too and I had to yell to make myself heard._

'_Let's just turn back Will the wood will be damp and won't light anyway!' I yelled, not telling him that I could light it with magic of course._

_He nodded in reply and together we started to jog back towards home, which was when it happened… I was slightly ahead of Will and all of a sudden an air cracking sound of lightning split the air in a beautiful arc of power. It forked into a tree that set the whole thing a blaze and with a flash of fear I saw it break apart and fall towards a terrified Will._

'_WILL!' I screamed, and in the distance I heard Arthur and Gaius react to my screams._

_I had no choice my magic reacted, I could not lose my only friend, I couldn't, I felt raw power surge through me that set my body afire with adrenalin. My eyes flashed gold and the whole tree stopped its movements and hung suspended in mid-air. Will stared up at it in shock and disbelief then relief as he realised he wouldn't be dying today, then from his place on the now muddy ground he turned his shocked eyes to mine which were now glowing a brilliant gold._

'_Move Will' I instructed him, he paused for a moment then scrambled to his feet to my side. My eyes faded gold and the tree crashed loudly to the floor._

_I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, and as the adrenalin faded the horror of my situation came upon me. Will had seen me do magic, I couldn't bear to look at him. All my life Mother had warned me again and again not to tell or show anyone, her one rule and I had disobeyed it._

'_Merlin look at me' Will said. I couldn't, I just couldn't. I felt his hand gently clasp my chin and tilt it to look at him._

'_So you have magic that was pretty impressive wasn't it?' Will said smiling at me. I stared at him in shock._

'_You're not mad at me?' I asked confused._

'_Why would I be mad at you, you_ saved_ my life' Will said staring at me._

'_But my magic is not to be trusted, its evil' I whispered looking back to the ground._

'_How can it be evil, you saved my life Merl?' Will said._

_I looked back up at him and read total acceptance and understanding from him and I smiled back at him. I was free; finally I had a person other than my mother I could finally be honest with. Life had never looked better._

'_You can't tell anyone' I told him._

For two years he kept my secret. We became very close and his death still hurts. He saved Arthur and sacrificed himself. My best friend sacrificed himself for my future best friend; I wish he was here for me to thank him. To thank him for keeping destiny and the future of my kind alive. Of course our secret didn't last, it was only a matter of time before Mother found out, but I did get two brilliant years with Will…

'_HOW COULD YOU MERLIN!' mother screamed at me 'I ASK ONE THING OF YOU MERLIN ONE THING'_

'_I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me' at eighteen this was the first time I had ever heard my mother yell at me, she was a calm loving woman but the knowledge that Will knew my secret had shocked her into anger._

'_You can't stay here Merlin it's not safe anymore' she said shaking her head at me tears filling her eyes._

'_No you can't make me leave, this is my home, Will won't tell, I promise' I begged her tears dripping form my own eyes now as the thought of leaving came to my head._

'_I'm not kicking you out Merlin, but it's becoming obvious that you can't control your magic and sooner or later this is going to get out'_

'_It won't please' I begged._

'_This is a small village Merlin and your powers are becoming stronger I've got no choice but to ask for help'_

'_Help?' I asked confused._

'_You'll go to Gaius and friend of mine who has knowledge in magic perhaps he can help you'_

'_I don't want to leave you, I don't want to leave Will, please mum I've never had a friend before'_

'_I'm sorry merlin' Hunith said hugging me to her._

'_I can't help my magic' I said heartbroken._

'_I know, and it is entirely for that reason that you have to leave'_

And so had begun my trip to Camelot, I was scared and I hadn't wanted to go but it had been for the best. Despite mine and Will's tearful parting. I had finally found a purpose for my magic and that purpose was Arthur. But helping Arthur came with its own personal brand of heart ache. Having to live like a fool and have everyone think you're stupid and powerless was hard at times. But Arthur had a good heart and I knew he had cared for me then in his own way. He didn't show affection like Will had but he was just as loyal and just as good a friend. And now that my secret was out we were closer than ever.

There had been times however when I had wanted nothing to do with my destiny there were times when I felt like giving up. Meeting Freya was one of them…

'_Freya' I cried as I clutched her dying body to me._

_She was my first love that had been cruelly stolen from me. My love for her comes nothing close to what I feel for Morgana but I know that me and Freya would have been close and good friends and I did love her if only briefly._

_She was goodness and light and everything pure despite her curse that she could not help. She had listened to me and had been there to share the beauty of my magic and give me acceptance that I hadn't felt since I had been with Will._

'_I don't want you to go' I whispered to her brokenly tears pouring down my face._

'_Someday Merlin I will repay you, I promise' Freya had said. Her dying words an oath of loyalty to me._

Burying her had almost broken me but it had to be done. She would have liked it in the lake and I hoped she felt like she was home in her last dying moments. I know Avalon will look after her spirit, for the proof I only need to remember the time she gave me Excalibur back from its depths.

I remember with a start the clothes I had buried her in, she had been wearing one of Morgana's silk dresses I noted with irony. It was strange how signs came in the most strangest of ways. I forced my thoughts away from Morgana; I can't think of her I can't… the pain is too much. Instead I force myself deeper into sleep and deeper into painful memories.

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In the dungeons Morgana laid on the cold floors with her hands over head as the pain she felt coming from merlin resonated in her own body. The separation was killing her, and as Merlin pushed himself further into sleep his memories were being lived in her own mind. They were jaw droopingly painful and personal and not something she wanted to intrude on without permission. But she was seeing them all the same, and the pain just increased and increased…

She let the screams take her.

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_**Nice dramatic ending for you there! Hope you like it, let's see if we can get to 100 hundred reviews and then I will take time out of my fresher's week to update for you guys…and for myself because this story is now starting to get more interesting to write now I'm getting into the mix of things.**_

_**Please review!**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello everyone! What's my excuse I hear you ask? I started Uni, I'm enjoying it and getting drunk way too much, and its only eight weeks in that everything is beginning to cool down! By the way my course is a creative writing course so you should all be happy that my writing will get better woop!**

**But I promise you I have not abandoned this story, it will be finished…eventually!**

**Who's enjoying season 5 then? I am, but a little pissed there's no magic reveal yet **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of its characters.**

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Arthur stayed with Merlin throughout the night, watching over him with Gaius. Merlin had got steadily worse, from loud mutterings and fits of movement; he was now still, locked within his own mind and neither anything Arthur or Gaius did made any difference. They had tried everything, Gaius had tried his limited magic to wake him up, Arthur had joked with him, read to him and even on one occasion which no one would ever know about; he had held him and stroked his hair begging him to wake up. None of it had worked and Gaius was beginning to get worried, which was making Arthur worried.

Arthur had never known friendship as deep as the one he shared with Merlin, all his life servants, knights and nobles had bowed before him, never criticising, always complimenting always singing his praises. He was he realised a right spoilt prat, and had been until Merlin had showed up. He taught him to realise that for true friendship you couldn't bring status into that friendship. Despite Merlin being a commoner he had treated Arthur to the disdain he had deserved and nothing had been a bigger reality check to the prince. Slowly through getting to know Merlin, he had changed him, made him into the king he was today, Camelot had a lot to owe Merlin, never mind his magic and all the times he had saved with it.

His initial shock and betrayal he had felt at Merlin's reveal had him questioning everything he had ever known about Merlin. Found him questioning if their friendship had ever been real if he had ever known Merlin properly. It didn't take long for Arthur to realise that Merlin's character had never changed, he was still the same goofy kind hearted boy he had become best friends with, he just had a side to him that was all powerful and wise that came out to play in times of danger.

Arthur was disrupted from his musings by Gaius's door slamming against the wall as Leon strode purposefully into the room, 'You need to come sire'

'What's wrong?' Arthur asked never turning his face away from the slumbering Merlin.

'It's Morgana, she's not well, and she's begging to see him when she isn't screaming'

'Screaming?'

'Yes sire, she seems to be in a lot of pain and is repeating some of the things Merlin was saying earlier' Leon said.

Arthur had known this was coming; he just hadn't wanted to admit it. They were going to need Morgana to help with Merlin, they were magic mates if anything could wake Merlin up it would be her. But Arthur so wanted it to be him, Morgana didn't deserve Merlin, she had put him here, and despite Merlin's obvious love for her, Arthur just couldn't bring himself to trust her, especially after what had been said about the bond between her and Mordred.

'What do you think Gaius?' Arthur asked turning his head to look at Gaius.

'I think that Morgana is his only hope sire. As much as it pains me to admit it' Gaius said.

_Good Arthur thought. I'm not the only one holding a grudge._

'You'll stay with Merlin?' he asked Gaius

'Of course Sire' Gaius said with a bow of his head 'I will come get you directly if there's any change'

Arthur nodded in return, then set off after Leon, through the castle and down to the dungeons, it was a long trip, Arthur felt his feet dragging behind him the reluctance to face Morgana in his every movement. As he got closer he could hear something, something high and haunting , it whispered through the walls and struck at his very soul, it wasn't until he descended the stone stairs to the dungeons that he realised the sound was Morgana.

Walking up to her cell, Arthur forced himself to look in. Morgana was huddled against the back wall in the corner, her dress was ripped, done by herself if looking by the state she was clutching it in her hands was anything to go by. Her hair too was messed alternating between gripping her hair and her dress in anguish. Tear stains littered her cheeks, and the smell of stale vomit reached Arthurs nostrils from the other corner in the cell. Her hands clasped by the magic restraining shackles were obviously not helping her state as he could see from her wrists that they were red raw from where she had been pulling at them.

Arthur thought he had never seen a sight so heart breaking and pitiful in his life. Despite her actions, he felt sorry for her, Morgana's worst fears had been realised, and she was caged without her magic and without Merlin. Arthur reminded himself with a jolt that this was family, she was his sister, and he slowly felt some of his anger slip away.

'Morgana?' Arthur whispered, and got no response. He tried again.

'Sister?'

Morgana's head whipped up in reply and stared at Arthur with wide terrified emerald eyes.

'Arthur, you came' she whispered back.

Arthur gave a big sigh and forced himself not to get angry. He rummaged at his belt and then opened the cell and shut it behind him. He walked towards her, noticing her flinch. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her as he used to do, when she had nightmares and she ran to him in the night for comfort. She started to sob, great heaving sobs.

'I'm so sorry' Morgana whispered.

'Sshh' Arthur whispered rocking her gently.

'I don't know what happened, one minute I was loving Merlin and the next he was saying Mordred was dangerous and I saw black'

'You would choose Mordred over Merlin?' Arthur asked her.

'No of course not, I can't live without Merlin, and I'm dying inside knowing what I did to him' Morgana said.

'Then why did you do it?'

'I don't know, it was just hard to imagine that innocent boy could be such a threat, and all the talk about destiny, my new relationship with Merlin, I felt like everything was closing in on me'

'I understand' Arthur said.

'Do you?' Morgana asked hopefully.

'Well, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through Morgana, and frankly I don't want to. But all I can think of right now is that my best friend is slowly losing his mind up there and it's your entire fault'

'I know' Morgana whispered. Arthur was glad she wasn't trying to deny it.

'Do you really think that Merlin would accuse someone if he had no reason, if he wasn't one hundred per cent sure?'

'No, of course not, Merlin wouldn't play with people's lives like that' Morgana said.

'Then shouldn't we trust him?' Arthur said.

'Of course, but I loved that boy Arthur, loved him as if he was my own son, and if and when he does attack I won't let him harm you or Merlin or anyone else, but neither do I think I could bring myself to destroy him'

'And if Merlin could?' Arthur asked 'Would you stop him?'

There was a long pause were Arthur stared into Morgana's eyes willing her not to lie and tell the truth. Arthur could hear his heart thudding in his chest and knew without a doubt that the answer to this question was either going to make his relationship with Morgana strong again or forever ruin it.

'No,' Morgana whispered in reply.

'Well' Arthur said trying not to show his happiness and relief 'that's all I can ask of you isn't it?'

'Can I see him?' Morgana asked.

'That's the reason I came down, me and Gaius both know you're his only hope'

'I can see everything he is seeing, it's torturing me'

'What is he seeing?'

'His worst memories, his blackest thoughts, his fears' Morgana said, tears starting down her cheek

'Well let's hope you can fix it then' Arthur said trying not to let his worry show.

He pulled Morgana up and then slowly whilst looking her in the eye removed her magic binding shackles. Morgana staggered against the wall as her magic rushed back to her, her eyes shone gold and then returned to emerald. With the comfort of her magic she felt a lot better, not nearly whole though, only Merlin could fix that.

'Thank you' Morgana whispered.

Arthur smiled in reply grasped her hand and the hurried out of the cell and back to Gaius's chambers. Merlin still hadn't changed from when Arthur had left him and seeing him now Morgana ran to his side and fell to her knees by the bed, grasped Merlin's hand and promptly burst into tears.

'Oh what have I done my love?' Morgana whispered kissing his hand 'Can you ever forgive me?'

'If there's something about Merlin's character that will never change Morgana, it is his power to forgive and to see goodness in people' Gaius said and patted her hair comfortingly.

'Can you fix him?' Arthur asked 'Merlin said your prowess was in healing magic'

'I will certainly try'' Morgana said, then surprised both Gaius and Merlin by shifting and straddling Merlin's legs in a rather crude position. Arthur cleared his throat.

'It's necessary' Morgana said.

'I'm sure it is' Arthur said. Trying not to stare as his sister straddled his best friend.

Morgana closed her eyes and focused on Merlin. She leaned forward and put both her hands on Merlin's temples and sought him with her mind. Once again she was drawn into the turmoil that was Merlin's mind has he slowly succumbed to madness. His thoughts were all over the place ranging from love to hate and backwards and forwards. One thought was clear though, he loved Morgana, he missed her, he forgave her, and he just wanted to see her again.

'_I'm here my love' Morgana whispered into his mind._

'_Morgana, help me' Merlin's mind voice replied._

'_I'm sorry for what I did' Morgana said._

'_We'll talk about it later, now use your magic and our bond as magic mates to bring me out of here' Merlin instructed._

_Morgana didn't need to be told how, healing was her forte, her strong point, and the bond with Merlin was strong. Touch was the essence that kept the bond and themselves alive and it would be touch that she would use to bring him out of his own mind._

'Wel cene hole' Morgana incanted.

She opened her eyes and Arthur watched as the brilliant gold that had once inspired fear in his heart now inspired hope as Morgana's golden eyes stared into Merlin's closed ones. Then, eyes still glowing she lowered her head and gently pressed her lips into Merlin's.

When there was no response Morgana began to panic and started to draw away to try again, when suddenly she felt the responding pressure of Merlin's lips on her own. She sighed into their kiss as Merlin slowly sat up and entwined his fingers into Morgana's hair bringing her closer.

Arthur and Gaius turned away to give them privacy despite wanting to rush forward and hug Merlin and tell him how happy they were he was awake.

Merlin forced himself to draw back from the kiss and rest his forehead against Morgana's. He wanted nothing more than to clasp her to his side and never let her go. He knew they had a lot to talk about but for now, that could wait.

'I'm so sorry Merlin' Morgana said.

Hearing Morgana's voice Gaius and Arthur turned back round to see both Merlin and Morgana staring lovingly into each other's eyes as if nothing had gone wrong.

'All couples fight' Merlin said trying to joke.

'Not like us' Morgana said.

'Well, were not a normal couple so it stands to reason that our fighting should be normal too' Merlin said brushing his fingers cross her cheek.

Morgana sighed and tried to address the bridge that was between them,

'I will stand by your reasoning Merlin, I believe you when you say Mordred is dangerous despite how much I want to deny it'

'I will never ask for something you can't give Morgana, when the time comes, if he does attack, you won't have to be there, I promise' Merlin said.

Morgana smiled in reply and Merlin shifted her slightly off his lap, in the company of other's their position did border on impropriety.

'It's good to see you awake my boy' Gaius said.

'It's good to be awake' Merlin said.

Arthur strode up to him and clasped him on the shoulder and smiled one of his rare smiles. Merlin smiled back and clasped his shoulder too.

'You're never boring Merlin' Arthur said.

'I'm glad I entertain you' Merlin said in reply.

Morgana sighed happily and rested her head on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin let go of Arthur and turned his eyes to hers again and gently kissed her forehead.

'You look tired' Merlin said, Morgana just nodded in reply.

'I suggest you both get some sleep' Gaius said.

'Him?' Arthur questioned 'He's done nothing but sleep for the past day'

'Ha!' Merlin said 'If you call that sleeping I don't suggest you try it sometime'

'Fair enough' Arthur said.

Merlin smiled again and grasped the hand of a sleepy Morgana and led her out of the room back to their chambers.

'Do you think that's the last of it?' Arthur asked Gaius

'Sire?' Gaius asked confused.

'The last of their trouble making?'

'I highly doubt it sire' Gaius said.

Arthur smirked; if there's one thing Merlin and his sister had in common it was their talent for causing trouble.

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**There you go! Hope you liked it. You know what to do! Hit that button and hit me with inspiration!**

**=]**


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow, if I had a review for the amount of followers and favourites I've gotten…I'd have a lot of reviews! =]**

**I had a moment writing this were I completely forgot the plot of my own story haha! Don't worry it came back to me! I think planning and writing my ideas down would be really helpful!**

**I think the M label might be kicking in soon guys! If that offends you then fuck off!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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We didn't do much talking; we walked silently if a little awkwardly now we were alone back to Morgana's chambers. Well _our _chambers I reminded myself, since becoming magic mates I knew that I would be spending all my life with Morgana so despite propriety, having rooms together was a logical solution. Just being without her for any number of hours made my stomach clench and my heart beat frantically.

I can't imagine what she went through whilst she was locked up. I was sound asleep, the bond was unconsciously hurting me but Morgana was feeling every second of my pain. That doubled with her guilt and confusion along with her magic being bound had to of hurt. But instead of screaming at me, or arguing with me she was just walking quietly with her hand in mine as we walked along the stone corridors to her chambers.

I let go of her hand to hold the door open for her and she smiled sweetly at me. Chivalry wasn't dead, especially if it got her to smile, anything was better than the deep melancholy that seemed to have taken over. I watched as she left my side and walked to the window to stare out into the court yard below.

'Morgana?' I asked, trying to draw her into a conversation, she didn't reply and I walked over to her and hesitantly wrapped my arms around her from behind. I couldn't repress the sigh of satisfaction that came over me; holding her, feeling her form in my arms was one of the best feelings in the world.

Feeling brave, I moved her long hair slightly dirty from the dungeons away from her shoulder and swept it over her other shoulder so I could gently press kisses to the side of her neck. I couldn't help myself, I wanted everything to go back to the way it was before this happened, I wanted her to love me; I needed her to love me.

'Morgana?' I asked again kissing up to her ear to whisper into it 'please talk to me, scream at me, yell at me but please don't ignore me'

'I'm not mad at you' Morgana whispered bringing up her hands to grasp my own which rested on her stomach.

'Then what is it?' I asked

'I'm mad at myself, for what I did to you, for what I forced you to relive' Morgana whispered brokenly, her voice was full of regret and I turned her quickly to face me.

'Were going to fight Morgana, it's only naturally, you were the darkness to my light, now you're my magic mate, my saving grace, I love you Morgana nothing will change that' I said looking into her beautiful green eyes.

'You love me?' Morgana asked brining her hand up to cup my chin

'Of course I do how could I not?' I asked bending to wrap my arms around her and pull her towards me, moaning slightly as her body pressed against mine, the feeling was exquisite.

'Even after what I did?' Morgana asked pressing kisses along my jaw

'Of…of course' I stuttered, her kisses were driving me mad I wanted nothing more than to loose myself in her.

'I love you too' Morgana said.

Morgana looked hesitantly into my eyes as if asking for permission, I nodded slightly and gasped in anticipation as she pressed her lips against mine. I moaned into it and buried a hand in her hair, as my other grasped her waist and pulled her hips towards mine. I lovingly licked at her lips begging for entrance and wasted no time as she gave it.

Our tongues clashed and it was Morgana's turn to moan as I walked her backwards until she was up against the wall. I didn't know I possessed such a dominant nature, but my body and magic was begging me to touch her, taste her, and make her my own. I moved my kisses to her neck, tracing the shape of the vein that protruded slightly, I gave in and licked it, biting slightly, not hard enough to cause pain but hard enough to leave a mark. I wanted everyone to know that she was mine.

'Merlin' she whispered her eyes were shut and her back was arched into my caress and I couldn't help myself as I swept my kisses lower dipping into her cleavage, revelling in the groan of pleasure that came from her beautiful lips.

'I want you' Morgana whispered.

I stopped my movements and looked into her beautiful face. It was then that I noticed the layer of grime and stained cheeks from past tears, memories from her time in the dungeons. What kind of monster was I that I would take advantage of her when she was feeling most vulnerable? I sighed and shook my head and brought her into a hug.

'Merlin, what is it? Why have you stopped?' Morgana asked, bringing my head up to look at her.

'Not like this Morgana' I whispered and lovingly kissed her nose.

'What do you mean? I want you, don't you want me?' she sounded hurt and vulnerable and I cursed myself for my insensitivity.

'Of course I do, more than anything, but you've just been in the dungeons, and I've been in some sort of coma filled with my worst memories, maybe now isn't the right time' I whispered.

I saw a lot of emotions go past her face, rejections at first which made my heart stop, then confusion and finally acceptance, she smiled and kissed me gently before stepping out of my arms.

'Help me change?' Morgana asked fluttering her eyelashes at me

I groaned in response 'you know how to make a guy lose control my love' I said, and watched as she beamed at my endearment for her.

'I could always get a maid to help' Morgana said, deliberately to annoy me. The thought of anyone touching her, female or male made my heart burst with anger, and it was this that had me pulling her behind the screen and gently pushing her dirty dress from her beautiful figure.

I couldn't help but admire her, her colouring was so like my own but distinctly female, she curved in all the right places with a delicious flat belly that I just wanted to lick. So many men preferred a plump woman but I didn't see the attraction myself. Morgana was all woman, pale silky smooth skin that glowed like the palest snow in winter. And hair so dark and long that she looked every inch the seductress out to tempt me, and she was winning. She wrapped her form only clothed in her undergarments around me and I couldn't help the answering response from my body.

'You sure you won't reconsider?' Morgana asked trailing a finger down my chest and below. I grasped her hand before she could reach her goal and pushed her gently away from me.

'Positive' I said.

I stepped away and moved into her main room and drew her bath using magic to conjure water and heat it up knowing she was watching me.

'You're amazing you know' Morgana said and I turned back around to watch her.

'What do you mean?'

'Your magic, it runs through you, I can feel it. It answers to your every desire and you make it look so easy and effortless.' Morgana said, I noticed the look of envy she sent my way.

'I've never known any different' I told her and beckoned her towards me.

I steadfastly adverted my eyes as she slipped off her undergarments and stepped into the water and lowered herself down. I turned my back once she was in and walked to the window to stare out into the court yard below.

'Do you think people disapprove of us?' Morgana asked, without turning towards her I answered her.

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Sharing chambers and all of this?' she replied.

'You being of noble blood and me a commoner'

'Merlin, don't talk like that, you're the noblest of us all' Morgana replied.

'I don't care what people think, I love you and I can't live without you, literally, people will just have to accept that' I said.

'Yes they will' Morgana said forcefully 'I won't lose you again, I promise'

I smiled and didn't answer, there was no need to, I would never stop loving this girl, this young woman who had entered my life so forcefully. Nobody would take her away from me.

It would only be a few days later until I realised how little I knew.

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**Oooh that little bit of lemony goodness made me a bit hot under the collar…*lights up cigarette* =]**

**Don't smoke kids it's bad for you!**

**Let me know what you think oh faithful readers!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yo! Wassup…so have you heard that S5 is gona be the last season of Merlin…gutted. I don't know how there gona wrap everything up in like 4 episodes and if they don't have a magic reveal I will murder someone!**

**Thanks for your reviews, they made me happy **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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Something was tickling my face, it was soft and smelled of lavender, and I turned my face away and into the sunlight that I felt hit my closed eyelids and I wearily opened them. The sight that greeted me made my heart stop. Morgana was curled into my side her arm over my waist and one of her shapely legs entwined with mine. Her hair spiralled beautifully onto my chest and her lovely face was the picture of innocence.

I had never been so close to her and I felt our bond give a lurch, but I felt no desire to act on it. I had never had a woman so close to me and her presence was soothing and my magic sighed at the closeness creating the warmest feeling of content. I sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead unable to resist. I stoked a finger down her bare arm up to the shoulder where her night dress started. The lace was beautifully sewn obviously done by a seamstress of some talent, but it paled in comparison to Morgana's beauty.

My fingers on her arm made her stir and she rolled away out of the sunlight and then sat up with a start blinking in bewilderment. I laughed and gently ran a hand down her clothed back tracing her spine. She hissed in surprise and turned to face me,

'Merlin' she reached out and cupped my face and I leaned into her touch.

'What is it?' I asked,

'Nothing, just forgot where I was, I think sleeping beside you helps me sleep'

I smiled and kissed her palm then pulled myself out of bed and crossed to the window and stared out at the courtyard below. I was shocked by the time, it was obviously mid-afternoon and I had not been around to serve Arthur.

I wondered at our relationship, was I still expected to be his servant? I was proud to be his servant, but was that what he wanted? I wasn't sure; I was going to have to talk to him about it. Whether we liked it or not our relationship had changed and the ban on magic still existed, by all counts I should be dead. I guess deciding what to do with me wasn't going to be easy, especially since the whole of Camelot knew I was with Morgana and had heard I had magic.

'What are you thinking about?' Morgana asked, I turned and watched in awe of her form as she rose gracefully out of bed and crossed to the screen to change.

'Arthur' I said turning back to the window.

'What about him?' She asked.

'Does he still want me to be his servant? What role do I play now that my magic has been revealed?' I asked this question to myself as well as to Morgana, but it was her that provided the answers.

'Merlin, Arthur just wants you to be his friend, that's all that he's ever wanted from you. He may not show it, but he loves you, he needs you and you need him, I would be a fool to come between you' Morgan said.

'But our friendship has changed so much, I don't know how to behave around him anymore' I answered.

'Just be yourself, your still the same funny, clumsy boy Merlin,'

'Thanks' I said laughing.

'You know what I mean' Morgana said laughing too.

Morgana's advice to be myself was all well and good, but I had never been _myself _around Arthur, not really. I was never free to stand out from the crowd when I was Arthur's servant, I was expected to fill a role and I did. The role being Arthur's idiot loyal servant that answered (albeit with a few choice insults) to his back and call.

'Why don't you just go talk to him?' Morgana asked. She stepped out from behind the screen having managed to do the fastening on her own this time I noticed with some regret.

'You look stunning Morgana' I said. She did, she wore her old silk dress of the richest reds that set of her colouring perfectly, she looked every inch the seductress I knew she was.

'You only say that because the bond tells you too' she replied blushing.

'Don't be silly; it's common knowledge in Camelot that you're the most beautiful woman in the whole of the five kingdoms,'

'Well, I'm all yours' she said winking at me.

'Indeed you are' I whispered never taking my eyes from hers.

I closed the gap between us and gently pulled her body to mine never loosing eye contact. I leaned in and smelled her scent; lavender and honey and all things wonderful. I traced her hair in my fingers feeling its silky softness and lowered my eyes to her lips. They captivated me so; red and full that curved so invitingly that I couldn't resist tasting them. I gently pressed my own against hers and marvelled at her reaction. She sighed into me and wrapped her arms around me bringing me closer. Her lips moved with mine in an intoxicating dance.

It was a slow kiss, nothing of the urgent passion like the past times, but it was still filled with everything we felt for one another, the lust, the love, the bond, the magic. I could feel her magic beneath her skin, not as powerful as my own, but strong, it wanted me to tame it, it wanted me to draw it out of her. I felt my own magic rise beneath my finger tips and I pressed my fingers to her neck and dragged them down to her cleavage.

The response was extraordinary, she let out a scream as my magic touched her and I could feel through our bond the intense pleasure she felt from my magic touch. I pushed magic into my lips too and followed the path my hands had taken to her breasts and gently licked the top of them. She groaned out her pleasure and arched her back into my lips.

'Merlin what are you doing?' she asked me confused not understanding the intense pleasure she was feeling which wasn't normal.

'Magic' I replied cheekily, stopping my movements and rising my eyes to hers.

'That's cheating' she scolded pathetically, trying to catch her breath.

'Not really, I'm just using the advantages of what our bond gives us' I said.

'That's a fancy way of putting cheating' Morgana said smiling now.

I laughed in reply and walked over to the chair where my shirt and jacket were waiting. I stripped off my night shirt and changed aware of Morgana's eyes on me all the time.

'I'm not the only one who's beautiful, Merlin' she said admiringly.

'I'm all yours' I mimicked, and beamed when she laughed, I loved her laugh.

'Come on let's go see what King Pratt is up too' I said and smiled again when she laughed and took my hand.

* * *

We found Arthur in the council chambers as usual; he was lounging on his throne with the knights of the round able around him but not his advisers thankfully as they didn't like Morgana much.

'Ah, look who finally decides to grace us with their magnificent selves' Gwaine said striding forward and collapsing to his knees in mockery.

'Cut it out Gwaine' I said laughing, whilst Morgana blushed at my side.

'Sleep well?' he asked wiggling his eyebrows

'We did actually' I replied not acknowledging his innuendo.

'Really? You'll have to tell me all about it later' Gwaine said and the rest of the knights laughed.

'Gwaine' Arthur scolded.

'Yes princess?'

'That's my sister you're talking about' Arthur said narrowing his eyes.

'That makes it even more exciting I bet eh Merlin?' Gwaine teased and I couldn't help but blush alongside Morgana who wasn't looking anyone in the eye.

'Enough!' Arthur said.

'Right you are Princess'

'This isn't the time for this' Arthur said. And it was only now that I noted the piece of paper in his hand marked with an elegant scrawl.

'What's going on?' I asked.

'I've just received a letter from King Bayard of Mercia, announcing his upcoming visit to acknowledge my coronation which he so elegantly tells me he wasn't invited too.' Arthur said.

'Oh' I said.

This wasn't good, Camelot's history with Bayard wasn't a pleasant one given the past wars it had with Mercia, then there was the business of Nimueh who had tried to frame Bayard for poisoning Arthur with that goblet only to be foiled by me drinking the poison, which only confirmed Bayard's supposed attempt to kill the then Prince.

'It's not good news given our history' Leon said.

'He did try to kill me, I don't see why I should accept him here' Arthur said.

'He didn't try to kill you, that was Nimueh remember, and if I recall it was me that almost died' I said.

'Well forgive me for trying to come up with an excuse to get out of this' Arthur said.

'What's the big deal if he does come?' Elyan asked.

'It would be trouble' Arthur replied 'and it's not a very good time given…' Arthur veered off waving his hand at Morgana.

'I can leave if it would help Arthur' Morgana whispered.

'NO!' I shouted alarm reaching me as my magicmate bond with her spiked in anger at the thought of her leaving me.

'You could sneak out and visit me' Morgana said grasping my hand and squeezing slightly.

'That won't work' Arthur said and everyone turned to stare at him 'News has already spread that you're here Morgana, sending you away would just cause more confusion'

'I doubt Bayard is going to be comfortable knowing that you have two powerful sorcerers in your court Arthur' Leon said. 'His hatred of magic rivals that of Uther''

'Then it will do him good to see magic used for good, besides it might make him think twice before attacking us in the future' Arthur said.

'Maybe were all just assuming the worst, maybe he just wants to congratulate you on your rise to kingship and wish you a happy future' Percival said.

'I doubt that' Gwaine replied.

'Me too' I said.

'Well, I can't refuse him, relations with Mercia is bad and we have vital trades with them, and allies will be needed if the upcoming battle Morgana saw comes to pass' Arthur said looking hesitantly at Morgana as if brining up her vision might send her off into another tantrum.

'The least we can do is hear him out' I said 'and besides, as you said Arthur you have two powerful sorcerers to guard you _and_ Camelot if things get out of hand' I said smiling and giving Morgana's hand a squeezed. Morgana nodded along with me.

'Thank you Merlin' Arthur said 'Thank you Morgana'

'Come on haven't we got a training session to get to?' Gwaine asked.

'Indeed we have' Arthur said.

I watched as the knights began to scramble heading in different directions to collect there things. News of Bayard had unsettled me, perhaps his motives for coming were peaceful but experience of living in Camelot had taught me that state visits were rarely peaceful.

'Quick Merlin, before he goes' Morgana said shaking my hand and bringing me out of my thoughts, I looked at her in confusion.

'Talk to Arthur about your role here' Morgana continued.

'Oh' I nodded and called Arthur's name before he disappeared and watched as he turned back to face me, Morgana smiled at me and with a last squeeze of her hand gave me some privacy to talk to Arthur alone. I ignored the slight ache that came with our separation.

'Can I talk to you?' I asked Arthur who was regarding me warily.

'You_ are_ talking to me' Arthur joked then continued, 'what's wrong, is this about Bayard, don't tell me you've got some magical revelation about him to tell me have you?'

'No' I laughed 'Although his letter does make me nervous'

'Me too' Arthur answered, his honestly surprised me, Arthur never admitted he was worried or scared.

'But if that's not it, then what's wrong?' Arthur asked.

'It's about my job' I said awkwardly avoiding his eyes.

'What about it?' Arthur asked confused.

'Do I still have it?' I asked.

'Do you want it?' Arthur replied.

'Of course I do, I told you once and I'll tell you again, I'm happy to be your servant until the day I die' I said.

'Then you have it' Arthur replied.

'Even with me having magic?' I asked.

'Merlin, I can't repeal the ban on magic now, everyone including me is still in shock about your revelation and Morgana coming here only adds to it' Arthur said 'I'd make you court sorcerer in an instant if I could but you're just going to have to be patient with me.'

I was shocked, I knew the ban on magic wouldn't be lifted yet for a long time, but my secret being revealed had put the steps in motion. But I had no idea that Arthur trusted me enough to be a court sorcerer.

'I'm an honoured that you'd consider putting me in that position Arthur but that's not what I meant' I said.

'Oh' Arthur said confused.

'I meant do you really want me as close to you as I was before, to be seen in public with you when you and everyone else know I have magic?' I asked and a look of realisation came over Arthur's face.

'Of course I do, the quicker people see that you aren't a power crazy beast the quicker I can lift this ban' Arthur said.

'That makes sense' I replied smiling.

'You may be proud to be my servant Merlin but it is_ I_ that is proud to be your friend and King' Arthur said.

I smiled, here was the King that the prophecy spoke of; Arthur the wise and just, this Arthur I knew without a shadow of a doubt would lead me and my people to freedom and a golden age where magic would be accepted, I knew it without a doubt. It was just getting there especially with Bayard and Mordred in the way that would be the problem.

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**Wooooooo! Let me know what you think.**

**Cramp in my fingers so you had better review guys!**


	21. Chapter 21

**So I've been getting some emails asking if people can use my idea of magic mates in their own stories…part of me is very flattered, and another part of me wants to string you up by your toes and pelt rocks at you whilst yelling 'BACK OFF!'**

**But maybe that's a bit extreme, I don't mind you using my idea as long as the story is not a basic copy (then I will pelt rocks at you in the form of lots of nasty emails and spam) however I would appreciate it if you would credit me in your own stories that way people don't think your idea is amazingly original…when it wasn't actually yours!**

**Just so were clear!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

* * *

'Here they come' Morgana said, watching as Bayard's dignitary slowly and regally made their way into Camelot's courtyard.

'Remind me again why Merlin isn't here?' Gwaine said.

'We don't want to overwhelm Bayard besides, he probably doesn't even remember Merlin, why show him when I can keep him as a surprise if Bayard does do anything suspicious' Arthur said.

'Well I think that it's a bad idea' Gwaine said.

'No one cares Gwaine' Arthur said.

'Morgana does, Merlin does' Gwaine replied jauntily.

'Well I'm the king and my word is law' Arthur said arrogantly brushing down his armour and widening his stance as Bayard and his men approached.

'You just say that when you know you've lost the argument' Gwaine said, Morgana laughed at this.

'One more word Gwaine and I'll have you in the stocks for a week' Arthur said.

'My lips are sealed Princess.' Gwaine replied.

Arthur's decision to have Merlin in the background for this visit had caused a very loud verbal sparring match between the pair. Merlin didn't want to leave Morgana on her own, plus he didn't think it was fair that he was being left out. Arthur thought the matter was simple; Bayard was a threat and having Merlin up his sleeve as surprise back-up was a tactical decision.

Remembering Merlin's thoughts on the matter made Arthur shake his head in frustration:

'_Hang on a minute you're going to have Morgana stand loyally by your side when a few days ago she was considered to be your worst enemy, but me the man who has stood by you all these years is being forced into the background?' Merlin had thundered._

'_In case you don't recall Merlin, last time Bayard was here Morgana was my father's ward, having her by my side will show Bayard that this was nothing more than a family dispute which we've put behind us' Arthur replied._

'_And I just have to sit quietly and play the dumb servant?' Merlin said._

'_Merlin you know I don't think that of you' Arthur said._

'_Only because you're downright scared of me Arthur, admit it!' Merlin said 'You didn't give me another glance before you knew of my magic!'_

_Arthur had refused to rise to the insults that he knew Merlin didn't mean and instead tried to keep a level head. Merlin was just upset, he wanted to be there for both Arthur and Morgana and when he had been told he couldn't he was obviously going to be a bit mad about it._

'_Merlin, I've always thought you were the bravest man I've ever known, even before you had magic' Arthur said watching as Merlin raised his eyebrows in surprise._

'_I need you to trust me on this' Arthur said and watched as Merlin struggled with himself and then sighed with frustration._

'_If one hair on either yours of hers head is hurt…damn it on ANYONES head someone is going to pay big time' Merlin said._

_The look in Merlin's eyes was filled with confidence and Arthur knew that despite his humorous words he was deadly serious. But beneath that Arthur knew that he was terrified of leaving Morgana for any period of time._

'_I will look after her Merlin she's my sister, I love her' Arthur said._

'_And who's going to look after you?' Merlin asked._

'_Look Merlin please will you just play the helpless servant for the week he's here, please I'm begging you' Arthur said._

'_Fine' _

And with that he had walked out room and slammed the door with surprising force. Arthur shook his head and focused on Bayard's approach. Now was not the time to be thinking of Merlin, now was the time to play the court politics Uther had instructed him in since the day he was born.

'King Bayard of Mercia, we are honoured to have you here in Camelot I hope you will have a pleasant visit' Arthur said in his kingly voice he only used for occasions such as this.

'Well, well, well, what have we here?' Bayard said from astride his horse 'The prince has finally grown up'

Arthur forced back his irritation and smiled his most charming smile.

'Indeed I have'

Bayard smirked at him coldly and then dismounted in one graceful leap and threw his reins into the hands of one of Camelot's stable hands. Bayard hadn't changed much in appearance in his four years of absence; in fact he looked very much the same. His hair was a golden brown and hung to his shoulder and his beard was neatly trimmed, the only signs of aging were the slight wrinkles around his eyes which proclaimed a wisdom and sharp intellect that Arthur grudgingly respected. Cloaked in shades of blue as were the colours of Mercia and with a golden crown on his head he looked every inch the experienced king something Arthur hoped he would be able to match someday.

Arthur watched as Bayard looked him up and down then dismissed him as unimportant however his gaze swept through Arthurs knights and men until they rested on Morgana who was dressed in green silk and looked every inch the beautiful princess, Arthur forced himself not to flinch as Bayard's eyes narrowed in interest.

'Ah the beautiful Lady Morgana le Fay or as I have heard Pendragon it is now?' Bayard said with a smirk 'I heard about your going up in the world'

Arthur had to give it to Morgana, her year of absence had done nothing to diminish her royal grace and her ability to deal with the foreign king. She simply smiled a slight smile and offered her hand to the king, her eyes showing nothing of the distaste she had to feel in letting another man touch her.

'As beautiful as ever and much more impressive now you have all that power' Bayard said lowering his lips to kiss her hand.

'Tell me what is a high priestess like yourself doing standing by Arthur's side, one who hates your kind with a passion I might add' Bayard said his hand still on hers.

Morgana gently removed her hand with a purpose and narrowed her eyes at the king.

'Arthur is not Uther, Bayard as you well know, he is my brother and he has welcomed me here, I would be a fool to betray his kindness' Morgana said.

'You could be so much more' Bayard said more to himself than anyone else.

Arthur didn't like the look of contemplation that came over Bayard's face.

'I don't need anything more' Morgana said.

'Of course' Bayard said smiling again 'Women are nothing if not easily amused, I suppose the pretty dresses keep your attention happily enough'

Morgana forced herself not to glare at the insult to her intelligence and instead just smiled back serenely.

'Of course'

'Well, shall we go in?' Arthur said hastily stepping between the two 'I'll have a servant show you to your quarters where you can rest before dinner'

'Very well' Bayard said

Arthur stepped aside and gestured for him to enter the castle; he couldn't help but have a bad feeling about what was to come.

* * *

'What do you mean he questioned why you were there?' Merlin asked.

Morgana had gone back to her chambers soon after leaving Bayard in the courtyard only to find a pacing and frustrated Merlin awaiting her.

'He seemed to imply I could do better' Morgana said smiling slightly as she watched him pace from her place on the bed.

'I don't like him' Merlin said.

'Of course you don't' Morgana said.

'He's up to something' Merlin said 'I know he is'

'You always suspect something, don't you Merlin' Morgana said.

She couldn't deny Merlin's intelligence but aside from Bayard being his normal rude self she didn't suspect him of any wrong doing as of yet. Merlin however seemed determined to think ill of him.

'I could feel him touching you, even though I couldn't see, I wanted to kill him' Merlin said.

A few years ago Morgana would have laughed at the statement but watching Merlin pace now, she couldn't deny that the man before her simply oozed power and strength she wondered how she could have missed it before.

'He just kissed my hand Merlin, paying his respects' Morgana said even though at the memory of the kiss she had wanted to punch him herself.

'No one should be kissing you but me' Merlin said coming up to her now and taking said hand in his.

'I totally agree with you my love but it couldn't be avoided' Morgana said cupping his face with her other hand watching as Merlin's eyes danced with barely supressed rage.

'I want to come to the dinner tonight' Merlin said, allowing her touch to calm him slightly.

'Arthur won't allow it' Morgana said stroking his face in an attempt to keep him calm.

'Then I'll go as his servant, he can't deny that his servant should be in attendance' Merlin said with a look of triumph.

Morgana giggled Merlin was determined and she had to admit his look of possessiveness was quite attractive and made her cheeks heat but she couldn't help but get a bad feeling.

'You think you'll be able to keep a level head?' Morgan asked.

'Of course I will' Merlin said looking at her now and noticing how close they were.

'You're sure?' Morgana said bringing her face so close to his their lips nearly touched and had the satisfaction of watching as Merlin's eyes closed in bliss.

'Well, as long as you don't do this throughout the dinner' Merlin said running a hand through her hair.

'Hmm I don't think Arthur would approve' Morgana said and kissed his jawline moving up towards his adorable ears and sighed in satisfaction as Merlin's breath hitched.

'No I don't think he would' Merlin said.

Conversation stopped as Morgana gently bit down on his ear dragging her teeth down the lobe, Merlin groaned in reply and lowered her onto the bed feeling there bond flare up between them. He pinned her arms to the bed and kissed her in a passionate kiss gently biting down on her lower teeth and hissing in delight as Morgana moaned into his mouth allowing his tongue to sweep in and stroke her own.

Morgana moaned in satisfaction and thought that she definitely needed to make Merlin jealous a lot more often.

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_**No they've not had sex yet…you will know when they do trust me *fans face* let's just say that the jealously is going to step up another notch in the next chapter as Bayard makes his intentions clear.**_

_**Please review!**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**So I received my first flame the other week…thanks! All you do is waste 5 minutes of your own life complaining about something when all you're really accomplishing is making me hysterical with laughter and increasing my review count so go ahead keeping flaming…I really couldn't give a flying fuck!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**_

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Merlin's POV

Helping Arthur get ready was never one of my favourite jobs, well none of the jobs I ever had to do for Arthur were very enjoyable. But I realised that in my break with sorting out mine and Morgana's relationship that I had missed my job, I had missed Arthur and the easy comradeship we once shared. Our relationship would never be the same of course, but that didn't mean that it couldn't be even better than it was before.

I gently pinned his red cape into place and then brushed it down and stepped back to admire my work; he looked every inch the handsome young king, cocky, arrogant and confident in his own skin, it was something I greatly admired about him.

'This feels weird' Arthur said staring at me like I was some sort of strange creature.

'What does?' I asked confused, I didn't think I had got anything wrong this time. In fact I had managed to get him dressed without forgetting something; it was definitely a first for me.

'You pretending to be my servant' Arthur said still staring at me.

'Arthur I _am_ your servant there's no pretending about it' I said and was answered with a quiet snort and a shake of his head.

'You've never been just my servant Merlin, even before I knew about your magic, you've always been something more personal, now that your secret is out though I suppose I just realise how wasted as a servant you are' Arthur said.

I stared at him in shock. Me and Arthur weren't renowned for our deep meaningful conversations, we were more known for our insults competition and how well we ridiculed each other whilst still maintaining a light friendship, this was completely new for us, but not unwelcomed.

'I told you before Arthur, I'm proud to be your servant till the day I die' I said standing tall and proud.

'No Merlin, you're a son of magic, and you're the brother of dragons, leader of the druids and the most powerful man in the whole of the five kingdoms, you're not just a servant, don't be an idiot' Arthur said.

'Maybe' I replied 'But I am also a servant to my heart, at my heart tells me that my position for now is by your side as it has always been'

'And Morgana's lover on the side?' Arthur teased his eyes smiling.

'That's private' I said smiling back.

'Is it? I am her brother you know' Arthur said.

'Does that mean I have to ask for your permission?' I said 'Because I really don't see that happening' I laughed.

'You do if you want to marry her' Arthur said.

Marriage. Me…married to Morgana. Somehow that image would not come easily. I loved her with all my heart, our magic was already bound together for the rest of our very long lives why complicate it with marriage. Marriage ruined things; I and Morgana were prime examples of that.

'Why would I want to do that?' I asked laughing off Arthur's comment and missing his look of shock.

'You mean you don't want to?' Arthur asked.

'Of course not, were already bound together by magic why complicate things further?' I asked

'Because you love her?' Arthur asked.

'Of course I do, she knows it, and I know it why do we need a piece of paper to prove it? All I need to know is that deep in my heart me and Morgana will be together for the rest of time, I don't need to marry her to prove it' I said.

'But you're sleeping with her' Arthur said staring at me straight in the eyes.

'Erm…' I replied not sure what to say, we hadn't actually consummated our relationship yet but I had no idea why that would be any of Arthur's business.

'You've taken her innocence and her virtue you should make an honest woman out of her' Arthur said.

'An honest woman?' I questioned almost laughing at the awkwardness of this conversation 'after all the people she's killed, I would say her innocence is somewhat lacking'

'You know what I mean Merlin' Arthur said his voice getting sterner.

'Well not that it's any of your business but me and Morgana haven't gone that far' I said blushing.

'But you plan to' Arthur said, it wasn't a question.

'Sure, when were ready to take that step' I said.

'But you won't marry her?' Arthur asked deeply troubled.

'Why would I? I doubt she'd say yes and I have no inclination to marry her anyway, I don't need to' I said.

'So you would live in sin?' Arthur asked again.

'What's going on Arthur what has you so troubled?' I finally asked.

'I don't want Camelot thinking my sister is some whore' Arthur said.

The smile instantly left my face. How dare he? Mine and Morgana's relationship was absolutely none of his business and for him to imply that was way out of line.

'You're out of line Arthur' I said.

'Am I?'

'Yes, my relationship with your sister is absolutely none of your business' I said.

'It is if it effects my kingdoms reputation'

'Don't you think her having magic and being a priestess of the old religion already does that?' I asked.

'Yes, and I don't need you both adding to it by becoming the centre of gossip and speculation'

'I love her Arthur I would never take advantage of her'

'Then marry her then' Arthur said his voice rising.

'No, I won't be forced into anything least of all by you' I said and glared at him.

Our argument came to a standstill as we stared at each, other both of us panting from anger and frustration. My Mother and father hadn't married, I was a bastard, it didn't count for anything, and my father had loved my mother from miles away and had remained true to her for the rest of his life despite the separation. A piece of paper wouldn't change that.

Morgana had spent most of her life loving a man she believed was her father only for her life to be thrown upside down by her mother's affair. Marriage meant so little to people, and vows were easily thrown away.

I loved Morgana with everything I had, and if we decided as some point that we did want to get married then we would. But it would be on our terms and for our reasons, and I knew without even talking to her that marriage was something neither of us wanted nor believed in right about now.

'Let's just agree to disagree right now and get you to this dinner, you're already late' I said refusing to look him in the eye.

'Very well, but this isn't the end of this discussion Merlin'

I let him have the last words to make him feel more comfortable than he was. I would not be forced into anything, least of all marriage.

* * *

The feast was a disaster there were no other words for it.

I felt anger build up inside me in a slow progression throughout the night as I watched Bayard shamelessly flirt with Morgana. Arthur had done it, deliberately placing the two of them together. I knew he had. Basically trying to tell me that if I didn't marry her I couldn't exactly step up and claim her as my own or challenge Bayard to a duel as I desperately wanted to do right now.

I could feel Morgana's unease and disgust, felt it in my veins as I watched her beautiful emerald eyes flash to mine in discomfort and plead for help. I couldn't watch this any longer and I moved to stand behind her a wine jug in my hand poised to refill their cups should they ask and I was conveniently located to listen into their conversation.

'So what's a young priestess like you practice nowadays, necromancy, dark magic?' Bayard asked shamelessly lowering his gaze to her cleavage.

'Neither, I am taking a break considering my recent history' Morgana replied keeping her eyes lowered.

'A break, has Arthur forced you to stop practicing on pain of death? Bayard smirked whilst sucking on a grape.

'Of course not, I just don't feel comfortable practicing my craft right about now' Morgana said.

'And why's that, a young lady like you should have whatever she wants' Bayard said.

'I have everything I want, my lord' Morgana said forcefully.

'Really, what about a husband?' Bayard asked.

I stiffened in anger and a hiss escaped my mouth as I made to step forward. But Gwen's hand on my elbow stopped me as she shook her head and pulled me back.

'What good would it do Merlin?'

'She's mine' I said anger swirling through my thoughts.

'Yes she is, she knows that, you know that, don't cause a scene, we don't want to offend Bayard think of the consequences'

Sweet Gwen always spoke the truth and was always wise, I forced myself to listen to her words and forced myself to relax when all I wanted to do was blast Bayard into oblivion. I seemed to have caught Arthur's attention as well but he simply raised his eyebrow at me and turned back to his dinner.

I wanted to scream at him, he had no right to do this. I knew he hated Bayard's flirting just as much as I did, but he wasn't putting a stop to it. He was trying to make a point I knew he was. He had to know how much this was hurting me; the bond inside me was begging to be released. All I wanted was to seize Morgana and drag her to our rooms and ravage her until she was screaming my name. Until the entire world knew she was mine.

But Arthur wouldn't stop it because according to law no man had a claim on Morgana, she was unmarried and looking at the five kingdoms Morgana was a very good match for someone, powerful beautiful a worthy partner especially with her magic up for grabs. I forced myself back to their conversation.

'I have no need of a husband' Morgana said forcefully and I silently wanted to hug her and her fierceness.

'No?' Bayard asked 'you're just going to live off your brother's generosity for the rest of your life?' Bayard asked nastily.

'Of course not' Morgana said.

'Well why not consider marriage then, a young witch like you would make the perfect partner'

'And who would you have me marry my lord?' Morgana bit out clearly having to stop herself from taking action on the King herself.

'Why me of course, I think we would make a fine pair, your power, my wealth, together we could rule the world' Bayard said leaning closer and laying a hand on her arm.

I could feel my temper rising, it was getting unbearable.

'I have no wish to 'rule the world' as you say my lord' Morgana replied.

'No, then how about I just take you off your brothers hands, you've caused him no ends of problems with your rebellion and rise to power, I bet he'd love to be rid of you' Bayard said whispering words of poison into her ears.

'That's not true' Morgana said tears slipping down her face.

The tears almost broke me, he was upsetting her with his words, and he was making her cry. I wanted to tear him limb from limb and burn the pieces. Never had my magic wanted to respond so darkly before. Dark magic had never been more tempting than it was now. And I knew I would be good at it, I would be very good at it.

'Merlin' Gwen whispered gently taking my hand in an attempt to soothe me all she did was draw a gasp from Morgana as she felt her touch on my skin and I quickly pulled away shaking my head at her.

'Sorry' Gwen said.

'Oh you know it's true, your lost, you don't know who to turn too, everything Uther told you was a lie and you fear his son will become the same' Bayard continued.

'That's not true' Morgana whispered.

'You don't trust him, you don't trust him with your life, with your magic, with the magic wielders of this world, I can help you escape Morgana, and I can give you the freedom you long for' Bayard said.

Morgana just shook her head tears now freely flowing down her face. I was surprised no one else in the hall had realised what was going on, she was clearly distressed.

'I can help you' Bayard said.

I felt it then, his hand on her thigh moving upwards, I felt Morgana's disgust and pain, felt it combine with my own and then I couldn't take it, but before I could do anything Morgana had already done it.

She flew up out of her chair and pushed Bayard's hand off her person and with a flick of her hand his hands were bound and he was thrust of his chair as her eyes glowed molten gold.

'Morgana!' Arthur shouted shocked.

'Don't you dare touch me! How dare you take liberties with my person? How dare you insinuate such things? You know nothing about me King Bayard of Mercia' Morgana yelled at him and with that she turned and flew out of the hall to total silence as the rest of Arthur's guests stared after her in shock.

I was rooted to the spot in confusion, I wanted to kill him and I could feel my magic clawing at my skin begging to be let free I could feel Morgana's pain. How dare he?

'Merlin' Gwen said, snapping me out of trance.

'She needs you' Gwen said.

I forced myself to turn away and left the hall, refusing to meet Arthur's guilty eyes as I chased after the woman I loved.

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_**What did you think? Like, hate? Let me know!**_

_**Next chapter there might be some sexy possessive lemons going on if you're very lucky.**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Guys I've got so many other ideas for fan fiction lately…one is another Merlin idea that also won't leave me alone and another is James Bond fic set after Skyfall (such a good film) would you hate me if I posted other stories up as well as this one?**

**On the plus side, I feel guilty even thinking about it so I've updated for you so chances are you'll get more updates out of guilt than anything! Let me know!**

**Here there be Lemons you have been warned small children!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

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I ran through the stone corridors after Morgana trying to get my emotions under control, my anger was only increasing her own, and although inside I was cheering her use of magic I knew that people in the hall were most likely terrified. Bayard had deserved it though, how dare he touch her?

I approached her room and flinched at the sounds coming from within, it sounded like furniture was being thrown around the room and random words of the old religion were shouted in a dark voice that made me frown, if this caused Morgana to resort to her old ways, If Bayard had ruined my attempt to turn her good, there would not be a hole in the world where he could hide. I would tear down him his family and the whole of Mercia if I had too.

I opened the door and ducked as a chair broke apart in mid-air and turned to splinters, Morgana's magic was out of control. I forced myself to keep calm and brought up a light shield that was none threatening and would just protect me from her overuse of magic.

'Morgana you have to calm down' I said putting my hands up in surrender.

It was only now that I was talking that she realised I was even in the room, her eyes found mine and her magic tantrum instantly stopped and she burst into tears and fell to the floor in a heap. My heart felt like it was breaking.

I crouched down and crawled towards her on my hands and knees in case I startled her, when she didn't react I brought my hands up to pull her towards me so her head rested on my shoulder. I put one arm around her shoulders and the other I placed in her soft hair which I stroked soothingly.

'I'm so sorry I've ruined everything' Morgana sobbed.

'Don't be silly he had it coming' I told her.

'I should never resort to magic to get what I want' Morgana said shaking her head.

'Morgana he attacked you, you defended yourself the only way you know how, there's nothing wrong with that' I told her.

'I've made the people even more scared of me, of us, of what were capable of' Morgana said.

'The people of Camelot have no love for Bayard I bet they were rooting you on' I said trying to joke.

'The people of Camelot also have no love for me Merlin' Morgana whispered.

I watched as tears slipped down her face and I forced myself to remain calm and not give in to the anger that wanted to take over.

'You're wrong, they loved you once they will again, once they realise that caring young woman is still there, she just has a few extra things to her now' I said smiling wiping at her tears.

'I could feel your anger Merlin' Morgana said shivering.

'I know I'm sorry' I replied ashamed.

'I would never let him touch me, you know that right?' Morgana said.

'Of course I do' I told her.

'Only you' she whispered at me.

'Only me' I said.

I hesitantly turned her head towards mine and stared at her beautiful face marred by tears, even crying she was beautiful, her eyes shone like the brightest jewels and her hair was wild from her overuse of magic. She was perfect. Even mucking out the horses Morgana would still look beautiful. This woman was born to be beautiful. And again I questioned what god had decided that she was going to be mine.

'I love you so much' I said leaning closer practically breathing her in.

'I love you too Merlin' Morgana whispered brining a hand up to touch my face.

Her touch burned straight to my core I could feel my magic responding begging me to kiss her, to claim her.

'Do it' Morgana said, reading my emotions in my eyes and through our bond.

'Would it be right?' I questioned her, Arthur's warning hitting me in the back of my mind.

'Who cares about right, I want you, you want me, and I don't want to think about Bayard's touch' Morgana said.

I closed my eyes as I felt my barriers wobble; she brought out the worst in me this woman.

'Make me forget, make us one, please' Morgana said.

Her hand left my face and dragged down my chest and down to my crotch where I stopped before she could do any more. I pressed our foreheads together and forced myself to speak.

'Are you sure?' I asked.

'Never been surer of anything my love' Morgana said. And that was all the confirmation I needed.

(**HERE THERE SHALL BE LEMONS!)**

I groaned and closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to hers. It wasn't gentle, I couldn't be gentle I needed to wash the thoughts of Bayard from my mind and her body. I bit down on her lower lip which drew a gasp from her as she clung to my shoulders, my tongue swept into her mouth and moved to lick at her own; I had never wanted to be closer to her. All I could think about was getting closer and from the way she was reacting Morgana felt the same.

Her hands swept up to grab at my hair and she pulled at the short strands at the nape of my neck which made me arch and moan in reply. She took advantage of my momentary lapse of control and straddled my lap from our place on the floor. I could feel her breasts pressing into my chest I couldn't wait to taste them.

I wrapped her hair around my hand and pulled back sharply breaking our kiss and attached my lips to her neck trailing kisses to her pulse point and sucking on it until she was moaning in my arms. It wasn't enough; I wanted her to be moaning my name, needed it like I needed air to breathe needed it like the magic that ran through my veins.

I pulled her to my chest tightly and then wrapped her legs around my hips and using strength I didn't know I had stood up with her in my arms and placed her on the bed never breaking our precious contact. I followed her down kissing past her throat towards her breast line where I dipped into her cleavage she taste like honey and magic and all things brilliant.

'Morgana' I whispered her name like a prayer. She was my siren come down to seduce me; it almost felt like she was the one taking me. We were taking each other.

She pulled at my shirt and I readily sat back and lifted my arms in reply tearing of my neckerchief in the process, I wasn't self-conscious, what was there to be self-conscious of? This was my magic mate, my soul mate, my lover, my friend. How could I be embarrassed when I read the love that she offered me in her eyes?

She sat up and ran her hands down my chest and tweaked at one of my nipples and it was my turn to groan as desire peaked inside me and I let out a deep growl I didn't know I could possess and grabbed her hands and pushed her none to gently back to the bed and placed her hands above her head. I kissed her lips gently so as not to scare her, readily aware that things were going quickly and she smiled into the kiss. She knew I would never hurt her. She knew she meant everything to me.

I twisted on her wrists and she rolled over instantly knowing what I wanted. I pushed her silken hair off her back and unfastened the strings of the back of her dress. As skin was revealed I traced every inch I saw with kisses. She was stunningly beautiful her complexion and skin tone so like my own which somehow looked magnificent on her.

I pulled the dress down her shoulders and turned her back onto her front where I could gaze at her breasts for the first time. They were perfect, I took one in my hand and traced the curve and reveled in her soft moan. I lowered my head and took a rosy nipple in my mouth tasting her and wanting more. I sucked her nipple until it turned hard and she was pushing her groin up against mine begging for friction, for relief. I forced my hips away, there was no way I was finished with her. I turned to her other breast and gave it the same treatment whilst fondling the other with my hand.

'Merlin, you're driving me crazy!'

'That's the idea' I whispered into her skin.

Her skin was so soft; I could spend forever worshiping it and it smoothness. All of sudden nails scratched down my back and I groaned and arched my back in pain and pleasure and smirked down at her.

'Minx'

She winked in reply and I kissed her into submission, I could never get enough of her lips so supple under my own bending to my every pleasure. I dragged my hands back to her hips where her dress still covered her body and forced myself to break her kiss so I could pull her dress and undergarments from her leaving her naked.

I stared down at the beautiful picture she made, her arms by her head her hair billowed out around her. Her smooth sleek body was pure white and unblemished and every inch of her looked perfect.

'You're perfect Morgana' I told her. She just smiled secretly back at me confident in her own flesh.

I pulled of my boots and turned my attention to her feet which I licked and nipped at making her chuckle. I rubbed my hands up her smooth legs and let my lips follow tracing patterns as I went getting higher and higher until I approached her inner thigh which I licked at.

'Merlin' she moaned.

I knew what she wanted, it was the same thing I did but for the first time I felt a small hint of nerves. I wanted this to be good for her, we were both virgins so experience would come with time but hearing of the horror stories that sometimes circulated made me think twice. I didn't want to cause her pain.

'Merlin don't over think this' Morgana said looking down at me.

I smiled and kissed my way back up to her lips whilst still keeping a hand on her thigh as I got closer and closer to the place she most wanted my touch. I gently traced the shape of her making her gasp into my lips. Our foreheads pressed together as I forced myself to concentrate and Morgana to give in to pleasure.

I entered one finger into her and traced her inner walls which made her arch into my hand. Her own hand covered mine and forced me onwards. I added a second and gently curled them pressing a certain point inside her that made her see stars. I could feel her pleasure through our bond as if it was my own and I groaned at the sensation. At least through our bond I would know if I was causing her discomfort apparently I wasn't.

I brought my thumb into the action and rubbed it in circles against her clitoris, her moans were getting louder now and I could feel the tension building in her stomach, I could feel it getting higher and higher and I knew she was close. I thrust my fingers harder and I felt her ecstasy.

'Merlin…Oh God!' She screamed as her orgasm hit her and I felt it as if it was my own, her pleasure was my pleasure our bond made sure of that.

I pulled my fingers out of her reluctantly and gently stroked her hip until she turned glazed eyes to me.

'More' she whispered and I smirked in reply.

'As my lady wishes' I replied kissing her again.

Her hands now unclenched from the bed sheets and moved to my trousers which she undid with ease, she was just as eager as I was to be joined. This was inevitable from the very moment she had appeared in that hall in all her rage. Every moment from then felt like it had been leading to this moment.

I stripped out of trousers and underclothes until I tangled our bodies together in an array of naked limbs. We finally had skin on skin contact and nothing had ever felt so right. Our bond was screaming in pleasure and my magic wanted to be joined with hers I could feel it bursting at my skin.

I felt her hand enclose my length and I groaned in pleasure as she moved her hand with a skill neither of us knew she possessed.

'Stop' I said.

I gripped her hand and pulled it over her head so she was lying pliant beneath me every inch the beautiful seductress she was. She smiled devilishly at me as if she knew she was doing wrong and I grinned and nipped at her breasts lightly in retaliation.

Gently I moved her thighs apart and rested between them and kissed her snaking my tongue between her lips thrusting into her mouth in the way I wanted to her body. She seemed to get the picture because she groaned and wrapped her legs around my waist bringing her hot centre in line with my penis.

She closed her eyes in anticipation not fear, but that would not do.

'Look at me' I said.

'Look at me when I make you mine' I whispered stroking her face forcing those beautiful emeralds to lock with my eyes.

She smiled at me and that was all the encouragement I needed. I gently pushed forward and moaned in pleasure at how tight she was, I could feel her all around my length, wet, hot and tight and it was the worst kind of heaven. I looked into her eyes and saw no pain but I knew that would come soon enough. I pulled her hands to mine and with them clasped I pushed them above her head so I was fully on top of her. I stared at her again in question and she nodded.

I thrust forward and broke through her barrier and felt her flash of pain and her eyes slammed shut for a second. I put my mouth by her ear and whispered sweet nothings into her ear about how much I loved her, how much I would never leave her. As the pain resided and she opened her eyes again and I started a gentle pace marvelling at the feel of her.

'I love you' I told her gripping her hands harder as I thrust into her.

She smiled and tilted up to meet me and the new angel shocked both us, I could feel her answering pleasure to my own and it was undeniable and unquestionable, we were made for each other. Arthur may be my destiny but this girl, this lovely young woman was my heart and future, the carrier of my soul.

She gripped harder with her thighs around my waist and I got her unspoken request, I pushed harder into her never breaking our gaze, I could feel pleasure building, hers and my own and my magic was now crying out to be released in some way.

'You feel it too?' I asked, and she nodded in reply.

My magic was begging to be released it needed her just like I did. I felt it buzz beneath my skin and I let it run through my body and felt my eyes glow golden gold. Morgana got the message and did the same bringing her magic, our bond to the surface so that it shone golden in her eyes. I felt it then, our connection was complete. In this moment buried in her body I could hear every thought, feel every moment, taste every inch of her magic every part of her that longed to reach me. I knew she could feel the answering feelings in my own body.

I thrust harder burying my head in her neck breathing in her scent, our scent, the scent of our connection and it was joyous. She broke our hands and pulled at my back begging to be closer and that's when I felt her pleasure as her second orgasm broke inside her and she screamed my name for the whole castle to hear and I found I couldn't care.

I followed her, succumbing to my body's will and let go burying myself inside her as pleasure the likes I have never felt erupted inside of me.

'Morgana!' I gasped her name riding out the waves of my orgasm.

We came down from our high still joined and again I stared into her eyes in wonder as she brushed a hand through my hair. Tears collected in her eyes and I knew they were happy ones, happiness at finally being complete. Happiness I shared.

'We'll have this forever' I promised her and suddenly immortality didn't look that bad as long as I could be buried inside her for the rest of time.

I gently shifted out of her and rolled until we were curled on our sides a mixture of sweat and heat that created its own pleasure as I curled into her warmth wrapping my arms around her.

'Arthur wants us to marry' I said, knowing that I could bring it up without argument.

'Arthur wants what he can't have; he always has' Morgana said tracing my shoulders with a hand.

'You don't want to marry?' I asked.

'Maybe, someday, I don't know, but not right now, we both know we don't want that' She said staring at me.

'I know' I said 'I just don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you'

'Merlin you have the best heart of anyone in the world, magic chose you, Arthur chose you and now I'm choosing you, there is no one I trust more in this world' Morgana said kissing my lips.

'Good' I said smiling and kissed her back.

'He's going to want an explanation though, for tonight' I whispered.

'We can deal with that in the morning' Morgana said her eyes drifting shut.

I curled my arms around her breathing her in and knowing that for now, right at this moment things were utterly perfect.

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**Someone get me a cigarette! Woohoo my first straight lemon that's a first! Hope you liked it! Let me know about the other thing to, would you be annoyed if I posted other stories? **

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	24. Chapter 24

**Hey Guys! I'm back…I have a new Merlin story it's called 'Walking Behind Shadows' it's Merthur so check it out! But if that's not your cup of tea…don't read it! =] This story is my priority though; I just wanted to get my other one up and running. But this one has my undivided attention again. Woop!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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What neither Merlin nor Morgana expected that morning was for Arthur to come flying into their chambers unannounced…luckily they were not engaging in any morning after activities but what he did see was Morgana grabbing the sheets to hide her breasts which left Merlin topless and uncovered, apparently that was all Arthur needed to put two and two together.

'How dare you?!' Arthur thundered looking like he wanted nothing more than to run Merlin through.

'Arthur, we can discuss this later when Merlin and I are dressed, we'll come down in a minute' Morgana said whilst still preserving her modesty.

Arthur though was still staring at Merlin like he had committed the utmost act of betrayal… as if having magic wasn't enough.

'Arthur!' Morgana said again.

Arthur turned on his heel and banged the door shut causing Merlin and Morgana to flinch.

'That didn't go very well' Merlin said.

'Are you kidding, he didn't try to kill you. I'd say that went remarkably well' Morgana said dropping the sheet and walking unashamedly past a gawping Merlin and behind the screen to wash and change.

Pulling himself together Merlin tried to think of a reply.

'I…I never knew you were such an optimist' Merlin said, getting up and finding new clothes.

'You have that effect on me,' Morgana said.

'Along with a few others I would hope,' Merlin joked and received the lovely sound of Morgana's laughter in reply.

'He's going to be so mad' Merlin said.

'Who, Arthur?' Morgana asked.

'Who else?' Merlin mocked ignoring the wet towel that flew over and struck him in the face.

'Bayard obviously, I used magic on him Merlin and I spurned his advances…he's not going to be very happy,' Morgana said.

'No, I suppose not' Merlin said. 'That added to the fact I went against Arthur's wishes and bedded you, I think Arthur's anger might trump Bayard's.'

'Who knew we could cause this amount of trouble?' Morgana laughed.

'Oh I knew the minute I set foot in Camelot you would be trouble' Merlin laughed.

'Hmm, I did go out of my way to cause problems' Morgana laughed.

'Who knew we would end up like this?' Merlin said sobering.

'No one' Morgana replied coming out from behind the scree dressed in a green silk gown that clung to every inch of her body 'not even the gods or the dragon prophecies could have known this would happen.'

'So much for destiny' Merlin sighed.

'You and Arthur will still bring peace and prosperity to Albion Merlin, I have no doubt about that' Morgana said.

'Hmm, I just slept with Arthur's virginal sister…I think Albion may have to wait' Merlin laughed.

'You were a virgin too…maybe I took away _your_ innocence' Morgana laughed winking.

'I think one thing we can agree on Morgana, neither of us are innocent' Merlin said walking up towards his magic mate and running a hand across her cheek sighing as he watched her turn into it.

'Time to face the masses' Morgana said kissing his hand that stroked her cheek.

'Let's do it' Merlin said taking her hand in his and leading her out of their chambers.

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Walking into the council rooms Merlin felt as though the temperature dropped by several degrees. Arthur was sat on his throne looking every inch the imposing king. The Knights of the Round Table stood around him looking efficiently awkward, well except Gwaine who gave Merlin the thumbs up and winked outrageously at Morgana. Bayard Merlin noticed was nowhere to be seen.

'You have some serious explaining to do,' Arthur said glaring down at them.

'Where would like us to start?' Merlin asked.

'How about we start with that fact that you slept with my sister after I specifically asked you not too,' Arthur said ignoring the way the knights looked around the room awkwardly.

Percival was staring at the floor apparently entranced with the stone work. Whereas Elyan had taken to inspecting the ceiling and all its marvels. Leon was attempting to remain Arthur's right hand man and was staring back at Merlin and Morgana, but Merlin could see the blush that was sporting his cheekbones. And Gwaine was grinning from ear to ear and making obscene hand gestures.

'Right on Merlin' Gwaine said flicking his hair and fluttering his eyelashes like a love struck teenage girl.

'Gwaine!' Arthur yelled.

'Oh lighten up Princess, the two of them love each other…who cares if they don't want to marry' Gwaine replied.

'I do, Morgana is of noble birth do you not know of the scandal which will come of this?' Arthur said.

'Oh as opposed to the scandal of your own Father having an illicit affair with my mother, for leading the whole of Camelot to believing I was nothing but his ward. As opposed to the scandal of me having magic and attempting to other throw your kingdom' Morgana said crossing her arms.

Silence came with her words as Arthur was forced to acknowledge her point. It was Uther that caused the scandal in the first place by not being honest and claiming Morgana as his rightful daughter.

'At least we're not hiding any secrets Arthur and I will not be bullied into marriage by you' Morgana said.

'What do you have against it?' Arthur asked 'it would solve all these problems, you both clearly love each other, and so what's the problem?'

'The problem is …I was conceived out of wedlock, so was Merlin, my mother and Gorlois love mattered little in the end. Merlin's father was forced to flee the woman he loved and her unborn child…but he still loved her fiercely' Morgana said.

'And your point?' Arthur asked.

'Marriage matters very little where love is concerned Arthur, I don't need a piece of paper to know that I love Merlin. I am bonded to him in magic and by my heart, marriage won't change that' Morgana said.

'But the problem is Morgana' Arthur said standing throwing his hands up in the air 'Is that you're a very eligible match, you're of noble birth, you're royal, you're beautiful and now you have all this power, it's no wonder Bayard came here looking to marry you.'

'That's why Bayard is here?' Morgana asked feeling dread set in his stomach.

'Yes' Arthur replied 'he came to me after the feast asking for your hand, and what am I supposed to say…Sorry she's taken when there's no ring on your finger?' Arthur questioned.

'Yes, that's exactly what you say!' Merlin said feeling possessiveness rise up in him at the thought of Bayard asking for Morgana's hand in marriage.

'Merlin,' Morgana whispered turning to him and running a hand down his cheek in comfort.

'I told him you would not accept and he wants an explanation' Arthur said.

'Now?' Merlin asked.

'Now' Arthur replied 'he's outside'

Morgana sighed and looked at Merlin who understood and nodded. She took his hand and stepped so she was facing the door and then nodded at Arthur.

'Bring him in then' Morgana said.

Arthur nodded to the servants at the doors and they bowed their heads and opened the doors. Bayard barged in looking every bit the imposing pissed of king. He noticed Morgana and froze staring at where she had Merlin's hand clasped in hers.

'So this is why you aren't marrying me?' Bayard thundered 'A serving boy?'

'I'm sorry my lord but my heart belongs to another' Morgana said.

'I could offer you the world Morgana, what can this lowlife possibly give you?' Bayard thundered looking at Merlin with hate and disdain.

Morgana put her hand on Merlin's shoulder feeling his magic rising up through their bond.

'He can give me love and safety' Morgana said.

'Safety? The boy looks like he's never seen a sword in his life' Bayard sneered.

'He can give me safety, from men like you who would only seek to use my power for their own ends' Morgana said.

'You would be my _partner_ Morgana' Bayard.

'Partner in what? Partner in trying to take over Camelot for you, to exploit my knowledge and power? Morgana asked. 'Well I won't let you'

'That boy has no claim to you' Bayard said.

'He does, he's my magic mate' Morgana said.

Bayard now looked utterly confused.

'Bayard, believe me you don't want to know any more' Arthur said from where he sat on his throne.

'What secret have you been keeping from me Arthur?' Bayard asked whilst staring at Merlin.

'No secret Bayard, its general knowledge that Merlin is a sorcerer' Arthur said.

Bayard's eyes widened in surprise 'So not only do you have a high priestess at your side you have a petty sorcerer as well'

'Oh I'm no petty sorcerer Bayard' Merlin said stepping forward. 'The druids call me Emrys, perhaps you have heard of me'

Bayard actually took a step back in fear. Merlin looked every inch the powerful warlock; somehow he could turn off his innocent charm and become powerful warlock in the blink of an eye.

'And you can't have Morgana, if you approach her again, you will have me to answer too' Merlin said.

Bayard's cheeks turned pink in humiliation, he was being denied marriage by a commoner…a magical commoner but Merlin was still just a servant and Bayard was a king.

'Very well, I will know how to act' Bayard said and with that he nodded to his guard and turned on his heel and strode out of the room.

There was a long pause whilst everyone regained their breath. Morgana walked up to Merlin and took his hand and gently kissed his cheek.

'What did he mean by that?' Arthur asked '_I will know how to act?'_ Arthur mimicked.

'I don't know, but I'm not sure Bayard will take this lying down Arthur' Leon said.

'No, and it's my fault' Morgana said.

'Hey, no its not. No one should be forced into something they don't want Morgana' Merlin said stroking her hair.

'I don't want to start a war' Morgana said.

'Why the hell not?' Gwaine said laughing 'you not only have two men fighting over you Morgana, you've got _kingdoms_ fighting over you, and I would think that would be every ladies dream'

'Not mine' Morgana said her shoulders slumping.

'Have no fear Morgana, if Bayard does mean to go to war Camelot will be ready, I will send out scouts to the Mercia border to spy on Bayard and they will let us know if he means to go to war' Arthur said coming down from his throne and placing a hand on Morgana's shoulder.

'Okay' Morgana whispered.

'I don't agree with you two not marrying, I think it would solve a lot of problems' Arthur said 'But you have my blessing.'

'Thank you Arthur' Merlin said and took his hand in a strong grip.

'You're just missing out on the chance to become my brother' Arthur said.

'Oh yeah, I knew there was a reason why we were saying no' Merlin joked.

'Hey' Arthur said smacking his back.

'Arthur, I would be honoured, and one day maybe it will happen, but it will be on our terms not on anyone else's' Merlin replied whilst Morgana nodded in agreement.

'We just haven't had the best experience when we look into our family history' Morgana said.

'I understand, besides if Bayard does attack or that sorcerer in your dreams, we will need to be ready, and I will need my two strongest friends by my side a wedding might make us lose our heads' Arthur said.

'Yes, that's true' Merlin replied.

'We will be ready Arthur;' Morgana said 'I will fight by your side with pride'

'I would have you nowhere else' Arthur said.

'Aww, group hug' Gwaine said and then skipped forwards and wrapped his arms around the three of them squeezing tightly.

'Gwaine you utter moron' Merlin said his voice muffled and felt like his ribs were snapping.

Merlin knew that as long as they stuck together, everything would be fine.

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**Yeah! Again, go read my other story I could use the followers! But no pressure if you can't be arsed just make sure you review this chapter instead!**

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